Questions for women who have worked with their husband in a family business, Advice please?

Question

My husband and I are planning on taking over his family business within the next year. (It's a real estate develpment and golf course combined) We've talked about me taking over much of the admin. responsibilities like the books, and I'm also a real estate broker. My husband already handles the golf course and club house. I'm looking for advice from other couples who work together and how they handle it. What are your biggest challenges, and is it a good or bad influence on your marriage? Also, how the husband being "the boss" in the office but an equal at home works for you.

Answer 1

I have worked with my hubby both as employees in a small team for a company (where we met), and have continued to work with him off and on over the years and we today are working together at an office plus working on a small business together.

For us it is wonderful to be working together 'cause we get along so well and our skills compliment each other perfectly business wise - him in the behind the scenes and me in front of the clients. At home is no different but I admit that my hubby is very easy to get along with and this may be the reason.

My advice for you is that if you feel like you need to get away from him for a few hours then tell him you are going shopping/movies with a girlfriend/for a walk. My other best advice is try very hard not to bring 'work' home with you - both papers and issues. If you have a problem at work then discuss it and resolve it then and there - dont wait until you are both in bed about to fall asleep. Otherwise it will feel like you never get away from the 'office'.

But with the two of you pulling in the same direction it can only help to get you there quicker - good luck!

Answer 2

Being male, you didn't ask my advice on this, but I question this presumption of male equality at home thing. Judging on the decor in most homes I visit, the males are mere "guests" in most homes, and are boss of little more than the TV remote.

Now, as far as working together. Who is the boss at work doesn't have to be a single answer. One can be in charge of some aspects, another can be in charge of others. It doesn't have to be a strict hierarchy, and it doesn't have to be equal.

What you DO have to have is a relationship that allows each to be in control of those areas that they are best suited between the two to control, but also recognize that the other deserves to be informed. In other words, if you run the admin part, I assume that means the checkbook. He's entitled to know the cash position, and where the money goes. If he's doing the marketing, you're entitled to express an opinion about the company logo if you think it is distasteful and will discourage new business.

Answer 3

There are pros and cons, and a lot would depend on if the two of you understand business and personal life can be separate. From how you phrase your question, it's already obvious that you're not content with your husband being "the boss" at work as you believe both of you should be equal, at all times. Unless both of you can agree on what each of your functions are and respect the arrangement, it could create conflicts. Also, being with someone 24/7 could be a challenge for some couples.

On the other hand, it's so nice when you can be with your husband 24/7, until....., and since you already know him so well, you don't feel the burden of having to adjust to "strangers".

Answer 4

well this is what i had to get into my husbands head was that we are married and are considered as 1. Therefore we are both equal since since he does half and i do half of the business.. the biggest challenge is him seeing me as an equal to him both on the job and at home.. And see u both put in a days work, u then go home, cook clean, take care of the kids if any and then he comes home, his day stops.. Well see thats where i had to stop, after a while of me living mad everyday, and him having to do it all, it finally soaked in his head that we are equal and that we both was in this business together, even tho mine was more office, being in the cool, warm, dry sitting alot, and his out on the job, having to do the job, cold, beamin down hot sun, what ever it be, but he finally realized, that it couldnt work without the both of us, and that our jobs was actually equal to our gender, cause the office wasnt what he thought, and after he had to do the office for a few months, he was glad to see me back in the office with the books, payroll, accounts rec,&accounts pay, and etc.., and he loved being back out , cause he didnt feel confined being free to roam (SO TO SPEAK).. bELIEVE ME, I HAD A MESS TO STRAIGHTEN UP AFTER HE HAD THE BOOKS FOR A FEW MONTHS, BUT IT ALL EVENTUALLY WORKED(S) OUT.. The man will get the big head for a while, but when its all on him, it breaks them down pretty quick... then they are happy to see their partner that they took for better for worse,sickness,health, til death do us part.. I REALLY STRESSED THIS VERSE AND I STAND BY IT STRONG TOO: GENESIS 2:24 Therefore shall A MAN LEAVE HIS FATHER AND HIS MOTHER, and shall CLEAVE UNTO HIS WIFE: and THEY Shall BE ONE FLESH... SO AS LONG AS YOU BOTH UNDERSTAND THIS VERSE COMPLETELY YOU GUYS WILL BE FINE.. CAUSE THIS VERSE IS SAYING THAT YOU TWO ARE MADE INTO ONE PERSON IN GOD, THEREFORE U R NOT OVER HIM, AND HE IS NOT OVER U.. SO NO MATTER WHAT U BOTH R TAKING ON THE FAMILY BUSINESS, SO U BOTH ARE EQUAL.. NOW IT WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF YOU BOTH WORKED IN A FACTORY AND HE WAS THE BOSS AND SAY YOU WORKED ON THE LINE, THEN NOW HE WOULD HAVE TO BE A BOSS OVER YOU.. BUT NOT WITH YOU BOTH TAKING IT OVER TOGETHER... THAT WAS THE ONLY PROBLEM FOR MY HUSBAND AND ME.. I WISH YOU BOTH THE BEST OF LUCK..