wife refuses to go to my dads mass one year anniverery he passed away is she right?

Question

all the spouses are going with my brothers get she feels no need to go, as a husband i feel i would like her to be their for support.i can't force her to go i know. but it doesn't feel right with me.so what would you do if you were me??

Answer 1

There most be a reason. Ask her and find out if she feels rejected or was offended by someone. Its not natural for someone to refuse to go to her husband's dad mass. Talk to her, be kind and offer your support if she is hurt, or jealous or anxious. Try to 'negotiate" with her, alternatives like" coming back home fast or not staying at anyones house. (Just find out if that's the cause.)
And finally, if she strongly refuses to go, make up an excuse and tell them that she has a cold, but don't say anything that might affect her image among your family member.

Answer 2

Everyone grieves in a different way.
I know of many people that don't feel they need a ceremony to say that they love and miss someone.
Talk to her about it and find out the reasons why she doesn't want to go. If she has valid reasons, you can go to the ceremony and when people ask where she is, just tell them the truth, that your wife has different ways of telling your dad that she loves and misses him.
You might want to suggest that both of you do a little something in memory of your dad, so that you can share memories as a couple. Perhaps your wife would be more comfortable with something private, between the two of you. You can share that with her and still get the benefits of the ceremony with your other family members.
Good luck, I know how hard it is to lose a parent... God bless you

Answer 3

She should go with you for support but, was there something that ever happened to her in the family that may make her feel uneasy about going? There may be your answer. You might remind her that she has family and that the day may come when she would like to have your support which, i think you would give irregardless. Other than that, you cannot make her go, so go by yourself. There will be others there to help you.Has she lost her parents? Maybe she does not realize how painful it can be, Hope you get her to go.

Answer 4

You should go to the mass without her and be with your family. To me, it's as if she's making the statement that she's not a part of the family. She'll wish she had gone once everyone else inthe family starts giving her "the look" after this. Has she forgotten there is Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays coming up where she will see the same people?!

Answer 5

I am sorry for your loss. Why is she refusing to go? I think it's pretty poor of her not to go to something that is obviously important to you. I would be very hurt. Have you explained to her that you would like her to go, and that you could use her support? Don't base your argument on the fact that your brothers' spouses are going, but explain that it's bound to be an emotional day, and you would like her to attend with you.

Answer 6

Have you told her you would like her to go just because your fathers loss is something you still feel very deeply and with her by your side it makes it bearable. Going to this mass is something you need to do and you would love to have her by your side. Please don't tell her all the other wives are going so should you. That's a way to keep her home. However if she still refuses to go then you need a accept and respect her choice.

Answer 7

Wow, i'm so sorry to your loss and the stress you're dealing with. perhaps you're able to desire to talk on your in-regulations in guy or woman and are available up with a plan for them to have interplay with the youngsters it is delicate for them and the youngsters? perhaps they might call and confer with the youngsters on the telephone for starters? As for the birthday enjoying cards, i could take the toddler with the cardboard in yet another room and privately provide it to them removed from the accompanied infants. That way, the youngsters can a minimum of have some form of acknowledgment from their grandparents and it won't harm the accompanied toddler's thoughts. consistent with hazard family contributors counseling could income your finished family contributors? i could think of that would help you and your infants heal out of your loss and you're able to even have somebody to vent to on what's occurring. It sounds like the grandparents additionally desire counseling besides. dropping a toddler is the main painful feeling in the international. i'm hoping I helped answer a number of your questions. I desire you and your loved ones the appropriate.

Answer 8

You cannot make some one attend church services. And sure it would be nice if she were there for emotional support. try to talk and explain this to her. Does she attend church on a regular basis? If not this may be the issue, some do not want to go to Church at all and feel very uncomfortable in one. Good luck and God bless

Answer 9

How about taking someone else?

If your wife is playing 'power games' ... simply ignore them and take someone else with you. First talk to her of course, but speaking as a woman, I would loose respect for my husband if he were to just roll over and play dead on an issue like this. Tell her that she is being immature and needs to set aside whatever differences she may have with whatever and support you in your pain. I'd also tell her that if she cannot, you will take someone else with you ... who will.

That will either wake her dumbbunny butt up or ... not.

Either way ... my condolences to you in your loss.

Answer 10

Your farther is dead. One year anniversary and she doesn't want to go. Your culture might think that is okay hers might not. Sorry but your Dad is gone so move on and don't have a mass for him. Life goes on and so should you. I am with you wife on this.