Within most close relationships we have some core needs that are important to be met.?

Question

For example, the need to be cared for, the need to be recognized, the need to be appreciated, the need to feel accepted, understood, valued, and to have our integrity accepted. When trust is threatened, according to your world view, which of these needs is most affected? How does a relationship attempt to recover from a violation of trust?

Answer 1

trust, respect Honor,caring,responsible, and if these are broken I don't think it can be repaired

Answer 2

The need to be respected for who we are and to "have our integrity accepted". When someone we love breaks a mutual trust, then the relationship has been devalued. Forgiveness is the key for a relationship to recover from this violation of trust; but it is not an easy process. Much work on both parties must go into rebuilding trust. Sometimes the relationship can become stronger after facing the lessons one learns in the honesty and light of what has happened. One can learn to know their inner self and the value of that. Sometimes one learns by this hard lesson that it is better to take your losses and move on; but what has been gained in life lessons are valuable beyond measure and will last a lifetime.

Answer 3

What quailities make a good husband: (or wife):

1 - Always be understanding of her. Don't roll your eyes, yell at her, etc. when she's telling you her feelings.
2 - Never talk bad about her to her face, behind her back, to your friends, to your family, etc.
3 - Take care of her, do things for her
4 - Have a sense of humor, have a personality, don't be boring
5 - When you hurt her, apologize
6 - If she's nagging, forgive her
7 - If you go out somewhere - pay attention to her - don't ignore her
8 - If you make promises, don't break them - be trustworthy
9 - Always talk about things - communicate - if you fight - fine - have the fight - but learn something from it and be sure to TALK about if afterward. Finish the fight, no matter how painful it is.
10 - Be responsible. Act like a man - act like a husband. Don't be immature - don't be running around cheating or staying out way to late, or lying. Work hard, study hard, whatever it is you have to do. Be a family man.
11 - Be FUN. Be cool enough to go anywhere with her and don't complain. Go out, travel, do fun things, go dancing, enjoy your lives together. Be eachother's best friends. Have jokes - don't be so serious all the time.
12 - Back her up. Protect her. Don't let ANYONE say anything bad about her. And most importantly if she has a disagreement with your Mom, or your Mom doesn't like her - NEVER take your Mom's side over hers ;)

I expect a lot from my man - and I get it ;)
Oh and she should do all those things also. She should take care of you, and do things for you that you can't do yourself (or don't like to). You should be equal. You cook, run errands ; she works & pays the bills, helps you with your HW and studying, etc.


I think the need to feel accepted and understood are some of the most important needs. It is the sole reason, other than security, that we seek out intimate companionship. We seek out others and surround ourselves with familar people that know us and understand us.

Trust is the most important. If you can't depend on someone and trust them to stay with you then you will be miserable. In order for a relationship to recover - let's say a partner cheated - the one who cheated needs to
a) COMPLETELY understand what he has done and how it affected his partner.
b) COMPLETELY feel sorry for what he did - and not just because he got caught. He needs to be sorry for his mistake.
c) Needs to prove his trust to her and realise it could be a life-long journey to regain her trust. Obviously, NEVER cheat again. Make little promises - I promise I will be home at a certain time, I promise I will do the chores for you, etc. etc. and then follow through. Don't hide things. Don't give her a reason to worry - leave your cell phone where she can see it. She will probably need to check it for a while. Don't add women in your phone even if they are just co-workers. Don't give her ANY reason to worry because then it would start a fight and she will just get more upset with you that you aren't understanding.

Answer 4

when trust is violated, all the other needs seem to go hand in hand with trust, because when trust is violated, it means to me, we weren't valued, or understood, or cared about, or appreciated. when we loose trust we seem to have lost all the other mentioned things also. i do not believe once trust has been comprimised that we can ever feel the same about that person again as long as we live. i do believe it will always cloud our thoughts and effect the future of the relationship. depends alot on the person's response who betrayed our trust, and how they perceive it, and what they are willing to do to try and regain our trust. are they genuinly repentive or is it that things didn't work out for them and they came back to us when things got sour with the person they betrayed our trust with. we definitly will remember always we were not their first choice, if we were there would not be a trust issue now.

Answer 5

my g/f seems to think that the core of a relationship is love, but love/sex is not as important as the love. i think they go hand in hand. u never recover from a violation of trust, u just sort of tuck it deep inside and work thru it

Answer 6

I think the need to be cared for is a global answer that involves all of the other needs that you said.

To me, I can't be cared for if someone violates my trust...

Answer 7

When someone betrays your trust its hard to recover. I think you jsut have to try and see if they are really going to change. Sleep with one eye open watch them so you dont go throught that hurt again.

Answer 8

The Harleys can answer it better than I can.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3300_needs.html