Why do men have to be "financially stable" before they marry?

Question

I can understand having money ready before you have kids, but unless you plan on letting your wife stay home all day, why can't she work too? You can get financially stable together! They say that so many marriages end in divorce, but that statistic is misleading. It doesn't count how many other relationships don't survive to even get to the point of marriage! most relationships end, it's not just marriages! So being financially ready isn't going to ensure your marriage will work; it just makes us think you don't want to marry us.

Answer 1

Speaking for myself only, I had to reach a point in my career where I felt "successful" and was generally happy about my life while being single to even begin to feel I deserved the type of woman it takes to have a happy and healthy relationship.

I've seen too many unhappy marriages and too few happy ones, so I made a study of the happy marriages and discovered that the couples were generally composed of happy, confident, flexible partners who had positive attitudes and generally respected one another.

I had to respect myself before I felt I deserved that kind of relationship.

Answer 2

How other relationships end up doesn't matter because it is still the 'trying out' phase. When people get married, it is ideally supposed to last a life time.

As to why men have to be financially stable, who is gonna finance the family when the women is pregnant? I am not saying that women cant be financially stable....but just not during their pregnancy time period. Women can work too.

Also, men do not plan, or shouldnt at least, for their wives to stay at home. Rather, they should discuss it with their wives and see how the family can balance work and taking care of the kids. In this way, there is an understanding of roles instead of blindly following what the social norms are.

Being financially is not an indication of a good marriage but it sure is an important factor. Statistics show the lower class families have a higher divorce rate than the upper class.

Answer 3

They don't all have to be financially stable but the one you marry should be.

What you have to think about is all the things that can cause tension in a relationship. One of the leading causes of tension in a relationship is finances. Money is stressful. Paying the bills is stressful. You have to realize that if one person isn't pulling their weight it's going to but a damper on everything.

I disagree that it's a misleading statistic. It's correct in what it's measuring.
The thing is, until you are married, or considered common law, you are not responsible for the other person when you separate in the eyes of the law.

And on top of it, wouldn't you want to be financially stable for just the fact that you could start your life as a documented couple on a strong foot? You're taking on alot financially with marriage. A shared home, a shared lifestyle.

And no, of course being financially stable isn't going to ensure a marriage will work, nothing can ensure that. But it is one less thing to worry about, and believe me, if anything will cause tension it's your finances.

Answer 4

Being financially stable in a marriage is a must. When the honeymoon is over, is love going to pay the bills. Not, therefore thousands of questions should be asked also. Rushing into a marriage, because both are capable of working, isn't grounds for a stable marriage. A strong marriage that survives the test of times, takes communications skill's and alot of time preparation. It's not all about the sex.

Answer 5

I think and believe as most of the comments that it is a good thing for a man to be financially stable before he is ready to choose a wife. When you decide to ask a woman to be your wife ,man should have obtained and secured what is needed. A love of God,a home,stable job,and good financial security. These eliminate a lot of worries,tension etc. I believe both should have these. Respect,communication,trust,patience,and Love are needed. You do not have to have high income,stable income yes! They can build and share income to live and enjoy the type of lifestyle they both enjoy.

Answer 6

Men have been raised to provide for their families. To them that means being financially stable before marriage. What's the big deal? I admire a man who has a plan and sticks with it. You will be happy he is good with money when you do marry him.

Answer 7

I think it is easier to marry someone when you know that the money you both make is for to to both live on not to be each others bills that accumulated before you got to together. You dont have to be debt free but alot of men like to get things taken care of financially before settling down and I dont thing its a bad idea. You can ever predict when a new baby will come into your life so you dont want all these other expenses in the way. I think it is smart and respectful of a man to not want to marry before getting his finances taking care of first same as a woman in my opinion.

Answer 8

Doesn't matter if he came from the east, west, the north or the south, this is totally unacceptable. He sounds like he hasn't had enough fun or hasn't had enough dates. He's really not ready to settle down, nor he respects or loves the girl he's going to marry. He is just interested with the idea of settling down and getting married for social & financial reasons. I feel sorry for the girl who's marrying this douche bag. He will probably fool around again when the love is gone and the sex is less after marriage.

Answer 9

Any man with a brain attached to his shoulders would want to be able to provide his wife with the choice to choose whether or not she wants to work outside of the home. It doesn't matter if you hold a degree or not, but a man wants and should provide a comfortable lifestyle. In my opinion a man should at least do for you what your father did)housing, food, clothing) and then some, and if you had no father growing up than it's his Biblical, moral, and ethically responsibility to set the stage.

Answer 10

being financially stable does not insure that your relationship will last, but it does take a lot of pressure off of a new marriage. some people have a lot of debt that follows them into marriage. once you get married, that debt becomes your partners stress too. trying to get home loans, car loans, credit cards, anything can be a real hassle.