3 years ago I tried to divorce my wife. She asked me to come back and because of my Christian beliefes I felt obligated to do so. God has now had an additional 3 years to heal our marraige and he has not. I moved out 4 months ago, filed for the divorce and it's almost final. I've met a wonderful Christian women, we dated for 7 weeks and I've fallen in love with her. Now she wants to break it off because of her convictions about dating a man that is technically still married. I respect that and we have broken it off for now. But now my ex-wife to be is pulling the "lets work it out" thing on me again. If I were to go back, I would have to live the rest of my life in love with this other women and yet be married to a women who, right now I do not love. I believe God can work miracles. But I don't want one in this case. Should I want a miracle? Should I go back and try yet once again to make somehting work with my wife?
2006-11-10 13:06:02 · 9 answers · asked by Mark B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If your not happy why stay in this relationship, also you would regret not being with the love of your life. You should not feel obligated to stay with a person because of your Religion, God didn't give you another 3 years to work this out, you gave them to yourself. A Religious person would not date someone while waiting for a divorce, thats just a contradiction of your Beliefs as you said... you were still technically married. Give yourself some time and space to heal, don't go back to your wife unless you truly believe in your heart that this would be the best for the both of you....could be that you will be wasting more years on an empty relationship that isn't going to change. Did you ever hear of "God helps those who help themselves"? Start by helping yourself and do the right thing for you and your wife. Good luck to you.
2006-11-10 13:22:34 · answer #1 · answered by MiMi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I work at an animal shelter. Its hard to understand a womans need to take animals home. I think the usual answer to this question is attention and the need for activity. Does she complain that she's feels busy all the time? Since having the kids and the first pet, she feels like she doesnt have a life. She thinks i might as well add another pet because thats the only part of my life I can alter and make a difference it the world at the same time. Believe it or not a woman is never satisfied with the mundane. She wants change and excitement, even if she is conservative. If a husband doesn't find something to fill that requirement a wife will search dangerously for it by herself. Animals can temporarily fill that void. They are new and exciting. They can give there undivided, ever loyal, admirable and adoring attention. She feels like a Queen! Finally, shes made a difference in the world and the pet acknowledges it. I'm not sure what you guys roles are. But maybe if you did crazy unexpected wonderful things for her and kept the ball rolling, she wouldn't have time to be preoccupied with pets. Spend more time with her. Find babysitters for the kids. Help out more around the house. You know 50/50. Explain to her that you feel crowded and uncomfortable. Hopefully, she will understand. Also let her know that the kids should be helping with the animals. Animals are part of the family and everyone should pitch in.
2016-05-22 04:04:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look love is a choice.
It is not something sent from a nuclear accelerator that bombardes you all of a sudden. That is lust not love.
So you either chose to love this new woman or it was a lust.
I mean I don't know why you want a divorce. Is she cheating on you?
I would consider that to be the only green light for divorce. Isn't that what the Bible says.
So If it is something else, you can choose to love your soon to be ex-wife.
Trust me Love is a Choice. Choose to love your ex and start a good communication. a Woman can't live with a man. Trust me she needs you, she can't live without you. And I am sure she will change whatever is coming in between you two. Just be a man and talk to her as a man.
May be there is something you are not showing or giving to her, and that may make her do the things that force you to file a divorce.
remember
Love is a choice
and
Communication is the key for a good relationship
God Bless
2006-11-10 13:48:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you go back to your ex wife it will never work. Just for the fact you fell in love with this other woman. Follow the heart. Go threw the divorce and get with other woman. Sometimes tryen to work things out just don't work and by the way it sounds you will never love your wife the way you should ever again. The damage has been done between your marriage Good luck and follow the heart
2006-11-10 13:35:56 · answer #4 · answered by mommys_girl1234 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's a thought for you. If you want the marriage to last then you have to work on it and she does as well. If you both throw your hands up expecting it to work out on it's own then you are losing ignorantly. No one can answer that question except for yourself. If you are in love with another woman, then go for her. It would not be right to live a lie with your wife when you are not in love with her. It is not fair to her either. You both deserve to be happy, to be in love. Continue on with your divorce and explain to your wife your feelings towards her and the other woman. Make it very clear to her that you are in love with another woman and you want a divorce. Plan and simple. Do not make a choice over guilt or what you feel you are obligated to do so. If you really think about it, you are obligated to your heart.
2006-11-10 13:15:01 · answer #5 · answered by trustnoone_ever 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do believe you have put in your time and then some complete your divorce for it seems you are connected with someone else.
God will see that you put in the time to resolve things but they just didn't pan out. Start anew with this new gal and start living happy again. I think the women your are in love with now just feels like it is wrong to be seeing someone that is still marrie d on paper that is contact her when things are done and then really you can start a new chapter in both opf your lives.God Bless and Good Luck.
2006-11-10 13:28:06 · answer #6 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me, your wanting the best of both women, you know in your heart which one you want, be a man and do the right thing. and not play games with people. and don't blame it on god if you make the wrong choice.
2006-11-10 13:15:42 · answer #7 · answered by Cobra 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget miracles. Find a hardbody.
2006-11-10 13:10:22 · answer #8 · answered by S K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think sometimes it's ok to think about your own best interest and move forward...this is one of those ok times.
2006-11-10 13:15:23 · answer #9 · answered by denise123456 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋