We are in our 40s and married 5 yrs .My son needed 4 dollars and I told him to ask my husband for it and get my husbands wallet that was in the other room and my husband shot back and said loud and firm dont touch that wallet! I said what do you mean dont touch your wallet and he said I dont get in yours! Well I was shocked and felt very hurt and embarressed in front of my son he is 20 and he siad whoa! I still am shocked and hurt ! This is the first time I ever asked for money and going to touch his wallet! What do u think?Am I valid on feeling bad?
2006-11-11 03:47:27 · 20 answers · asked by jessy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Most of the answers here are absolutely ridiculous. What is with the he deserves his privacy bull. There are no secrets in marriage! Why would he act like that? It's rude, mean, and obnoxious! I go into my husbands wallet and I have never been yelled at. He goes into my purse. This man is not a stranger. Woman should not be afraid of their husbands reaction to something so trivial. He may or may not being hiding something in there. I'm not going to just assume he is. What is his relationship with your son? Does he like him or not like him. Maybe this had nothing to do with you at all. Maybe he just has something against your son which isn't good either. And for the person who said it is time for this 20 year old to get a job. Shut up! Another obnoxious person acting as if you know these people and their situation. Even working people need to borrow a few bucks here and there. How do you know he didn't just forget his wallet at home or that he wasn't getting his paycheck the next day?! Talk to your husband and first find out why he reacted that way. You won't know what to do about it until you know why it happened. Also, make sure he knows not to disrespect you in front of your son like that. He would not appreciate it if it had been the other way around. Take care of yourself and always remember you deserve respect so demand it!
2006-11-11 04:18:33 · answer #1 · answered by Jules 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO you shouldn't have sent him for the wallet. Yes ask the husband and let the husband get the wallet himself. I am sure you would of done the same thing if it was the other way around. I guess it is time the 20 year old to get a job and make his own money. I also think you need to tell your husband you didn't think he would of minded but that you are sorry and it won't happen again. Good luck.
2006-11-11 11:59:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
The reaction sounds strange to me also. He may be hiding something in his wallet. In an open marriage, you should be able to look in the other person's wallet/ purse. There should be nothing to hide or feel secretive about.
I would talk with him when he is more calm and ask him his reasons for not letting you touch his wallet other than him not touching his purse.
2006-11-11 12:02:44 · answer #3 · answered by Stareyes 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Women have purses, men have wallets. No matter how long you have been married, privacy and personal space are important issues that need to be respected both ways. Dont open each other's mail, dont go in their wallets or purses. Ask first, it shows respect. When things cool down, apologize and talk about it.
2006-11-11 12:17:41 · answer #4 · answered by Jerry W 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yea, I feel for you on this one. Does your husband have mood swing issues? Was he having a particularly bad day or week? I think it would be best to have a face to face with him. I ordinarily do not go into my wife's wallet without asking. Do you have a rule about him not touching your wallet? I am in my 3rd year of marriage. Hats off to you..you have been doing it for five years. I have a lot to learn about marriage. Feel free to email me. Take care..
2006-11-11 11:54:26 · answer #5 · answered by James R 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow thats wow I have to say your in you40's and he is yelling at you like that to not touch is wallet, man my dad use to do that to me, your not a child and he does not have the right to yell at you like a child, and if he does not want you touching his wallet then dont touch it, but if you have an issue that he holds the money, tell him due to not being able to touch his personal things you want half of the money once bills are paid and groceries are baught so this way you do not have to ask for the money, and the next time you see him touching something that belongs to you make sure he hears you saying not to touch, mind you that you would be playing kids games here but tell him you want half of whats left of the money so that this way your not touching any of his personal items!
2006-11-11 11:53:20 · answer #6 · answered by Sassy H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nobody gets in my purse. not my husband(ex now) not my kids nobody thats the only thing in this world i consider my own not that there is anything in there that i wouldnt give or show anyone its just that it belongs to me and i never got into my ex husbands wallet a form of respect i think
2006-11-11 20:50:49 · answer #7 · answered by froggie47469 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is hiding something in there from you! You had better do some checking later on! That is bull crap...maybe you should have asked first, but that was no reason to blow up on you like that! After all, he is your husband! You should be able to get in there if you need to......So sorry he yelled at you for this....
2006-11-11 11:58:41 · answer #8 · answered by Shari 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say, but I believe he is hiding something! That was very rude of him esp in front of your son. Of course you are valid in feeling bad after 5 years of marriage. Talk to him about it, maybe he didn't realize, how much it offended you.
2006-11-11 11:57:58 · answer #9 · answered by Yasmin76 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would pull him up on this, and ask him what is the problem, what is so important about his wallet, that he does not want you to see? Tell him it upset you, how he yelled at you, in front of your son. Say what is going on, Please tell me!
2006-11-11 12:11:05 · answer #10 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋