My 4 month baby refuses to nurse, can anyone help?

Question

I'm so desperate, my ds was always good at the breast since he was born, but starting Oct 21st, he has been refusing my breast, would only nurse when I lay him down at night next to me. If I lay like this during the day, he wouldn't even touch it. Tried nurse walking him, tried everything that I could think of, I read online about a nursing strike, but they say that this should only last for about 4 days; it's been 22 days, ds is getting really skinny. We went for his 4th month checkup on the 3rd and I told the ped that he hasn't been nursing well; the ped didn't care to check, he said that as long as he gains 1lb/mth at least then he should be fine. Ds has always been a big boy, even now that hehas lost weight he is still within the normal range so i found that irrelevant. I don't think it's normal that in a day like today for example, he has only nursed once for like 5 minutes and starts arching his back and starts screaming if I even try to nurse longer. Anyone with same problem?

I just wanna add that he hates bottles, he just screams if we even try.

Answer 1

I wasnt sure if your son has actually LOST weight, or just isnt gaining as well as before. Since your pediatrician said he's fine as long as he's gained 1lb a mth and he's not concerned, than I'll assume he's gained albeit a smaller amt.
My daughter and I went through a mth long nursing nightmare - hindsight tells me it was teething related. She started at around 4 1/2mths and it continued to almost 6mths. She would start to fuss, I'd try to feed her, she'd nurse a few minutes than turn her head and refuse to come back, all the while fussing. I'd change sides, same thing, it was terrible. I had people telling me maybe I had 'ran out' of milk, and so I started to give a bottle of formula a day just to make sure she was still getting enough. That isnt the answer though to start giving formula in bottles, you need to find the problem and fix that - not give up on breastfeeding. I'm disappointed there are people who tell you to do just that. And he's too young for cereal, dont think you need to do that either.
Buy a teething ring you can put in the fridge, then give him that to chew on before you nurse. You can also rub your finger along his gums. If that doesnt work, I guess you can look for what others have recommended - this teething tylenol that is out there. Try to nurse as much as you can at night, I found my girl nursed pretty much like normal at night but it was during the day she had issues. I dont know if it was the fact she was tired, or that things were calmer, I'm not sure... but the important thing is that your baby is getting enough milk, not that he's getting it during the day.
I found that as soon as her first teeth came through, the nursing problems disappeared as quickly as they came. Fight your way through it, and dont give up.

Answer 2

My son started to refuse being nursed when he was 40 days. But that happened because I was having a difficult time with my husband, and we had big arguments all the time. For me it seemed that the child was avoiding contact his mother in a state of desperation and depression.
We had to rely on the bottle, that in that case was completely accepted by him once the arguments diminished once my husband could feed him, too.
In your case, I would analyse the emotional situation surrounding the baby, if there's any reason why the baby might be rejecting being breast fed at that time. At 4 months babies become more active and maybe it feels you are interrupting some interesting thing he might be doing instead. In order to keep his oral muscles to develop (that's is one of the main reasons why breast feeding is o important, besides imunity) you can take some of your breast milk and feed the child with a spoon. The bottle might add to the child completely giving breast feeding up, once it is easier.
If your doctor refuses to give you any advice about it, I think you should look for another doctor.

Answer 3

Hopefully you have been pumping to maintain your supply?

Has he been checked for an ear infection?
Have you tried nursing in a dark, quiet room?
Have you tried latching him on when he isn't quite awake?
Have you tried "rebirthing" with him? (Take a warm bath together and nurse him in the tub.)
Lots of skin to skin contact for the two of you.
Could he be teething? Have you tried offering teething remedies before offering the breast? Hyland's Teething Tablets are the best.
Have you tried doing breast compression while nursing to help him get to the hindmilk faster so he'll get more calories?
Was he getting lots of bottles prior to this? Maybe he's developed a preference for the ease and speed of the milk flow from a bottle? If this is a possibility, try pumping until you get a letdown before you offer the breast so he'll get a quicker reward.
Is there any chance you could be pregnant?

Tons more ideas and help at the link below.
Also, contact your local La Leche League Leader or Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) for some help.

EDITED TO ADD:
You need to get milk into him somehow. If he isn't taking the breast and refuses bottles, then I'd suggest a soft spout sippy cup (Avent makes a good one), or a spoon or a Rubbermaid "juice box" that uses a straw. The Rubbermaid "juice box" is good because you can squeeze it and squirt a little in to help them get the idea. Many breastfed babies do really well with a straw.

http://www.rubbermaid.com/rubbermaid/product/product.jhtml?prodId=HPProd100042

Answer 4

Have you tried to pump and give him your milk in a bottle. I have the opposite problem. My daughter will only nurse and not take the bottle. Try to feed him before he gets hungry. I had to walk and bounce my daughter a little while nursing her. I would call ped. again tell them you are very concerned or try to call another ped for a second a opinion. Some hospitals have lactation consults you might be able to call them for some help best of luck

Answer 5

Some kids do this. Have you tried pumping and bottle feeding him instead? It could be that he's not satisfied with milk anymore and needs cereal, he's at the normal cereal age anyway.

A lot of baby's change their nursing habits, or have a favorite time or position for nursing. It may be that you need to just give it up and get food in him some other way.

The doctors comment of 1 lb a month is relavent, it doesnt matter how big he is, so long as at each check up he's gaining weight as he should. Losing weight would be a problem, and they record his weight for the purpose of making sure he isnt losing any.

I'd try cereal and pumping. If all else fails you can switch to formula. Atleast he will still be eating.

Answer 6

Have you changed your diet? Maybe your milk has changed in taste and he doesn't like it? If he has been screaming and arching his back, he's probably gassy and needs some gas relief drops (they work wonders!) He's almost at the point to which you can start giving him cereal. My 6 month old actually would rather eat baby food than take a bottle. As long as he is still growing, he should be fine.

Answer 7

Maybe try different baby formulas? Take note if he prefers something over another or if just the act of feeding makes him uncomfortable. Then mix your breast milk with his favorite choice and ween him towards 100% breast milke. I hope nothing serious is happening.

However, refusing to eat is very anti-instinctual. I f it gets worse or doesnt improve after a long time, please consider the following...

Please get him a full checkup. He may have some kind of disorder that causes physical discomfort while feeding. I would check for allergic reactions, internal scan for deformations, diseases, and anything else you can think of. Maybe he's missing some sort of digestive enzyme or acid?

Answer 8

Go back to the doctor and tell him all this again. Your baby may be experiencing severe reflux problems, or some other serious problem that is not being addressed. If you think there is a problem, then likely there is.

Don't worry about what the doctor thinks about you, keep insisting he check your baby out. When it's your first child, some pediatricians think you are just a hysterical first-timer.

Answer 9

Have you been giving him a bottle? My DD did that when she figured out the bottle was easier. She would get mad because it didn't come out fast enough and she actually had to work for it. She would start nursing and then throw her head back and forward and scream. We wound up switching to the bottle full time when she wouldn't even nurse at night anymore.

Answer 10

As others have suggested he may be happier with a bottle rather than the breast. Try expressing some milk and putting it in a bottle and see if he is happier with this. You may find he wants a combination of both bottle and breast. If he is happier taking a bottle you then have to make the decision whether you want to continue expressing milk or putting him on formula. I read somewhere that 20% of babies by the age of 6 months have moved on to bottle feeding. What ever you do don't continue with the current situation any longer as your baby needs his daily intake of vitamins etc.