Why do people expect to live happily ever after once they get married?

Question

I say people (obviously generalising) but know that not everyone does!

The Q relates therefore to the certain type who seem to place all their energies into creating what they believe is a fairytale (expensive) day and then think life will be almost idylic thereafter..

The nature of life is that at best emotions are cyclal..happy for a moment, sad for another, stressed for a moment, angry for another..disease, debt, death etc all mean that all of our lives are at times challenging hence why the better moments should be appreciated more..

Just think by expecting to always be happy is just so unrealistic - especially for those whose initial and continuing attraction is based on physical appearance since looks fade with time for all of us.

Answer 1

Marriage isn't about expecting to be happy forever. The whole point made by the wedding vows (in sickness and in health, til death do us part, etc) are as a promise to look after each other, and stand by each other whatever.

These acknowledge there will be hard times, but that the couple plan to work through them together. The act of marriage is the making of this promise.

Answer 2

If you do not expect to live happily ever after, don't get married in the first place as you will making the most important decision of your life starting with a negative attitude, we cannot all live happily ever after and nobody can be happy all the time, you have to take the rough with the smooth and work very hard. The good thing about being with somebody you love is that you give each other support to get passed all the bad,sad,stressful times.

Anybody who bases their relationship purely on looks is asking for trouble.

Answer 3

Yes I happen to agree with what you said but there's a difference between wanting to be happily married and expecting your marriage to be perfect. The latter doesn't exist because often times you will find that marriage is actually hard work. It isn't something that you just put on auto pilot and expect it to work out without the couples putting in the effort to make it work.

If people expect their marriage to be idylic then they are going about it the wrong way. I guess this is one of the reasons why some get divorced. Because when they get married they find out that marriage isn't what they thought it's cracked up to be.

Answer 4

When or if I have already without knowing met my future wife. I would already know what marriage involves.

It is good to share happy and even bad times together because a strong relationship brings people closer together, the weaker ones who were not so committed deep down fail.

I would still fancy and love my wife even if she started to walk around with i don't know lets say pink hair with blue spots on her face and neon glow lipstick, black eyeliner and wearing bin liners as clothes. Why is that? well I'll explain

1, I may not like it and want her to see a shrink or something but i would still be in love with her and wait for the new fashion craze to go off the boil a bit. Its because I would except her for the way she is and what ever might come with it and to be honest that would be for any relationship. A partner can not exist purley on looks alone.

Answer 5

Anbody who gets married expecting every moment of everyday to be idyllic is deluded! As you said, life is challenging, everyday commitments (work, children) will put strain on any marriage/relationship, the key is to know how to balance it out. No marriage is perfect, I'm not married & I don't expect to be anytime soon but when I do walk down that aisle I'll be walking into it with my eyes wide open, I'm hoping I'll know what to expect, exactly what I have now only with a ring on my finger!

Answer 6

Well I agree with you for the most part but I guess when they say "happy", they mean happy overall. Obviously you can't be happy all the time because that's just how it is. But at the same time it isn't a bad thing to make happiness in marriage your goal.

And about the fairy tale expectation, there's no such thing and if this is what people believe then they are setting themselves up for a great disappointment.

Answer 7

If you spend time with a person and get to know them well first, the likelyhood of being happy with them for the rest of life is pretty good. If you find the one that you feel comfortable with and feel you can share everything with them, the good and the bad, again the odds are in your favour. Now, sometimes life farts in our faces and we have to fight back, but with our other halves, we get through this better and faster and that's what strengthens us even more. Either that, or things go in the opposite direction altogether, but that's a sign that 'the one' might not be the one afterall.

Answer 8

I f Y ou found the right person You`d rather be with them than without.So therefore without them You`d be unhappy.Be incomplete and empty,like a ghost in a ghost-town.
That`s probably why there`s a lot of short term marriages.Those that just like the fairytale.Those that shouldn`t have got married,that didn`t want to work at it.That`s what it`s about love l.t.r. accepting weaknesses etc,taking the mask off,real life.Acceptance,tolerating.

Answer 9

Happily ever after because of all the time and effort you both put in finding the right person to spent the rest of your life with. If you have doubts or are not sure, then maybe it is not for you.
Hope you find your Prince (or Princess)

Answer 10

I think , and I speak from experience, that too many people get married too young without experiencing life first. You need to meet lots of poeple before you settle down. I would not advise any man to get married before he is at least 30. You stand more chance of staying in a relationship and valuing what you have found.