What's wrong with me?

Question

Nearly a year ago, I was doing everything I could to stop thinking about a guy who was just no good for me. Finally thought I could trust myself and another man so I let one in. Just when I thought I had found someone really special and that we might start getting "closer"... he ends it. I've been dumped. Who hasn't right? The problem now is that I just keep thinking that I want to f*** every guy I see or every guy I ever turned down. Of course, I won't do it. I know sex alone will never fulfill me. Has anyone else felt this way before? Honestly, I have a very strong relationship with God and myself so I don't understand this. Have I just found my inner slut or am I so starved for affection that I have become desperate. Any psychologists out there who can tell me what this is?

Answer 1

It's fairly basic. Being rejected and experiencing failed relationships has made you doubt your value and appeal as a woman. Part of you thinks that having sex with lots of men will prove your desireability and improve your self-image. Of course we both know that's not true. Your self-image can only be improved from inside, not from making yourself into a sex-object for other people. Instead, do things that are fulfilling and growth-oriented for youself. Travel, read works of literature, join a book club or some other activity club. Be with your friends. Grow as a person and your self-worth will grow alongside.

NO GROWTH comes from outside. Not from sex, not from 'God', not from partying. It only EVER happens when we learn and grow from the inside. You need to find things that you like and admire about yourself that have NOTHING to do with whether or not you're with a man, otherwise your relationships with men will always be unsatisfactory. Love yourself first, others later.

Answer 2

I think that you are desperate for approval and desperate to validate yourself, and you want to f every guy you see to get this approval. You want to do something that proves that you aren't unlike-able, or unlove-able. The whole relationship with God thing might even be making your urge stronger - you might also have a slightly rebellious nature, and if you are very religious you've been pretty couped up sexually. It would be understandable to want to break free of all that confinement, especially when most of the rules don't make much logical sense to me. I'm glad that you WILL NOT do that though, because what ends up happening is that you realize after sex that the guy (usually, not always) does not have respect for you, and does not even want to be your friend. This is because a lot of guys are chauvinistic pigs, and although they just engaged in casual sex too, they somehow think that casual sex makes them better, and makes you worse. It's THE DOUBLE STANDARD.

Answer 3

Ahhhh, do you realize that you are facing your fears...and that's good....however you're thinking about revenge but forgetting that you will hurt yourself more.....so take back control.

1. Make a list of all of the attributes you admire in people ....and add to the list ...how you have some of the same attributes.

2. Make a list of all the things you hate, yes what's bugging you and all those who have hurt you....and what you won't accept in your life....any more!

3. When you're done with the what's bugging you list, tear it up and throw it away.

4. Then decide what you want to do with your life...what education, what career, what clothes you like, what changes you wish to make, what your friends think of their career choices, and decide that you want to choose to live your own life.

You are worth it.....You are worth being happy...hey we all have had problems and been dumped in some way or another, and we have to shrug that off.....and put it on the "bugging me list", then tear it up.

Now, You have a Right to a Rockin Relationship...and anything short of that...sorry does not measure up to your happiness.

So Thank GOD that you found out now what that person...in the past was like before you wasted one more day with that person.

Remember YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO A ROCKIN RELATIONSHIP.....So smile at every mirror you see....and see how you're taking back control of your life.

Now, don't forget to post...when you have that Rockin Relationship....men are like buses...another comes in about 15 minutes to 1/2 hour........now, where's that smile...a Big Smile!
LOL!...bigger smile LOL

Answer 4

Well I am no Psychologist. But you must be one fo the people who has a bit of ''unluckness'' if I may say. You were attached to the first man. And so forth you have been dying to repeat the experience with other men. Yes you have found yourself in a sense, you have found what you want. But what you physically and mentally require are indeed rest period's... set aside so that you may repeat the experience in your thoughts and dreams, and not in the real world.

Answer 5

I understand your frustration .
I know how you must feel .........but ......think about the fact that you are a person that needs to be loved and love in return .
There` are some good men out there .....just give yourself time to find the right one .
I know you will find one
Don't get focused on getting even with ALL men .
That's not what you really want , now is it ?
Be positive girl ......it helps a lot , believe me .

Answer 6

I know how you feel. I had to go through counselling to get through some men problems myself. I suggest you do the same, stay close to God, pray and get yourself some help to raise your self esteem. Good Luck and God Bless.

Answer 7

U be Ok, its like this for a while after feeling dumped. be strong n make sure that U deserve more than this so go for what U deserve n leave the past where it was, good luck

Answer 8

You might want to read The Confessions of St. Augustine. He wrestled with this also and he was very close to God. Good luck.

Answer 9

i have a very similar problem, and farien3's answer is the best one on this page, in my opinion.

farien3, can i take you home and put you in my pocket, for life-consultations throughout the day? hahahhaah...

:D