My boyfriend and I have been together 9 months and in the beginning of our relationship i felt that he wasnt all about sex but now as time is going on i feel like thats what he wants everytime he sees me. I mean i love sex and all but there are times when im just not in the mood cause im tired or for whatever reason, and he cant relate to that, he thinks im offending him but turning down sex but its not like we dont do it, its just not every day. He gets visibly distraught when we dont have sex and it kinda bothers me cause theres no need to get like that, if we had sex once in a blue moon fine but thats not the case. He tells me its not all about sex, he just finds it intimate and cant help feeling the way he does and cant understand why i cant be in the mood when he is(which is like every sec of the day) and even after explaining to him he doesnt get it and still to this day gets upset when we dont have sex. and it always starts fights n i get so frustrated.what can i do? any advice?
2006-11-10 18:09:17 · 11 answers · asked by Christine S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
ok me and my ex went out for 7 months and do you know what ruined our realationship? sex. it was both our decisions and stuff, but we did it sooo much. 1 month into the realtionship was when we started, we got up to about 50 something. DONT do it so much ok. trust me. it ruins thigns. u might not think it will but it will burn out your realationship. if he cant get over the thought of having sex every minute of the day, talk to him about it. serriously, sit down and tell him thst you love him and say that since you DO love him u dont want to have sex so much to save the realationship. what i say si to maybe set goals. like say lets not do it for a week, then raise it to 2 weeks next time, then maybe say we wont do it till our 1 year anniversary. i dont know. all i do know is you have to ease up on the sex because it killed my realationship. i hope you understand what im saying.
2006-11-10 18:17:39 · answer #1 · answered by thecoolguy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand how you feel. I feel that you shld have a good talk with him. Let him know why you're not in the mood to have sex. If he really loves you truly, he'll be offended. Unless he doesn't loves you, then it's a different case. Normally, girls are not as easily aroused like guys. Men get turned on easily coz they're ruled by their ***** while women are ruled by emotions which means good mood. If he doesn't get what you mean, you better leave him. You wldn't want a guy who doesn't understand or care about you. That's not call real love and true understanding. I hope you've a good chat with him and see how everything goes. Don't be bothered by such a guy who just wants sex and doesn't care about how you think and feel. If you give him what he wants, that's only satisfying him but not helping and satisfying your needs. He's a very selfish guy and I seriously advise you to think over your relationship with him. Don't drag too far until the stage where you regret with no point of return.
2006-11-10 18:19:30 · answer #2 · answered by PoshBerries 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok..i'm probably gonna get yelled at for this one but...Boys will be boys, get used to it. Most, note i said most not all, guys you come acorss in life are gonna be like this at some point. The best thing I found to break my boyfriend of that was i took it away for 2 weeks and when I finally gave into the whining we had the best sex EVER. Just understand that when you overdue it in the sex department it gets to be nothing special anymore....it's just like doing chores around the house. And explain that to your bf, let him know that the more he pushes the sex the more he's pushing you further away.
2006-11-10 18:34:00 · answer #3 · answered by mthcowgurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
k, look, this is about the differances between men and women. now, for one thing, your guy is insecure, either in your relationship or himself or both. thats on you to find out. next, and a lot of women dont get this. women feel loved and accepted when we listen to you, spend the time to make you feel special. then you sort of reward us with sex. but you have to feel loved to want the sex. we are the exact opposite. you can listen to us and be supportive all you want, but we dont actually feel loved and accepted untill you have sex with us. think about it, its literally the physical act of accepting us inside you. and to us, we dont really know if your telling us the truth untill you SHOW us that you love us. its funny, ill get all tossed by the "plays" for saying this, but they are usually the guys who need the most aceptance, and are least able to have a real relationship...thus the playing.
now, with your man, you need to discover WHY hes not feeling "balanced" in your relationship. he needs to really KNOW that you love him, that you want him. that your lack of desire ONE night does not represent a lack of desire for him. he also may need to work on his approach. maybe start seducing you in the morning, and sending you affection throughout the day, as opposed to wanting to jump into it right away at the end of the night. and even then, some days you still wont be in the mood. he needs to understand that that is ok, its not about him, and to take that opportunity to give you affection and support. hell reep the rewards of this extra attention later. thats my take anyway.
2006-11-10 18:44:44 · answer #4 · answered by savgbst 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in the situation to it sucks!! alot well what i did was make him earn it because its obvious that hes not getting the picture that your not in the mood so play fun little games with him or make him take you out before you have sex with him or just use sex as a reward or a bribe or something for him to look forward too!!
2006-11-10 18:42:33 · answer #5 · answered by batman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men like sex, and when women refuse it they feel they are being rejected. Women like to talk and be close just snuggle..., but men are different. Its not all about sex over a longer period of time, but when you are young expect your bf to ask for more sex. Thats how men are
2006-11-10 18:16:21 · answer #6 · answered by funnysam2006 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs to understand the you don't want sex ALL the time. Gee whiz, he needs to respect your wishes and not make you feel bad about it.
2006-11-10 18:54:26 · answer #7 · answered by sassygirl2473 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For some people it is. Your boyfriend is in heat right now, he'll come out of it sooner or later.
2006-11-10 19:03:34 · answer #8 · answered by Bu Tran 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not give him an oral....that ways he is happy and you dont have to go thru all that trouble
2006-11-10 18:31:07 · answer #9 · answered by serengeti 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be so Selfish. Give it to him.
2006-11-10 18:12:40 · answer #10 · answered by Latino_Lifestyle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋