ok, my parents divorced when i was 13 (im now 21). he cheated on her a few times, he cant stick to commitment. he is not really the type of guy to be open and honest about anything with me, maybe because im the youngest, dont know. usually when we are together, we joke and act stupid and talk about what goes on with me. for the past couple of nights, hes been talking to me about his feelings for my mother (keep in mind, talking about these kinds of things is completely out of character for him). he has been on and emotional tight rope telling me about how he still is very much in luv with my mom and how everytime he sees her, its hard for him not to put his arms around her, kiss her and tell her he luvs her. my mother is remarried now and has been for the past 4 yrs. i dont think shes completely happy and she is aware about how my dad feels, but doesnt really say anything about how she feels, and in the meen time, my dad is about to go over the edge in love. what should i do?
2006-11-10 17:24:49 · 18 answers · asked by nina 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
support emotionally
but dont interfere
2006-11-10 17:27:47 · answer #1 · answered by q6656303 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well my mother is deceased but i still have friends with the same problem. Try and talk to your mom and tell her about your dads feelings towards her. Im pretty sure your mom will understand. But if you truly care about the man she is know with i would leave it in the past i know how hard things can be but just try and live it out if it doesnt work out the way you planned think about your mom. Try and put her first if your mom is happy leave her be. But if she cant stand the man shes with then make him go.
2006-11-11 01:32:21 · answer #2 · answered by alexis s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it seems like your parents have put you in the position of "negotiator" which is not an appropriate role for you to be in. They need to stop relying on you as a go-between and buffer.
Your mom needs to be gently reminded about the painful effects his cheating had, and that he will likely do it again if she leaves her current marriage to go back with him,
Your dad needs to be reminded that it is HIS fault that he can't be with your mother. HE messed it up by being repeatedly unfaithful. At this point it doesn't matter what he wants. His chance is over and there is no going back.
But first and foremost, they need to work this out for themselves and STOP putting you in the middle.
2006-11-11 01:31:06 · answer #3 · answered by peacedevi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should stay out of it, don't say anything to your Mom. He probably wants her back because he's tired of being alone. Maybe he's finally grown up, but do you want to take the chance that he won't hurt her again? I wouldn't. If she already knows how he feels she's a grown woman and will do what she thinks is right for her.
2006-11-11 01:31:29 · answer #4 · answered by sharpeilvr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to your mother, but remember you will be walking on very thin ice. Are you sure it's not wishful thinking on your behalf that your parents could get back together ? I think in most cases that it would be disastrous, life is for moving forward and not backwards. Also remember that your father, who now confesses his love for your mother CHEATED on her, if you really love someone you don't do that. There is also your step father to consider in all this, does he deserve his life to be ruined by your father ? Your father, in fact seems pretty good at ruining peoples lives - don't allow him to. Best wishes.
2006-11-11 01:46:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like your Dad is jealous. Your Mom has moved on, and he doesn't like it. If they couldn't be happy together the first time, what makes him think it would work out the second time. Your Mom has already moved on. Don't interfere.
2006-11-11 01:38:01 · answer #6 · answered by saucylilbrat43 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not your problem. If you don;t mind being a sounding board for your dad, then fine, listen to him but you are not the one to offer any solutions. If you don't like hearing it just say "dad, I'd rather talk about something else." Repeat this as often as necessary.
2006-11-11 01:36:57 · answer #7 · answered by babydoll 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh wow...i know this will sound really disappointing but eventually your dad will have to move on, since your mom has already found someone else. It will be hard, but start talking to your dad and assure him that you all love him, but your mom already found a new love...good luck!
2006-11-11 01:28:37 · answer #8 · answered by love&&life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him that its unfair to put you in the middle of this. You may not be a child anymore, but it is still wrong for him to try to get you to persuade your mother to leave her husband or persuade him to act on his feelings.
2006-11-11 01:27:33 · answer #9 · answered by Esma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, if your dad can't stick to commitment, he obviously isn't right for your mom. I know it's hard for him, but your mom's married, and he needs to just let go.
2006-11-11 01:27:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing. Your parents are both adults, let them work this out themselves. Putting you in the middle is unfair.
2006-11-11 01:29:09 · answer #11 · answered by shashylake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋