If that wasnt devastating enough for me, reading his 'profile', I noted he listed his marital status as...separated!!!
This has left me gutted (to the point I cant tell if Im over- or under-reacting). I havent been able to approach him on this...still shell shocked).
We've argued numerous times about his chatting online which consists on explicit sex talk with women who send XXX rated photos of themselves.
When we got our computers we discussed the topic of chat rooms - a Pandora's Box best left closed fearing the (unknown at the time) potential harm that could manifest.
We've been married 6 years and are great friends. We spend alot of time together, and always socialise together - because we enjoy each others company...
Or did?
I want to save my marriage. And ask is anyone has similar story, what do they suggest. Would be curious to hear from those who identify with spouse's position and how they overcame cybersex addiction.
2006-11-11 02:36:16 · 12 answers · asked by daisy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you wanting to save your marriage isn't enough.you say you and he are great friends yet he disrespects you as his woman by socializing with other women via the web.you can call this a sex addiction if you want and deal with it in a medical way I guess,but I find that when a mate becomes sneaky and does things that disturb you then big things are wrong.you can't change him or stop him from doing what he likes to do .he may lie to cover up,but you can't stop him from being who he is at this time.the decisions that you need to make are your decisions,because he has made his choices when logs on. what do you want to do? are you accepting of his behavior? can you deal with what he does?can you discuss this openly and still allow him his web experiences ? if not then I am afraid it's over. you either have to accept the people you say you love and who say they love you as they are or not.he may get over this thing and again he may get more involved and want more,you have a decision to make. If he goes further will he be honest?will you still want him ?I see all the real decisions to be yours and what you'll accept in your life.
2006-11-11 02:50:25 · answer #1 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2006-11-13 03:51:21 · answer #2 · answered by break_n_free 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I recently separated from my husband for the exact same thing, we were married for 6 yrs about a year into the marriage I found out that he was putting profiles on dating sites and also viewing porn online, he was chatting with other women and emailing, his status was divorced on all those websites, well I stayed and we tried councelling, and I would find out again and again that he continued to do this, well a month ago I found out yet again, it was the last straw, I left and will not go back, to me it is cheating.
He has a serious problem with internet porn and is seeking councelling for it, but the damage has been done to the relationship and it is not going to work out.
I am so relieved that I finally made the decision to leave, I am so much happier now, please dont wait as long as I did to do something about this issue, confront him with what you know now, waiting is just stressing you out. See what he has to say about it.
2006-11-11 02:52:36 · answer #3 · answered by mrsturner2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get up the guts and talk with him about how much this is hurting you and that it has got to stop. He is addicted to this porn stuff on the computer. There are a big percentage of men that go thru this. He needs to go and get some help with this addiction if it is too hard to break himself. You may seek counsel for your marriage. Something is oviously going on in your marriage that would steer him towards this. I wish you the best.
2006-11-11 02:42:30 · answer #4 · answered by hehmommy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you need to confront him, you need to find out where his head is at, of course he is going to say he does not know, why he is doing it. This cybersex addiction, is common now days, He needs counseling, if he wants to save his marriage, he cannot control it on his own, he may say he is going to stop, but he will be right back, doing the same thing, I am hoping you can talk to him about getting help. that is the only way he is going to fight this. And you have to be firm with him, don't sell your self short, you deserve better, and you have to demand he respects you, because what he is doing, he is not respecting you. I hope you can work on saving your marriage!
2006-11-11 02:50:14 · answer #5 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MSN recently did a survey of men in on-line personals websites. One in five guys say they have claimed to be single when they're not. While over half of the participants were married, that hasn't stopped them from actively pursuing sexual contact online. At least 29 percent of married men say they go online intending to cheat using the "separated" profile.
There you have it.
I would be more concerned with why your husband needs to find someone new rather than how to stop it.
Time to talk about it.
2006-11-11 02:48:55 · answer #6 · answered by Angela 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hes looking for excitement,try wowing him with sexy lingerie and start going on dates,make him fell in love with you again,might tkae some work but hes oviously in need of a get off the pc,this can be very harmful and he hasn`t a clue who hes tlakign to,could be men dressed in drag
2006-11-11 02:41:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really think he has a cyber sex addiction, he needs help like an other addict would. i would suggest counseling for you both. you are going to have to confront him on what you found. he might just be seeking out the attention of other with no intention of cheating, but then again you never know. whatever his intentions are they need to be addressed asap.
2006-11-11 02:47:26 · answer #8 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If something is happening to me its my fault not other concerned person.
Dont lost your patience and be relaxed.
Talk with him more what he is interested.
Try out different thing, in everything.
Make him to understand your love.
It may be your bedroom problem,so try to have different flavor.
Generally Men will have this kind of attitude towards other women mostly.
2006-11-11 02:53:58 · answer #9 · answered by Mr.K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's having a mid-life crisis. Have you been to a counselor?
2006-11-11 02:57:57 · answer #10 · answered by bad_bob_69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋