i keep saying to myself i carn,t, i carn,t lose weight carn,t do my course work, i actually believe these things and therefore do not spend time trying. how do i change this. I was criticsized alot growing up. and lacked confidance in mhy abilities, but i am older now but still keep doing this. i want to achieve and not fail.
2006-11-11 00:31:07 · 14 answers · asked by guysmithdenise 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Because you were critisised so much as a child this has made you a very negative person with little self worth. Sadly, only you can really change the way you are, you need to tell yourself every day, I CAN, I WILL and I AM GOING TO SUCCEED. I believe that you can do it, have faith in yourself. I wish you all the best wishes possible.
2006-11-11 03:22:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, guess what? You're half way there! You know you keep saying 'I can't do this - I can't do that etc' So change the way you act upon this attitude. The next thing you find yourself saying ' I can't...' to, go ahead and do it! Get yourself a good friend who you can be accountable to and who will encourage you and go ahead and do it! Don't be put off by pass failures because each new event is a new start completely unrelated to previous attempts. If you're not feeling confident then start off with little tasks such as cooking a new dish for you and a friend or learning how to master a game, or something. However, lots of things in life require perseverence so stick with your tasks and be confident in what you do. You can do more than you think if you put your mind to it! Best wishes xo
2006-11-11 00:58:19 · answer #2 · answered by blue_butterfly 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Behaviour can be described as circular, you will in you life have formed heuristics (rules to behave) to help you deal with your life. Sometimes the pattern of behaviour is counter productive and is very hard to break.
We rely heavily on our past, if you have encountered trouble before doing the things you are having trouble doing now and had negative comments about it then this will directly affect your ability to do things now.
The barriers of ‘I can’t do something’ are self imposed. There is no other reason you can’t do something other than you don’t believe you can. This is known as self-efficacy, you believe you will behave a certain way, so you do.
One way you can try and break this is to forget what has happened previously, you past what people have said. The past is not important when you do things, just because it so thing happened like that before doesn’t mean it always will.
Try to realise the that the only thing that holds you back is you, every pattern of behaviour can be broken. Try to make the things you do fun. Hope that helps
2006-11-11 00:46:12 · answer #3 · answered by stonedsmartninja 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't give up.
You can lose weight, real easy, by eating six small meals a day.
It keeps your blood sugar even, and keeps you from craving junk food : )
Keep snack bars and maybe slim fast? or juice/water around( for a quick meal, when your on the go ), your biggest meal of the day should be in the morning.
Drink water, number 1 cause of day time fatigue is lack a water, your body only absorbs 6-8 oz every 15 min, so you don't have to drink it all at once. (I try to drink 4 (16oz) water bottles a day)
This diet should help you concentrate on your course work, because your body will be feeling better : )
2006-11-11 01:07:05 · answer #4 · answered by lilith 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Positive influences and role models. Self confidence. Faith.
Positive influences: Someone you love who believes in you can inspire you to do something you wouldn't otherwise attempt. Support can carry you through hard times.
Self confidence: With one small victory comes the prospect of another. If you start to believe in yourself, if you start succeeding, then you have it in you to go another step. I was failing maths at the start of the year, semester average of 48%. I got a tutor, and although he didn't teach all that much, he made me understand what I already knew, and my next test was somewhere in the 70's. That shot my confidence, and I've been improving ever since. I'm looking forward to the finals.
Faith: If you believe, despite whatever reason there is not to believe, that you can do it, the fact of the matter is that there is a chance you can. If you give up hope, you give up success. At least believe in the possibility, and know you can do it deep down, and your body will respond to your mental attitude and you will succeed.
I also suggest a good mantra. A mantra is a phrase or saying that you chant to yourself every now and then, even in your head, so you can believe it. Just think of something inspirational- even as simple as the "I can do it" train.
If it counts for anything, I know that you have it in you to be who you want to be. You just have to decide who that is, and go for it with all your heart.
2006-11-11 00:45:54 · answer #5 · answered by Link 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You obviously have low self esteem, whoever continually criticised you when you were young, was very unkind and did a lot of damage to you. As far as weight loss is concerned, that is easy, go to weight-watchers because they give you the support and encouragement you need. Course work is different because it does usually have to be done alone. Talk to your tutor, tell them exactly what you have said here, this way he/she will know that you need to have extra encouragement until you get more confidence, if you don`t tell them they will not know about the problem.Try to keep telling yourself that you are able to do this work and with ease and that you will get good marks. If you think you will fail you usually do.So if you really think this then start pretending! Pretend you can do it, pretend you have bags of confidence and before you can shout" I am slim and beautiful and clever" you really will be!! Don`t give up,get help. Good Luck to you.
2006-11-11 00:55:46 · answer #6 · answered by Social Science Lady 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its all about self belief. If you set yourself up to fail before you've even started you've got no chance. I think you need to draw a line under all the critcism you received growing up. Only you know what you're really like. I believe from reading what you've written underneath it all you really do feel that you have the ability to achieve what you want. You must believe in yourself. Think positive, these things are not easy but they can be done if you are determined enough. You can do it.
2006-11-11 00:41:23 · answer #7 · answered by G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do not kill your self. existence can consistently get greater effective. Get a job first and get money for faculty. regardless of in case you artwork someplace much less costly like a cashier for a save. Then circulate to the London music Academy and pursue your aims. you're able to make acquaintances in college and at artwork, yet on no account provide up! good good fortune mutually with your aims!
2016-11-23 15:27:40 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
probably cos you can't be bothered. set yourself small achievable, short-term goals such as, "by the end of the week, i'm going to have been to the swimming pool once", or whatever it is. if you make a vague unspecific goal with no time - limit, then it's more difficult to stick to anything
2006-11-11 02:13:20 · answer #9 · answered by staffbull 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
actually u have no confidence and u dont want to do them by heart . u should do yoga and concentration exercises .
believe in me i have solved a lot of such cases .
if u feel need of me just email me at
sam_citymax@rediffmail.com
2006-11-11 00:55:38 · answer #10 · answered by sam_indiakasuperstar 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋