We had a major trust crisis 3 MONTHS into our marr. He cldn't give me time & tenderness to heal, ("It's been a MONTH!")so I haven't. My ongoing feelings of rejection and requests for his help & love have been ignored. He's so cold & is verbally brutal when angry, which is often. He has been so offended w/ my continued insecurity, & thinks I'm "attacking" him if I am sad or down, so tonguelashes me. I know the relationship is not good but I'm trying to hold on. I loved him so -he devastated me. He tells me straighout that he "can't" give me affection, much less intimacy of any kind Until I "change". He mocks me. So hard to feel good about myself to get my life in order and move ahead. Other men find me very attractive and smart, funny. I might as well be invisible to my husband,I wish he could see me as others do. I have 2 wonderful children that he can't stand. My real need is to find a way to hold on and make something of myself so I can give a better life to my kids and self.
2006-11-10 16:09:04 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he will never know the true u, he has a preconcieved idea of who he thinks u are, based on his own belief system, and his thinking. life is way to short to put up with a man who treats u as he does. sounds almost as if he don't really want to be there that maybe he would rather be somewhere else. he doesn't value you, if he did he would treat you better. if u have spoken to him and told him how u feel and still he continues to treat you like this, maybe it's time to get out of the marriage, and quit kidding yourself. when we get hurt it takes awhile to forgive and get over a trust issue, one can't just go back as they were. maybe it's time to make some changes for yourself, and decide if your really happy in this relationship. sounds as if you depend on him financially and need to stay for that reason, but that's never a good reason to stay with an angry hurtful person. sounds as if he hates himself, and maybe he has someone else in his life.
2006-11-10 16:28:28 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say that he can't see you as others do, so this must mean you have supportive people in your life. If other men find you attractive, smart and funny, it sounds like you have the qualities it takes to start over. It is especially troubling that he can't stand your kids.
I would get out of this relationship as soon as possible. It sounds like you have people who would be willing to help you get through this emotionally and maybe in others ways as well.
You owe it to yourself and your children to have a good life.
Get out of there! Good luck to you.
2006-11-10 17:20:08 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. Switch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, my first reaction is to tell you that you have to get out NOW. Each day you and your children are spending in this enviroment is screwing with your minds and it does terrible damage. Don't feel trapped that you have to get better with him in order to get a job and get out. It won' be logical and it would be harder than hell. Those kids need taken care of NOW - not when you are tryin gto better yourself. Please work out a plan to get out soon. It's so important for the kids. God Bless you and help you get this mess straightened out so you can live in peace.
2006-11-10 16:24:41 · answer #3 · answered by MissHazel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Divorce.
2006-11-10 19:08:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why are you still holding on? Let go and let yourself and your children have a good life. good luck
2006-11-10 16:22:35 · answer #5 · answered by Queenie Peavey 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U are in a abusive relationship....
2006-11-10 18:05:19 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems like you have holded on to long . my opion?
2006-11-10 17:29:42 · answer #7 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋