How do I become more sociable?

Question

I'm a very shy person. I used to be more outgoing, but I have always been shy. My parents and teachers have always gotten mad at me for being shy and tell me to just snap out of it.

This summer I was suicidal. Since then I’m shyer and I don’t like talking to anyone... I’m more withdrawn and I just don’t care. Talking seems so pointless.

I want to be more sociable but I just stay quiet because it’s easy to do… And when I talk, I talk too quiet and everyone asks me to speak up.

Answer 1

Given what your other post said, it is no surprise you are withdrawn.

You really need to get some counseling honey. You are in a very bad environment with your parents. Save yourself and your siblings by contacting Child Protective Services or a relative that will really help you by getting you out of that home.

When I was living with my parents in a crazy environment, I felt the same way, except I went the opposite way, I was really outgoing, too trusting, but sad and depressed inside.

If you are in high school, seek out a counselor and discuss all of this. Keep speaking out, this is not good that you and your siblings are living in an uncaring environment.

I am here for you if you want to email me.

Answer 2

Well I was never suicidal or anything but I can relate to you completely with the other things. I'm a naturally shy person and quiet but I've learned that sometimes you just have to ask yourself questions and figure out why exactly it is that you're so shy. For example, I was afraid of saying something stupid in front of the class, or in front of more outgoing people. And that's normal. Take it step by step. Don't expect to become more sociable in one day. There are certain people that it's easier to be sociable with. And you'll find those kind of people. Small talk is the easiest when you're barely starting and then you can work your way up. If you're quiet, people are going to have to respect that and realize that that's just the way you are. But you have to proud that it's part of you character. =) There are some occassions when it's better not to talk. And that's the advantage we have...
Um...you can email me if you want so I can help you speak up. lol im in a play and the teacher is teaching me how to raise my voice so the whole audience can hear me. im the quietest one in the whole play. lol
so yeah...=) i hope it helped?

Answer 3

I'm shy, too.Try volunteering or working part time. Interacting with lots of people in a somewhat controlled environment helps you get used to different situations and different crowds. Plus people look to you to help them so it kind of builds your confidence and also you're learning, too.

Find a hobby and join a group in your neighborhood. Easier to meet people of same interest and you will be able to be yourself more.

Initially, it's all an act. Forcing yourself to greet people, start little chit chat. You may feel that it is pointless but you are letting yourself be more approachable and this is how you get to know people. Now, I kind of understand why people forces social behaviors of others. Because sometimes it feels as if a shy person is disrespecting them by not making eye contact or saying hello. They may feel that their efforts to make a connection is being ignored. When you're mad at someone, don't you give them the silent treatment?

It will get better, it really will. College was the best because you start fresh and there's always something going on somewhere, and I had the luxury of also being away from controlling family and was lucky to get roommates who all clicked. Independence I think was key for my happiness, but I'm still shy.

Best wishes to you. Keep your head up. Hope you find the happiness you seek.

Answer 4

I am the same way - seriously, when I moved to my new high school, I ate my lunch in the bathroom so I wouldn't have to talk to other people and it was a year in that school before I made any friends. Honestly, what helped me were drama classes. Getting up and speaking someone else's words and feelings helped break me out of the shell I had around me. I am still shy, but I am able to hide it now and work around it.

Answer 5

i have the same problem too..moving to another school in senior year was really lonely since everyone there was close and already formed their groups. i was very lonely within that year, and after that i found myself not used to social interaction anymore...im already in college where people are more open, and im trying to be sociable although i find myslef unable to say anything in the groups i hang out with...i still feel lonely, consequently...

it really is hard, but i suggest you find ppl who will accept your quietness...also, join clubs or organizations...be kind to yourself...first appreciate who you are, your strenghts and talents , then go from there....

Answer 6

turn off your workstation. %. a interest that contains some diploma of interaction, get good at it, and without notice you have gotten friends with an common interest. they're going to, over the years, become acquaintances. try a bar-backed league interest like darts or pool. worked for me. the biggest factor is get out of the abode! Its plenty greater rewarding to fulfill human beings in guy or woman.

Answer 7

-Take up a team sport that strongly encourages/supports a team mentality ie respect and support for every member.
-Buy Dr Thomas Richards tapes.
-Try to focus externally, rather than on your own inner thoughts and feelings ie cut away from this inner chaos. The more you focus on these negative thoughts the stronger they become, the more powerful and automatic the neurological anxiety pathways become.

Answer 8

you could try introducing yourself to one person and they'll have friends who'll get used to you being around and then they'll ask a couple of questions and you'll be scared at first but then you'll be OK after a while

Answer 9

read and travel