I have a daughter who when she got married 21 years ago has treated me like a stranger that she didn't even like . She has failed to treat me with any respect at all. Now after all this cruel treatment from her I am quiet sick of her and don't even want to ever see her again. She can travel 100 miles to see her daddy(who quiet frankly does not care anything about anyone except himself). Yet she can not come 3 miles to see her mom. At the same time it was my fault(for whatever reason that her dad did not come to see her). She has meddled between me and her brothers. I have even thought back to when I almost lost her before she was born and thought how much better off I would be if I had. What do I do to put her out of my thoughts and keep her out of my life and my business. I don't even like her anymore! I would have visited with my grandchildren more if she had acted differently. Now I don't even care about doing that. She is teaching them to act like she does.
2006-11-10 16:45:53 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
When you have kids there isn't much you can do to wipe the memorie of them..You just fill your days with things to do and let it fade to black. If she calls ignore her if you so choose. If she comes by on an off chance ignore the door if that is what you wish. Making her feel like you don't care will hurt her more then you will see or know. Test it out From one mom to another. Good luck and I'm sorry..
2006-11-10 17:11:50 · answer #1 · answered by bunny_rochelle 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honny, You have to get to a point that you have to realize that you DO NOT have to like your daughter just cause she is your daughter. You dont even have to love her. Wishing she had maybe never been born is NOT a good thought and you should stop that.
I know it is a sad sad thing but it is ok to now want her in your life. You and/or her are NOT bad people. Just because you are related to each other DOES not mean you have to want to be around each other. You two are different people and think and feel and like and dis-like different things.
With her liking her father and traveling 100 miles to see him may be more her doing then his. She may be making it out to better then it really is. He may not being seeing things the same way she does.
If you and her are able to you might just sit down and tell each other that even tho you dont get along and may not even like each other you being the grandma would still like to have contact with your grandchildren.. That you just ask that you each respect each other enough not to talk evil about each other to the children.
Good luck.
2006-11-11 01:14:09 · answer #2 · answered by LadyCatherine 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can't keep a child out of your thoughts no matter how old she is or how long you've been estranged. Think of the grandchildren and take the high road. If you don't want to see your daughter at least keep in touch with your grandchildren (they need that!!) Sounds to me like some bitterness on both sides. At least send the grandkids b'day cards, Christmas cards,whatever so they know you do care about them. It's not their fault or doing.
2006-11-11 00:56:52 · answer #3 · answered by fallingstar 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Whew, Blaze, there is a lot of bitterness there! Wishing your daughter had died as a baby????????????? YIKES !
If she doesn't come see you, or make efforts to have a relationship with you, you've about got her out of your life don't you? Of course, you lose seeing your grandchildren, and they may need you someday, but it is your call.
Don't try to turn your sons against her, to prove a point. Brothers and sisters have their own relationships, and you ARE the adult here, you don't need to gloat by turning them against her.
You want her out of your life? Leave her and her family alone, and it will sure enough happen.
2006-11-11 00:57:59 · answer #4 · answered by Lola 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
This will be very tough for you to handle but...
There is a reason she doesn't like you. i don't know if it's legitimate or not, but you did something wrong. to me it seems like you are extremely controlling and an a** who thinks she knows whats best for her daughter. become a better a mother who is willing to acknowledge that you messed up big time, and ask her what you did wrong or find a psychologist to help you figure out what's up.
Do this for yourself, your family, and especially your grandchildren.
2006-11-11 01:11:49 · answer #5 · answered by jonstanaut 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you're just a ****** and don't deserve to be visited. You wish she was DEAD? Selfish whore. A mother should be selfless, so you shouldn't have had children if you think only of yourself.
2006-11-11 01:09:44 · answer #6 · answered by nachtkennerin 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
wow thats very harsh and very sad shes still your daughter no matter what has happened i reallly hope this can be resolved some day.
2006-11-11 00:52:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
if you really mean it, move. If not, invite her and the kids over for Sunday brunch. Forgive and forget and be a family.
2006-11-11 01:09:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋