exhusband causing grief?

Question

Ex is acting crazy!!!?
Help! My ex plays games with visitation like no call no show, visiting abt one time monthly and then calls making demands and posturing like i am keeping him from his kids. He emailed and told me he would not be here tonight but would be by tomorrow at 8. i replied that we will be at church at 8pm, and he can either come after we get home - 9pm, or sunday am. he called abt 6am yelling at me. I told him that if he can not be polite i would hang up on him and did. later he called back and left a msg that he expected me not to be home for visit time - 6pm, and that he was bringing "a police escort" to have me arrested for interferance with his "rights!" this man is nuts! I will be back at the lawyer soon, but any advice? I can not afford this!

Answer 1

Sounds like you need to go back to your lawyer and set up a pick up and drop off time. He needs to abide by these times or lose his visitation time. You can't sit and wait till he decides its time to pick them up. He sounds like a real jerk!

Answer 2

Ex-husbands usually are crazy...I know exactly where you're coming from.
You need to keep a paper trail. Exact dates and times he's missed or rescheduled seeing the kids. Keep the recordings of his messages....etc. Make sure you have all this ready for your lawyer when you do see him. Courts like both parents to be involved with the children, but they also want consistency...As well as the children needing it...
He's trying to put the blame on you for whatever issues he's having. Don't let him get you down...then he'll win...You don't want that. Just stand your ground, and stick to the courts visitation orders. It's both your responsiblities to adhere to this, so if he doesn't, it certainly wont' look good to the courts when and if you have to go back..
Good luck! ! !

Answer 3

It sounds like your ex is a bit of a control freak and that would explain the ex status i would really consider going for full custody for I wouldn't want my kids around a guy that acts that way what if he becomes abusive with the kids watch your back and your kids and make copies of all the emails and if possible record the messages to give to the police he sounds threatening I would
file for a restraining order against him coming into contact with you or the kids this guy is stepping over boundaries and wants you to jump through hoops for him shut him done now.

Answer 4

You need a disinterested third party. Find someone who will drop off the kids at his house or a neutral location. If he wants to see them, he goes through the intermediary. He is to no longer phone you personally. If he brings the cops tomorrow or the next day, let him. The cops will see you are perfectly willing to let him see the kids and will probably jump onto him for bringing them into it.
Definitely see about a third party mediator for visitation. Also, with a mediator, if he does no shows and lates, you have a neutral party who can verify his irresponsible attitude. Your county may have info or names on how to set this up for you.
It sounds to me like he is still extremely angry with you and is being unreasonable. Distance yourself as much as possible from him.;

Answer 5

you know, do yourself a favor and document all of his contacts....make a diary of every call...and be honest about his behavior and yours. It will look better to the judge or mediator if you admit when you have gotten upset, too.
Your best bet is behave in the best interest of your children at all times. He sounds like the typical weekend daddy.
It is never easy to deal with an idiot!!!
Be sure to document all of the times you have met him halfway when he decides that the mandated visits aren't "working into his schedule".
And by the way ...you are perfectly right to tell him that you will not speak to him when he is being rude or unruly!
Sounds to me that he cannot have you arrested for interference when he is the one changing the visits!!

I wish you the best of luck!!!

Answer 6

in many county there are custody and visitation laws. most set up a designated time the children need to be picked up and dropped off. There is in our county. it also states that there is a 10 or 15 minute leway for persons traveling with in 30 miles and 30 minute leway for persons traveling more than 30 miles. I would look at you custody papers and see what they say. you can pick up another copy at your court house that you had custody arrangements in. if you don't know about the custody / visitation laws ask some one in the court house if your county has standards on these issues. get a copy for the father too. Next time he picks them up highlight the areas of concern (on his copy only). so they are easy to read. if your custody papers spell it out use those. let him know from now on you will be abiding by those rules and those rules only unless you are given 1 week notice ( your choice there). This way if he takes you to court you are covering your own butt. use your copy for a guide line for you and also to make copies if later he tries to spring another issue on you, highlight just those points and give the papers to him again. Custody and visitation shouldn't mean that you have to give up your weekend or your plans because he wants to inconveince you. Also, get your self a note book and a mini tape recorder. use the notebook for contact with father only document EVERYTHING each call, dr bill, parent teacher converence, if he attended or not, what was said, and if it made you angry, sad or you felt threatened. The notebook will also help you in court. the tape recorder is to tape you and his conversation, yes, it is illegal and can not be used in court, but, if he threatens you. you have what is said word for word. and the tone. your lawyer may still be able to use the tape for leverage in court. or the judge may listen to it or, if your lucky, allow it because of what is said. in this day and age you can not be to cautious and he said she said never goes over well in court. what ever advice you decide to go with, try to keep your children from hearing your disagreements with there father, and don't talk about thier father if they are in the room. you want health stable children and they don't deserve to be apart of an adult arguement. if your childern do become emotionally involved in the dispute, put in the middle, seek out conseling. the court in our county also pays for mediation (no or little cost to you) maybe you can leave the lawyers out of it altogether and take that approach. If the police are brought to your house, they can not do anything other than see that the father and you have a health exchange of the children. if it is not time for his visitation and you do not want them to go they can not make you give the children to him, unless he has paper stating that he is allowed at this time to see, have them. which brings up another good point there are also safe places that you can exchange your children they document your arrival and who picks up the children what time and all. this eliminates harsh words between parents in front of the children. you can contact your court house for this too. Sorry to say, been there. good luck to you and your children, and remember.... be true to your self, after all you are the only one that has to live with you for the rest of your life.

Answer 7

Just follow the written guidance of the final divorce decree or parentining plan. The court order should have exactly how the visitations are to be conducted. To deviate from the court order even if each of you agree to change dates or time is Contempt of Court and is punishable by jail time.

Answer 8

2 WORDS....Restraining ORDER. No, he didn't put physical harm on you but he is causing you emotional stress and thats not something you need your children around. He could get worse as time goes on and who knows what he could do. As long as you are doing the right thing there is no evidence to prove you've done anything wrong. Good Luck! Hope this helps!!

Answer 9

Unless your ex. has a lot of money he can't afford to do this either.

Courts have family mediators....someone to help with situations like this. Talk to him and see if he'll co-operate.

You and your ex will be fine....but your children will not.

Also for your protection keep a record of everything...even if it seems unimportant.

Answer 10

That idiot, doesn't he know he can be arrested for making a false claim? You labeled him right, he's a nut. Inform your lawyer of this then let your lawyer handle the nut.