married for 4 +yrs 2 kids. found new gf lasted for 2yrs +. go home or divorce? cant help thinking bout all.?

Question

currently lost n confused..pls advise ...tried to beg to regain gf but humilated.
family & wife wants to forgive & forget.she not mad just glad if i could turn to a new leave. damn confused, spoke to people all different views n answers.. told me to sort n tell myself to move on with my own decisions... cant help thinking bout gf all the time.. hates me for leaving her in the first place . love her lots n wanna make it up to her. family came into the picture n told me to go home n be with my wife n kids.. feel sorry for them too..i know i am a jerk. pls advise

Answer 1

if your wife is willing to forgive and forget hello, try to make it work and what about your poor kids do they deserve what you are doing to them and their mother .be a better man and turn over a new leaf its obvious thats where the love is

Answer 2

At this point in time running back to your wife is probably not a good decision especially since you have children, you really need to find yourself and sort out your feelings. Do you love your wife? I mean really, not just the security and the stability. Do you really love the now ex girlfriend, or the wifely needs she fulfilled in you, as well as the thrill of something new, and finding out that you are still attractive to someone else.

IT takes at least a year to get to a point after a marriage or long term relationship ends that you really start thinking straight and realizing that you can be independant and still be a supportive figure and loving parent to your children even though you are not with your spouse.

Affairs and rebound relationships usually dont work, you know the old saying the grass is always greener.

In my case, Right after my split I dated for a bit, found it empty and realized I was trying to replace my ex, not him cause he was an asshole, but the security and stability. I stopped dating for several months, focused on getting my life together, getting my then 2 yr old adjusted to the almost split custody agreement we had, and getting myself used to being ALONE when he was at his fathers. Oh yeah and getting used to the new woman the ex had living with him about 6months after split.

By the end of the first year I was casually dating someone, that turned serious and we have been engaged for over a year getting married in 9 months.

I grew emotionally, became independant, learned how to support myself well financially, got out of debt and became a much happier person, with the help of family, friends, and a good mental health counselor I am a much better person then I was before.

Seriously really give yourself a break, get a counselor, sort it out, and then if you are serious about getting back with your wife, go to counseling together, figure out what made you stray in the first place, and slowly work yourself back into your marriage.

Answer 3

i was in the same situation...the g/f didnt want me anymore....the wife said she forgave me......i did make the right decision though i went back home to the wife and u should too it will be tough the first few months but it is worth it....that was 2 yrs ago and we are still together....the biggest thing is to sit down and talk to your wife work out your differances and put alittle spice in your life once in awhile it will make your relationship bloom.....
the #1 killer of all marriages is communication .... start with that first tell each other how u feel...believe me she will listen....
try going to a marriage councelor they will help.....
forget the g/f it will just tear u up inside
do what your heart tells u is right and all will work out in the long run
good luck

Answer 4

Check Alabama state divorce laws, and I'm sure you'll find that if you file the decree with the courts, after a timeframe, if you can't afford legal help, the courts will assist in getting pro-bono attorneys to iron out a deal for custody. I believe you have to be separated for over year and a half.

Answer 5

its about time you gather and sort out your acts ... decide. do you still love your wife? if yes, go back to her. looks like she is willing to take you back. if love's been lost, talk to her, settle things with her and file for a divorce. i don't see any reason of living together if there is no longer love in the relationship. it will only complicate matters and make both of you miserable.

as for the g/f, does she still loves you? you said you left her. examine your reasons of leaving her ... once your marital problems are settled win your g/f back, if she or the relationship is worth it.

make up your mind. who do you really want to be with .. then take it from there.

God bless

Answer 6

You should get a place by yourself, stop seeing both of them, anyone, for that matter. Concentrate on you, work and spending time with your kids, and quit worrying about woman. They're probably both wrong for you, when you get your sh*t together someone (decent) will appear in your life (maybe one of them) but it sound like you need to step back and reassess the situation.

Answer 7

Yes, you are correct...
You should give up women for a few years until you
gain some maturity, wisdom and sense of responsibility...
You cannot be running around destroying other peoples lives...

Answer 8

sounds like youre saying iyou love the gf the most...are you saying gf wont keep you? if thats the case go home...if not propose to the gf...youre not divorced? good grief...DECIDE WHICH ONE YOU LOVE THE MOST and go for that one...

Answer 9

And people wonder why I refused to get involved in relationships

Answer 10

u should be. shame on u ...u dont know still what u want. all u do know is u dont want to be alone. how sad..take some time to be alone then decide.