How can I help my boyfriend??? ========================?

Question

My boyfriend told me that all his friends are just using him. He says his life is boring. He says there are better guys out there for me. He didn't have a good childhood either.

I told him that we tend to lose the amount of friends we have as we get older. I also said that he shouldn't look into the past so much. He should focus on the future. Then he said the future isn't promised to us. I said, "Don't you have hope?" He doesn't. I told him he's pessimistic. He calls it realistic.

In the 9 months of being his girlfriend and the year before that of being his friend, I’ve never seen him like this before. It scared me.

Here I am helping so many strangers online, and I feel like I can’t even help my own boyfriend out. I feel so useless. I feel like I didn't help him. All I could do was throw in my life experiences and relate it to him so he'd know he wasn't alone. I also hugged him and told him I loved him.

Do you think I helped any? What else should I tell him? : /

He's never like this. He is such a hard worker and I'm proud of him.

I am not dumping him just because he's having a hard time!!

That is not what a relationship is all about. You don't split when they're down.

I want to help him through this.

Answer 1

Ur boyfriend is really depressed. U need to be with him at this difficult time. His friend may have used him or there may be some other problems. He may be afraid that he may lose u too. So support him as much as possible in this difficult time.
Everything will be fine...

Answer 2

I know this sounds kinda mean, but my husband had a bad childhood. When things were peaceful between us, he had to stir up some drama. He needed me to be the bad guy. It was a really weird realization I had about 2 years into our relationship. I was kind of shocked, because I had never treated anyone badly, yet he seemed to find things that would put him in that position, even if they were not true at all. It was very tiring. I needed taking care of too, sometimes. I thought it was very selfish. We went through some really hard times while he dealt with that. He had to do alot of forgiving, and pretty much he has cut his ties with his parents. He had way more problems than he first let on, but it took a long time for it to come out, and when it did, I wondered if he was trying to push me away so that I would get mad at him and let him go. I really thought that. I thought: "he wants me to get mad at him and let him go. He wants out and he doesn't know how to say it." That's what I thought. I was right, because in the first ten years of our marriage, he left me 3 times.

Answer 3

It sounds like your boyfriend either has low self esteem or is cheating on you..like hes trying to push you away and that he is not looking towards the future with you..I think you need to get more information on why he is feeling this way.

Answer 4

I had the same prob. My girl helped me out by showing me love. She took me to a place where it was jus me and her and she played with my hair and got my mind off things. I suggest thats a good way to help him out.

Answer 5

He may be trying to dump you. He may have met some one or needs to be free to find some one. It sounds like he doesn't want you anymore. They make up these excuses when they want to leave you.

Answer 6

If he has such a downer on himself, then split with him and see what happens... Once he's realised what a moron he has been, he'll come running back to you... ;)

Answer 7

Just be there for him and I hope things get better.

Answer 8

tell him that he isnt alone,show him that you love him,and that you care for him........