i've been looking for my ex-lesbian lover for like about a year....well i found her on myspace .......this was a pretty nasty break-up, i mean it got really ugly towards the end......she stole from me and she even did identity theft .......she caused me to loss my license...... we even physically fought.........she's the reason why i don't believe i'll ever be in a serious relationship with a woman ever again......she was also my first.....should i contact her to get closure or not? maybe we'll be better as friends........what do u guys think?
2006-11-11 02:14:15 · 8 answers · asked by non-curious 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I feel you already no the answer to your own question, but if your just curious i would talk with her but i wouldn't take it any further, remember people don't change situations do. Good luck
2006-11-11 02:19:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it were me, I wouldn't contact her. What makes you think she'll act any differently now? An abuser rarely makes changes. I'd chalk the whole relationship up to a nightmarish experience and move on, both in your head and your heart.
I know it's hard to do, esp. when you want closure. I kind of doubt tho that you'll get the type of responses from her that maybe you are hoping for. Better to let it all go once and for all, move on, and find someone new who will treat you with the respect and kindness you deserve.
Myst
2006-11-11 10:24:56 · answer #2 · answered by Myst 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After someone does that sort of damage to you emotionally and financially and physically what sort of closure do you think you would be able to get, she may not want to talk or even see you, she may be to embarrassed or ashamed by her past actions, Or if you go see her - what if she starts throwing a fit and wants to argue,, then a neighbor calls police and you and her been fighting,, its no fun going to jail especially when you can tell yourself leave well enough alone and she stay out of your life, and avoid any future events like the past from recurrence, and you wont get that overwhelming burning desire to at least kick her As* once for all the crap she put you thru, Somethings are better left alone,, I would anyway,, I would want to beat their *** for what they did to me,, so I say stay away, write it off as a lesson in life,
2006-11-11 11:21:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know how tempting it is to seek closure. But in some cases, it's best to let sleeping dogs lie. (Pun intended.) A person who put you through all that as a lover would be a pretty bad friend as well. As tempting as contacting her would be, leave her alone. It's for the best.
2006-11-11 10:23:04 · answer #4 · answered by Avie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Closure is a good thing, but considering all she pulled I don't think it's good to even be friends with her. Contact her, say what you need to say and walk out of her life forever. Never say never. Don't give all women up because of one bad experience. Just be more careful next time and follow your instincts with people.
2006-11-11 11:58:44 · answer #5 · answered by pinkrosegreeneyes bluerose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why in the world would you want to get back into that situation again? Friends or whatever?
If she's been hiding from you for almost a year and you have been trying to track her down the entire time, she clearly has moved on. Maybe you should too.
2006-11-11 10:20:15 · answer #6 · answered by DontPanic 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No offense but it sounds like you should stay away. Of course u obviously know that but its not what you want.
2006-11-11 11:04:37 · answer #7 · answered by rostov 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave it alone. U dont need that drama.
2006-11-11 12:17:24 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋