how do i overcome my fear of getting close to guys?

Question

im 18y.o and im scared to get close to guys.. wat is wrong with me!! i've always wanted to feel loved and special but when the chance comes i always hold back because i fear getting hurt by them, but im hurting more holding back.. im low on confidence and dont believe im worth being loved and treated with respect :S. it makes me feel soo empty and confused, why do i act this way?! aww does anyone have any tips to help me overcome this fear? im starting to doubt myself soo much, soon im going to lose control of everything!! help please!!

Answer 1

Set your goals in a more appropriate order. Guys are fun. Focus on having guy friends first and try hard to not put any expectations beyond that. You'll find that guys love to have girls to pal around with. As this works for you, you'll learn to lighten up and not put so much emphasis (and your self esteem) on having a guy like you. You'll have guys like you - certainly as a friend at first.

Answer 2

First off you must learn to accept and love yourself for you. You must gain respect and assures for yourself before anyone else can. It may take a while but once you accomplish this then you will have a different out look on a lot of things. After you done this if you still have your fear the only way to get over that is to just do it. Give the guy a chance. Yes you may get your heart broken a couple of times. But once you find that special someone baby words can't express the feeling you will feel

Answer 3

You're placing too much emphasis on this one "moment." You need to put things in perspective.

First, you will go through at least 3 relationships and maybe as many as 10 before you settle down with the man you want. So these relationships that you are afraid of should be your "practice rounds."

Second, no man is perfect, especially the ones that try to convince you otherwise. If you check some of the questions on this site, you'll realize that a few guys are posting about their own fears involving talking to girls. They're human, just like you, and will probably goof up just as much as you, if not more.

Third, do not change how you look, act or think when meeting guys. The last thing you need to do is confuse the poor guy about who you really are. Guys like girls who are themselves and they hate "fake" girls.

Fourth, before you "date" just hang out with some guys. Figure out the way guys think. Once you know what you're up against, then taking the next step won't be quite so hard. Let's call this "reconnaissance."

So, go out there, have fun, goof up, and never forget to be yourself. If they guy doesn't like you for who you are, move on to the next. Eventually you'll find one that does. You can't make someone like or love you.

Answer 4

I think you should seek some professional help here and I'm talking psychiatrist. Please do not listen to or indeed contact some of the crazy people on this website. You will end up getting hurt this way.

You could also try getting to know people in person more rather than on-line. You might just meet someone you truly trust, but give it time.

Answer 5

Hi Isabella.I am in the same situation .. Although I am 17. I don't think I'll ever be able to have a boy friend ... If a guy is interested I actually HIDE or walk away. Even If I like him. I will add more soon!

Answer 6

Something Specially
For You

I said a prayer for you today
And know God must have heard-
I felt the answer in my heart
Although He spoke no word!
I didn't ask for wealth or fame
(I knew you wouldn't mind)-
I asked Him to send you treasures
Of a far more lasting kind!
I asked that He'd be near you
At the start of each new day
To grant you health and blessings
And my friendship to share your way
I asked for happiness for you
In all things great and small-
But it was for His loving care
I prayed the most of all.

By: Kenny P. aka-Cobra

Answer 7

Do this, it works. Every day (at night, if you want), close your eyes and imagine the way you would like things to go with guys. Imagine the way you would like to act when you're around them. Imagine it in detail. Imagine it with emotion and feeling. Do this everyday, whether you see changes or not. As you continue to do it, you will see small, but definite changes in the way you act towards guys, and the way they act towards you. In time you will be more confident, and you will talk and interact with guys easily.

Answer 8

Learn how to have fun no matter whos around you. Guys like myself have this fear also so your not alone. Never be afraid to stand out and make mistakes. were only human

Answer 9

you are special. God loves you. try just being aware that you are a teen. that is a confusing stage. i'ma guy. you can try emailing me [e-mail] and i'll show the ins and out of how to deal with your insecurities. most girls or women think that all guys are jerks. i'm not. but i guess the popularity speaks. try more-selfesteem.com. try just seeing the good skills you possess and run with that.

Answer 10

for one isabella just be yourself, there is noone out there like you your unique and special, so dont let noome disresprect you, one day you will find someone to love you , but dont rush into love, love is such a strong word, some people will tell you they love you too take advantage of you, so be careful, be confident no ine knows what you lijke but yourself good luck girl.