What do you think of this?

Question

I go to a mostly white school right now and im black, my bestfriend is a white guy named Zach and I love him. We have been best friends all through elementary and middle school we were never ignorant of our differences but that didnt play a part in our relationship. Well, today he came up from behind me and started playing with my hair and hands and hugging me things like that. A couple of racists came up and started calling him a "n*gger lover" and things like that, they were saying that black girls aren't good for anything but laying on their backs. (I'm sure you know what that means) I could tell he was hurt but what could i say? I was just as shocked as he was. We couldnt believe that people could be so intolerant of our friendship. I guess my question has three parts, A) What should i have said to him? if anything and B) was i wrong in reacting the way I did? (froze) and C) what do you think of the racism nowadays?

Answer 1

Wow, good question. it sounds like you are very intelligent, and well grounded. I think it would be a good time to have a long talk about racial differences, and realize that you don't have to defend your relationship from ignorant bigots. the racist comment were from a totally ignorant group of people, and you can't change them. as far as your reaction, i think that humor can sometimes be the way to go. it is good at diffusing most situations. nothing insulting, but something light.
It is said that there are so many racist people out there. remember hatred is TAUGHT, it has to be learned from somewhere. until we educate more people on how to better deal with racial issues, there will always be racism.

Answer 2

Unfortunately, there will most likely be racism for a long time to come. All we can do is stand up against it when it happens.
I am sure your principal would like to know about this incident. If things like this are left unchecked there could be a very bad atmosphere in school. Don't be so hard on yourself for reacting the way you did. The shock of it probably left you speechless with the audacity involved in this kind of narrow minded bigotry. Just let Zach know that bigots will not come between your friendship with him. The only way that could possibly happen is if you both allow it. I am interested to know what Zach's response to them was. Silence? Fear? Anger? Confusion?

Answer 3

When we don't learn from our mistakes we are destined to repeat them. What a sad thing to know that racism is so real in the world today. Unbelievable.

I'm so sorry that you endured that kind of negative behaviour. In this day and age one would think folks would have learned from the past what kind of destruction racism brings. I know it might not be possible, but if so, I think I would transfer to another school. I am afraid this is only one trial you might face being the only black at this school.

I think your friend reacted in a natural way. He was probably shocked, just like you, and froze too. I bet it took him off guard. Don't be too hard on him as he probably has never seen blatant racism before this close and personal. Think about what you might wish to say the next time this happens. Of course, a soft answer turns away an angry remark. It doesn't seem fair but to avoid any physical fight for your friend I would think of something to say that might defuse the situation. Best of luck. Please remember, not all folks (of any race) are bad.

Answer 4

Id say those people need a fist in the face. To answer your question:
A) It depends how it made you feel,but you shouldnt let it get to you and you should tell Zach to ignore it too,after all,people who make racist comments are just ignorant,they dont understand decency and humanity and thus their opinions dont count. B) No,you could have reacted anyway you wanted,from ignoring them to getting upset,and still be within your rights :p C) I think a lot of racism amongst young people is just another form of bullying. A bully will target what they see as a weakness in their victim,then make fun of this "weakness",like calling a black person a n*gger,or a fat person a whale etc just because they know its upsetting for them. The real worrying racism in Police forces and politics is disgraceful,i think anyone in a position of authority who shows any inkling of being genuinely racists should be sacked at the very least. These race motivated LAPD beatings and the like just make me sick. Sorry for going on lol

Answer 5

I don't know that there was anything you could say or that you should have to say. Maybe something about how pathetic some narrow minded people are. Your reaction was appropriate and better than going off on them. Often any reaction will just fuel the fire and make them continue. Most of the time people say things like that for the reaction they get. Racism is just stupid. The color of a person's skin does not make them any better or worse than anyone else. I'm sorry that this happened to you and your friend and hope that it doesn't hurt your friendship.

Answer 6

You did the right thing by saying nothing. Some people do as they see in their homes. I am sure that this is part of normal behavior in this persons household. Continue to be friends with Zach its sad the racism still exists.

Answer 7

a)there was really nothing u could've said
either way,it would've been awkward
maybe u could've just said how immature they were & started playing around like they never said it
that could've took some tension off the situation

b)u weren't wrong in any way
i would've probably done the same thing,only i would've told them off

c)racism is so stupid
it's not funny,cool,or appropriate in ANY case
nowadays,people think it's cool to laugh at somebody if they're not their race,but it's hurtful
of course,we live in a hurtful world,but no one should feel as if they're not accepted
racism is 1 of those things that everyone laughs at,but if it was happening to them,they wouldn't think it was too funny

i'm sorry about what happened today
maybe those jerks will get a dose of their own medicine

Answer 8

I don't think that you should have had to say anything. I think that Zack should have stood up for you and himself. People these days don't think before they speak. Or have they ever? They need to get use to the fact that there are different races. I look at it this way, Someone that has to say something negative about someone else is just insecure themselves, and by hurting someone elses feelings, they think that is going to make them feel better about themselves. I don't think you were wrong the way you froze. Sometimes its just better not to say anything then to piss someone off. Who know how people react these days.

Answer 9

number one they have no reason saying that girl I mean Im a white girl but honey still thats so flipping wrong.The way you reacted I would totally reacted that way to.I mean hate people like that racism I have a friend that is racist too but gah it makes me so mad when he talks bad about black people and then you know how Beyonc'e is a black chick and then he so in loved with her I mean urrrggggh it makes me so mad.

Answer 10

frist of all people are going to say something reguardless you and him have to be strong and stand for what youll want. and to answer your question for one they were jealous of you and him and you should have told them that only dump *** white people say **** like that and that he handle it very well kill them with kindness honey my brother girlfriend is white and they came over alot of things with the whole black white thing and their still together and have four beautiful kids who everybody love you just ingore what ingorent *** people and in the long run theyll have nothing while you to have everything. remember your true love could be a different race.