ok, so I was at dinner tonight with several of my partner's friends and their girlfriends/wives. we were discussing a possible trip to thailand and one of the men said something along the lines of "i want to go to [some part of thailand] so we can see some [insert ethnic group] people." myself and this person's wife are part of this ethnic group that was mentioned. i got offended and sorta ran off at the mouth about how that made us sound like zoo animals or something. his wife remained quiet, my boyfriend gave me the "shut up, you're doing it again" look, and the person responded that i was being too defensive and that i thought we were zoo animals if i said that and why would he mean that anyway if he was married to a [insert ethnic group] woman...
ok, i admit i overreacted, but i don't think my being offended was irrational. i mean, he could have said "i want to visit the [insert ethnic group] villages" or something like that. i mean, [ethnic group] are sitting right here! hello!!!
2006-11-10 20:56:45 · 14 answers · asked by needs help 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
pls share your race/ethnic group when responding. i'm just curious if people of different majority/minority groups see things differently... thanks!
2006-11-10 20:58:26 · update #1
I think you went a "little" overboard but I definitely think you should have said something! I think it was kind of rude of him the way he put it. I currently live in Japan and being white I am a minority. You sometimes hear about your home country mentioned in this way by the Japanese. Also being a foreigner here I am often stared at and people point at me and say "foreigner foreigner" as if they had never seen a Caucasian in their entire life.
Yeah it bugs the H ELL out of me sometimes and yes I get it at parties sometimes. But I just think of clever ways to get back at them to make them realize how ignorant they are being. For example when someone points a finger at me and yells foreigner. I point my finger right back at them and with a look of shock on my face yell Japanese. They quickly realize how ridiculous they were and they usually shut up or sometimes I get an apology. I would say the next time someone does something like that. Try to think of a witty comeback. Unless they are totally daft they will get the hint.
2006-11-10 21:16:50 · answer #1 · answered by tjinjapan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your not wrong about being offended. However it's all in the approach. The man might not have meant anything offensive. Again it's all in the approach.
Next time your in the situation. Let's say he said I want go to ABC so I can see the ABC people just smile you have us right here. So you won't be needed to go on that trip after all. You wife and I will take that money and go on a non-stop shopping spree.
You have nicely gotten your point accross and probably a smile or two in the process. Maybe even a shopping spree.
2006-11-11 05:08:38 · answer #2 · answered by wondermom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm caucasian.
You have the right to be offended by anything you want. How you react to it is a different thing. It really didn't sound like this guy meant to be racist or insulting, so I might have just made a light-hearted joke out of it -- maybe saying something like "Oh, you really feel you need to go to ----- to see -----" or something like that.
And I can't resist saying how much better a world this would be if people spent more time dealing with bad things people DO than what they SAY.
2006-11-11 05:25:26 · answer #3 · answered by clueless_nerd 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know what? I think you were justified in being offended. I am an older white woman. I have a son who is married to a wonderful lady from Malaysia. He says things frequently that make me feel very uncomfortable. I know he is not prejudiced in any way, but still. If it makes people feel uncomfortable, then why say it?
2006-11-11 05:22:37 · answer #4 · answered by mamadixie 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is kind of acceptable between men to discuss that sort of "filth talk" between certain men and certain venues." That is a fact of most cultures I have met. Obviously, this guy is a retard for 3 reasons; you have to know when, where, and who. And women are never part of those variables, unless of course they are skanky ho's.
But even then in an acceptable venue, and even drunk, it is lowlife talk, and it is better to let people think you are an idiot, then to open your mouth and prove it.
2006-11-11 05:05:03 · answer #5 · answered by careercollegestudent69 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could have been a sign of genuine interest and appreciation, hello! Of course, it all depends on the exacts words, tone, lots of stuff, but I wouldn't read too much into it. Yes, I think you might have been wrong and overreacted big time.
2006-11-11 05:02:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't like people who talk about any race in a demeaning, derogatory or patronising way.
If it is said in asympathetic or curious way then fine e.g. I'd love to go and see the (race) and see how the live/work/enjoy themselves.....
Don't think my race matters, as it as we are all humans!
2006-11-11 05:03:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you were right to say something, but to keep it light you could have said it in a joking manner, or cracked the same type of comment about his ethnic group
2006-11-11 05:02:47 · answer #8 · answered by LYRICSORUS 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you were right to have said something it is the way you felt and it is only right that you are honest. I am a white Australian woman.
2006-11-11 05:51:00 · answer #9 · answered by Tallie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may have overreacted but if you were offended then he should have apologized and clarified what he meant.
I'm Caucasian.
2006-11-11 05:16:40 · answer #10 · answered by chimera725 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋