I just cant seem to get it together?

Question

I am 52 years old , I started out 30 ago in a HI tech printing job ( laser color seprations) I was a gifted !! I could do no wrong I Had job offers of 100K ( back in the 80's and I was in my 30's) I had the world in my Hands!!!!! House ( paid for), Wife 3 small Girls and a great job with a large company.
Well in the 90's printing went Postscript and I lost my job! So I started a small printing company of my own and did just ok But after 9/11 and the internet The printing industry was DOA.
Now I am 52 and started a small Handyman Business and it seemed like it would be ok . However now after two years it has slowed down and now I am at wits end. I have gone from 100k to cleaning out garages for 150.00 per day. I am so Dam Depressed that I feel like I cant move and More. I have bills coming in and dont even fell like working. My Wife leaves for work and I just sneek to the park and sit and think..... I dont know what to do? ...

Answer 1

It sounds to me as if you are suffering from depression and may need a medical intervention. It could be situational depresssion which means if your situation improves, you will start to feel better or it could be major depression whcih means you may need a medication to help you. I'm not a big proponent of medication intervention however in your case I would go to the doctor and get a referral to a mental health facility for screening and possible treatment. If you do have major depression, you need help before you can really begin to make changes in your life. If you can and if you believe she will be receptive, explain the situation to your wife so she is aware of how poorly you are feeling and also that you want to have a better life with her but need some assistance making that happen.

After you get treatment, then you can make some career decisions. Obviously you are well educated and were once very successful. sometimes you need a lucky break and sometimes you need to make things happen. Check with your local unemployment department and see if they have any programs to update your skills. They also have programs where you can go to school tuition free but I'm not sure of the criiteria that must be met. Look at the industries that have shortages in employees and check the ones you have an interest in. I know some are education, health care, eye technicians and loads of others to choose from. Maybe even a votech teaching job might be suitable if you like to teach/train kids. I don't know that you will be able to make a hundred thousand a year, but you will have a new career with a decent wage, new hope and hopefully will feel a purpose in life. In the meantime, maybe you could volunteer a little to help take the focus off your problems and raise your self esteem. I wish you much luck and health and happiness too.

Answer 2

I am also 52 and no longer a computer analyst making great dough. The economy has changed alot in the last 10 years. (NAFTA, Internet, global competition and a borderless world.)
In the US, it has shifted away from manufacturing and toward services. Kids with tradeschool certificates are outpacing 4 yr BS degrees.
Coming here is a great place to ask for advice, but what you need is a bit too personal. I do not mean personal in that it is a sensative subject, but the answers are going to be pretty deep in y our psyche.
The first thing you need to realize is that you really ARE depressed. The behavior of going to the park and doing nothing indicates clearly that your brain is being affected by your feelings. Fortunately, it is based on situational problems and not from some deep hidden pycho problem that started when you were a child. As long as your brain is affected by your feelings, it is impossible to think clearly and resolve your problems alone. Fortunately, there is help for that. Whatever the cause of the depression, there are several drugs available that can target it acurately. Happy pills like valium AINT IT!!! Neither is self medicating with booze. Don't expect a shrink to be giving you prozac on the first visit. OK, I'll go ahead and say it... you need therapy. And fast!! The longer you put off getting your head cleared, the foggier it will get and things will get worse. With a clear head you can resolve what to do with your career and get back to your original standard of living.
When I got laid off, I went back to school and am working to get an advanced degree in math because I love teaching. I still need a couple years to get into a position. In the mean time, I am working as an auto mechanic. I'm only getting by, but I have a plan, a path and a direction. And I'm not depressed any more.
You have the skills to be a handyman and experience with carpentry, plumbing and electrical wiring. The housing industry may have slowed along with the need for small home projects. But it is a wide open and very profitable field. If you set your sites a little higher, you can make millions. I designed a small house for my girl friend and took the parts list to Lowes for pricing. I was amazed at that the cost for all the lumber, sinks, lights, wire, concrete, siding and roofing. Amazed in a positive way. For a 1,800 sq foot house, I only need 32K. I offered 5 buds a deal to work on building it. (Free food, lodging in the trailer, keg of beer and 1000 for as long as needed to get blacked in and sheetrocked.) I can do the electrical and plumbing. They are anxious to help. What that means is that a person can build a big 3-2 house for less than 40K. We are looking for a lot!! On completion the house can be valued over 120K.
If you're 52, you have enough experience working with people to be a good manager. You will make much more money getting other people to do the work for you while you arange contracts.
But first.... go to the local mental health services and address the depression issue.

Answer 3

First off my answer is not going to be some nice i feel your pain answer, but have felt your pain And I know you need a kick in the back side.
You have won several times as a high etc printer,then as a business owner and in some people eyes as a handy man. The world is changing and fast and so we must adapt or it will pass us by and leave you in the dirt.
Figure out what you want to so take a career assessment test that might give you some direction then do it, it sound like what your are doing is sucking the life out of you so stop it. Go sit in the park with a pen and paper and make a plan.
The good part of this you are 52 and the kids can care for them self and the wife does work, so this is the time to risk and make it happen. there are many example of guy relay getting together once they hit there 50's.
So get out of your rut that is nothing more than a coffen with out ends. Now pull your head out and stop being a dead man walking,now is the time to put on the big boy paints and stop crying.
Best of Luck

Answer 4

You should probably take baby steps. Try to build up your stamina slowly, but keep going and don't stop. Maybe start with a small walk around the neighborhood. After walking for a few nights, walk a little longer. If you keep doing something after dinner/in the evening together, you'll get used to it and hopefully going out on the town will be easier. Perhaps a change in diet would help increase energy. Good luck!

Answer 5

If you are a religious man then I would say talk to your pastor about this. If not disregard that then. It seems like you are just down about things. Talk to someone about this. It doesn't really even matter who. Maybe your wife? Maybe a friend? Brother or sister? The point is this level of depression is not a good thing and it's not healthy. My mom has severe clinical depression and has to take medicne to counter it. See your doctor and see if he can help. It's probably not what you want to hear or the answer that you wanted. Sorry. Try to be happy with what you have and spend free time doing what you want to do. Also I know it's hard but I always tell my mom to try and think positive.

Answer 6

There is an old saying--if you cant run fall back and punt. (I think this has something to do w football), Right now, you are having a rough time and you need to take time to think on what you want to do. Ask yourself (1) what field would I like to work in--computer-nursing,etc. (2) how long would it take me to get trained in this field (3) is there a demand in my area for this kind of position You are still a young man and can with training get another good job. I read somewhere once that change of career because the job goes obsolete or has a hard economical position happens on the average of 3 times before a man retires. Looks like you are average. GO FOR IT. DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT TO DO AND THEN GO FOR IT.

Answer 7

As we get older we get to see what all the others before us went through. Change can be good...and change can suck. I know where you're coming from because my downsized job no longer exists.
It's like starting over. Personally I don't want a "career" anymore, I just want a job that pays bills.
Try a temp agency. You may fall into something related to what you did before, or a whole new field you never considered. Don't be too proud to not accept work. Good luck to ya!

Answer 8

Im sorry I probably havent got the answer for you, but i do feel for you. I went back to education when i was 35 to better myself, im doing a degree now and im due to qualify as a mental health nurse next year. It depends what you value in life, i think we all strive for a financial reward......but i suppose the most important thing is you still have your health, and have the scope to do what ever it is you put your mind 2. The loss of a social status, i can imagine is hard......appreciate what you have, because believe me theres a lot less fortunate people out there financially who may be percieved as having nothing.......but they have what sometimes what we all strive for happiness and love x

Answer 9

I think you need to talk to a professional person who can guide you in the right direction...I think your okay, but, your depressed and you might need some meds for a short time until you get yourself back..

It is very easy to go from rags to riches...but going from riches to rags is almost impossible...

not that you are in rags...its just a saying...you need to realize that really true happiness does not come from money..

good luck..& God Bless

Answer 10

sir if you want to have an extra income you can register here:

http://www.mylot.com/?ref=miyara...

You wont make a lot of money with this site but you get paid to participate online discussions without fronting the cost of signing up and placing your credit card.

Anyway hope it helps