im 17 and pregant...is this embarassing?

Question

im 17 and im pregnant. i REALLy dont want to abort but im not sure if i can handle it. i talked to a couple of people and they said i may be hard but i have to stand up to the plate and take responsibility....maybe in time my mind will change...im only a month pregnant. im confused and i dont know what to do...help

Answer 1

First let me say blah blah blah to all of those saying you should abort and you won't be able to take care of a baby; they obviously have never been in the situation so they know NOTHING about it. I will be 21 next month and have a 2 1/2 year old and a 1 1/2 year old. I got pregnant with my oldest when I was 17. I also got pregnant with both of my children on birth control. You have many options out there. You can give the baby up for adoption of keep the child to raise yourself. I'm not for abortion so sorry I can't recomend it. I was able to finish high school with a 4.0. I have taken some of the college classes I need to become a registered nurse. Now is time for you to take on responsibility. It's not easy being a teen parent but then again it's not easy being a parent at any age. My girls have everything they could want and need. They have a loving mother and father, a nice place to live, and way too many clothes and toys. There is also breakfast, lunch and dinner on the table everyday. I wasn't happy about getting pregnant at first but they changed in time. The first time I heard my daughter's heartbeat was amazing. The first time I held her in my arms was breathtaking. You CAN do it if you really want to. My mom got pregnant with me when she was 17. I'm here and alive. I never did without when I was growing up. She and my father were married 16 years. I always had a loving mom that was there for me. One of the bigs things you will have to do now is put yourself last. The baby comes first. There are times when I get my paycheck that I would love to buy myself an exspensive Coach purse. I change my mind when I see a couple of adorable outfits that my girls would love. Good luck to you and if you need anything feel free to email me.

Answer 2

There are alternatives to having an abortion. You could have your child adopted to a nice family - this would probably mean losing your child, and not seeing the child again, but the positive of that would be knowing that you're giving the child a chance of having a better than it would with you.

An abortion is a big thing - it affects you for the rest of your life, and it is a difficult decision to make.

At the end of the day though, it's your body so you have to make the decision on what to do with this child. Unfortunately you also have a short amount of time to decide - I think abortions are legal until the foetus is 3 months or so? Not sure on that one.

I would suggest you go and talk over your options with your doctor - they can help list the options available to you, and get you in touch with the right people to help make those decisions, but at the end of the day the final decision is yours.

Answer 3

If you really don't want to abort, then don't. If you choose not to abort you will handle it.--although it is scary at first.

There are agencies set up to help young people handle this situation. (depending on where you live they may be different)

There is always adoption, sometimes you may stay in touch with the the adoptive parents. If you decide to keep the baby it will be hard. (I have done it and I was also a teen) It does not end your life but it does feel that way sometimes--there are also a lot of special, magical moments that make up for it.

You should get honest information concerning all the possible choices to determine what is right for you. Beware of clinics who tell you of only one way out. (whether it is keeping it or abortion--it should only be your choice because it will be you living with the decision after)

You are strong enough to handle anything. Don't let that determine your choice. Look at what you want to do if nobody could tell you what to do. Think of how you would feel after each option. When you have a decision don't listen to anyone tell you it's the wrong one.
Have faith in yourself.

I hope everything goes well.

Answer 4

Since you have already had 2 abortions you should consider the fact that if you keep doing it you may never be able to have children again. This is a mistake you keep making. Why are you not on birth control? Even if you are not ready you cannot just end another life. Put this baby up for adoption to a couple who are financially and emotionally ready to be parents or make some serious adjustments to your thinking and living arrangements and be the best mother you can be. You are so young- the best thing you can do for yourself and your baby is to finish your education. I got pregnant at 17- I kept my son. He is now 10 and I can't imagine my life without him. I had friends who had babies about the same time and they gave them away to the father or their moms to raise and their kids barely know them. You can't change your mind once you decide to do it. This baby is depending on you and nothing else in the world matters. You can take care of this baby and be a good mother if you put your mind to it but you cannot be wishy washy with this little life. Make a choice and stick with it. You have your boyfriends support and you parents will come around. Make a choice and be firm about your decision. After you have this baby get on some long term birth control- like and I.U.D.- Good Luck.

Answer 5

It is always hard and confusing when you have an unplanned pregnancy. I would strongly say no to the abortion. It is not wise to make such a big decision when you are confused. Plus, the abortion is something you will remember and carry with you for the rest of your life. There is always adoption.
I was pregnant at the same age. I managed to go to finish school and have a baby. Even though it was hard, it was the best decision I ever made. I have 3 children and the first few months were always confusing for me...until I heard the heartbeat and realized it was not just about me anymore. At that point it usually becomes "real" and you realize just how beautiful the miracle of life is.
I wish you luck and hope that you make the decision that is best for you and your baby.

Answer 6

First of all, you don't necessarily have to do what others tell you. The best decision you can make is one that you reach by yourself based on what you think & feel, not what everyone else forces upon you.

It would be best to talk to a counsellor, GP or nurse as they will be able to explain your options to you fully. You don't have to have an abortion, there's always adoption to consider.

If you don't feel you can handle it, you may be right, trust your own instincts on the matter. The people who are telling you to take responsibility don't have your best interests at heart. You are still young, you still have a lot of things to see & do before you settle down with children & I think it would be a shame for you not to experience those things.

Plus, think of how it could be with a child. Would you really be able to care for it properly? Do you have necessary funds to support a child & provide it with everything it needs? What about when you want to go out? You can't just leave a child, who would look after it?

There are so many things to consider, you have to make sure the decision is right for you. What if, in time, you don't change your mind? You've got to think really hard about that, whatever you decide because either is a life long decision & I wouldn't want you or anyone to regret such an important decision.

Definitely talk to someone more informed who will give you good, unjudgemental advice & not try to influence your decision based on their needs. Its crucial you make your own decision & its right for you, I really can't stress that enough.

If you decide abortion is right for you don't let anyone make you feel bad about that decision. Its your choice & no-one has the right to tell you if your decisions are right or wrong, that is for you, and you only, to decide. Its not right for everybody but it might be right for you.

If you decide to have this baby, think about this thoroughly, this is another life you will be responsible for. Are you up to the challenge? When that baby is born you will need to take care of all of its needs & it will rely on no-one else but you to do that, if you make the committment you've got to be mature & stand by that decision & carry it out the very best you can.

You need to see a professional, they will discuss your options & won't judge you, and neither will I but I urge you not to take this lightly & to thoroughly think through your options.

Best wishes for the future.....x

Answer 7

In the end only you can and should make the best decision for you and your child.

I am Prolife, myself, and urge you to accept a unique opportunity of being a mother. It isn't easy, but nowadays many mothers are single and young.

There are many ways to get additional support, like Church groups, non-profits, even our silly government, just look around.
Don't forget your friends and family.

Many men, especially the good ones, aren't afraid to date single mothers. So it is doubtful that this will ruin your life.

I used to think abortions were okay until my older sister suddenly burst into tears when I told her I thought it was odd that she was old enough to be my mother (Some would cry over that alone). Turns out, she had an abortion around the time I was born, and has never forgiven herself for it (not all women feel this way just to be fair). When she later married and struggled to have a child (It took 12 years). She felt God was punishing her (I don't think he was) and she didn't even believe in God, but just the notion that he might drove her crazy.

She now has two beautiful children, but always wonders about that little girl that could have been.

BTW, it was a group of ultra-conservative pro-lifers who scared her into having an abortion!!!
They told her she'd have to give up all her dreams and school and focus on the baby (not true!).

And remember, Love makes better children than money!

Answer 8

I understand your confusion; a few moments of pleasure and now an eternity of responsiility.

You need counseling from people that understand the options.

Yeah, you could abort, problem solved...how will you feel 10 years from now...guilty?

Yeah you could give the baby for adoption...same question, but you know the baby is living the best life you could offer

YEah, youu can keep and raise them. But can you? DO you have help? You are giving up your young life.

Sure it is embarassing, but you're past that now. You have decisions.

FWIW, I have raised three adoptive children who are relatively happy and successful. Would they have been in their original homes? I doubt it.. One has a contact with the birth mother the others chose not to. So I am partial to that method. It seems to be the best for all and these days, you may be able to retain or negotiate visitation rights...

Choose, but choose wisely and aftr counseling and consideration. Good luck and welcome to adulthood.

Answer 9

you should find a neutral councilor to talk to. if you really don't want an abortion you probably should not have one. women who are not comfortable 100% with the idea tend to regret it or feel guilt afterwords. its a huge choice so if your not 100% then its probably not for you. their is adoption or taking care of the child yourself. there is a great deal of help out there for young teen mother both financial and support groups. you should go talk to some one, a doctor or a councilor. you probably want to avoid the christian run pregnancy crisis centers as they often try to scar people into not having abortions and scar them into doing what they want. even though you seem to have made your mind up about this issue you should not be presented a one sided sometimes scary view..one that you probably don't even need or want at this point since its not your intention. i'd say start at a doctors office and ask them to point you in the direction of a counciler.

Answer 10

If you are really serious about keeping the baby a lot of work is going to go into it. You are going to need to have a stable job, home, and life to support the baby. You need to be sure that you can provide for the baby. It will have doctor's, dentist's, and god knows what else appointments. There will be a lot of responsibility if you want to keep it. But you could always put it up for adoption, because there are many people who have everything for a baby they just can't conceive. I hope you make a good decision and good luck!