I am feeling very guilty.....?

Question

When I was a single mom i worked two jobs but always had time to see my kids, I never felt as though I didn;t see them enough. Now that I am married I have had to get a different job, now I have to work mostly evenings and I never get to see my kids, but if i don;t work we will not have a home. My husband works as well, so its not like I am supporting the whole family. For along time after getting married i stayed home and only worked a part time job, this is a shock to everyones system, and I am feeling so guilty that i just want to cry, have been crying actually. I am at work now and do not sit on the computer while home with the kids.

Does anybody have any suggestions for me on how I can "get the most" so to speak out of the time i do get to see my kids?

there are very few day jobs in the field i am qualified for, the position I applied for was for daytime hours, but they gave that one to someone else.

Answer 1

You will just have to make the most to see your kids when you can. You have to understand that you are teaching your children that a family works together to support each other. A mom and dad will sacrifice to put food on the table and a roof over their head. You are teaching them to rely on themselves and not ask the government for a hand out. You might miss you kids but you are showing and teaching them a lesson on life. I know its hard and I commend you for doing what is necessary to take care of your family. Stay strong and when you are with your kids "make the most" of it.

Answer 2

Assuming you are working nights and they are in school during the day, have you thought about homeschooling for them? Is your husband working days?
Some states also have the option of virtual school (like telecommuting), where you don't have to come up with the schedules, just help them with organizing and discipline.
Otherwise, my mother worked most of my school days as a kid (night shift nurse), and we didn't see her much except summers and weekends. Probably better that way in some respects, since we didn't get sick of her as much. But then, we didn't have all the 'mandatory' activities that kids seem to get sucked into nowadays.

Answer 3

IM A SINGLE MOM TO AN 11 YR OLD I UNDERSTAND COMPLETLY WHEN I WAS ON GRVEYARD I WRKED 12 HR DAYS 6 DAYS A WEEK, NOW I WORK 5 DAYS A WEEK WELL 2ND SHIFT, I UNDERSTANS. WITH MY DAUGHTER WE HAVE DINNER DATES I MEAN WE DO GIRLS NIGHT OUT AND ITS JUST US AND WE MAKE THE MOST OF THE TIME 2GETHR I DO THINGS SHE LIKES TO DO OR WE WATCH TV 2GETHER I TAKE AN ACTIVE ROLL IN HER LIFE WHAT SHE IS DOING AND THAT INCLUDES SCHOOL, HER COMPUTER, FRIENDS, TV ETC. I TAKE AN INTEREST IN IT ALL. WE WATCH HANNAH M0NTANA 2GETHER SHE LOVES THAT SHOW AND WE TALK ABOUT THE PROGRAM. WE TALK AT DINNER AND I TURN MY CELL PHONE, PAGER AND ANY OTHER DISTRACTION OFF WHILE ITS OUR TIME. I CALL HER 2 TIMES A NIGHT WHILE I AM AT WORK AND THEN TO SAY GOODNIGHT AND WE PRAY GETHER. HOPE THATS A LITTLE HELPFUL 4 YA.LOL I TAKE AN ACTIVE INTEREST IN WHAT SHE IS INTERSTED IN EVEN IF I ONT PARTICULARLY CARE FOR IT LIKE SHE LIKES POKEMON I DONT BUT I PARTICIPATE IN THOSE THINGS AND SHE SEES IM INTERSTED AND SHE KNOWS I LOVE HER BY TAKING AN ACTIVE ROLL IN ALL OF IT, EVERYTHING. HOPE THIS HELPS

Answer 4

ya know i have had this same problem. i am a senior in school...and throughout the summer it was cool because i got to see her like all the time...now that im in school again i go to school all day and then go to work after school otherwise she wouldnt have the things she needs. i told my mom i feel like a bad mom and she said that its actually being a good mom bcuz im doin the things that need to be done so she has a good future. i usually try to take at least one day a week (either day off or take a day off from school) and i spend the WHOLE day with her...do nothing but spend time with her....im sorry ur crying, i hope u feel better. hang in there.

Answer 5

Have a family meeting and let the children know how you are feeling. Sometimes kids think their parents want to work because they like that more than them. Explain to them the reason you have to work. ( I'm assuming that their old enough to understand) tell them how much it hurts you to leave them in the evening, but your doing it for them. Have mommie and me time for each child so they know how special they are and feel important. Best of luck to you.

Answer 6

If you must work, Then I would suggest that you actively seek a different job, One that will pay what you require but work the hours that afford you the most time with your children.

Answer 7

settle for another type of job. Dont let your kids grow up without there mom and dont let them get to a point where you turn and look at them one day and they are all grown up. In the meantine, when you dont work make sure you take time for all of them together and time for them one on one.

Answer 8

Yeah I have the ones days ... Some days such as you I simply wanna pass cry within the nook all alone. The high-quality factor to do is to truthfully pass cry and it is going to make you consider lots higher ... It sound bizarre however a few days I like to cry it simply releases all of it. Don't fear you are going to by and large consider fantastic the following day, that continually occurs to me ... I consider particularly crappy at some point after which tomorrow I consider like i am on best of the World. I desire you consider higher. x

Answer 9

Why don't you get a day job and work while the kids are in school?

Answer 10

Yes look for another job mean time use your cell phone or get one to call kids see how they are...tell them you care and love them every day..Peace