Why do some married couples swing? Why embrace the bosom of another man's wife?

Question

Could you watch another man hose your wife?

Answer 1

They want some nasty incurable STD's?

Answer 2

The fact that you had to ask the question here online means that you are not ready for this and that it would probably destroy your marriage. The swinging lifestyle is not for most people and I would agree, that most married couples that try it have many long lasting problems afterwards. Talk to your wife, just because she brought it up doesn't mean she's a bad wife. Maybe she just has some fantasies (we all have fantasies) that you guys can work out without bringing in another person. The fact that she asked you means that she's reaching out for something in your sexlife that needs some attention.

Answer 3

"... whether your married or bf/gf, If you love the other than you love ONLY the other. If people use the excuse that its healthy, well, I know alot about health, and ive never seen anything that confirms swinging is healthy (and if there was, doesnt mean its right!!!) the best advice i can give is......... DONT SWING!!!! "

You're a shrink, right?? Or a medical doctor? If you've "seen what swinging can do to a relationship" through the patients that walk through your door, then all you're going to see are the failures, never the successes...because those who can swing successfully have no need for marital counselling! LovePoet, if you can say with such conviction that you KNOW swinging is unhealthy, then I can't say much for the thoroughness of your "research". All you "know" is what you've heard. What I KNOW is what I have experienced, and as the much-loved wife of a kind, decent and selfless man, I can TELL YOU that swinging can indeed be a healthy sexual outlet for a healthy, grounded, committed couple. IF they go about it the right way.

To answer the OP, I am a woman, so I can only give my perspective. My husband has not only watched me get it on with another guy, I've watched him doing all the things to my swing partner's wife that he does to me in our own bed...and I think it's fantastic! If you think it's terrible, immoral, gross, etc. then I might as well save my breath, because there'll be no convincing you otherwise. I'll just say that we both thoroughly enjoy the eroticism of watching one another having sex with other people. It's a bit like having an "out of body experience", because you are able to sit back and watch with curiosity as your spouse does all the things to someone else that he does with you, and you KNOW how it feels. But oddly enough, there is no jealousy. None, nada, zip, zilch. And no, the jealousy is absent not because we don't care, but because we care so much. We're just very focused on our partner having wonderful experiences in his or her life. We just want to be there when it happens. Sex is a wonderful thing, and it's obvious that sexual attraction to others doesn't stop when we get hitched (hence the huge numbers of people that sneak around to get some on the side). We just figure it's illogical to stack the cards against ourselves (as in a traditional marriage), and it's highly destructive to all parties to cheat.

Why do we swing? Because, as RacerX said, we can. We are able to incorporte responsible non-monogamy into an already successful and thriving marriage in such a way that it improves it yet again. A caveat: It will not improve every marriage. We do it because it is an overflow of sexual energy that is otherwise simply going to waste. A bit like a houseplant that has become root-bound in its too-small pot. If you put it out in the garden, however, it thrives and grows like crazy because it finally has room to stretch out and "express itself."

I'm sure I haven't answered anything for you, have I? :)

Answer 4

There are different types of swinging - some couples only soft swing (do not swap). In may ways it can add an erotic angle to any relationship - but swingers are generally very secure in thier relationship. They are not the jealous or insecure type.

Answer 5

Because we can. Because some fantasies take more than two people to fulfill. Because we are very secure in ourselves and each other and thus there is no jealousy. And because watching each other do our thing is a turn-on for both of us. My wife's incredible and I thank the powers that be everyday that I'm married to her. :-)

Answer 6

If you Swing, can you only imagine how much the marriage swings!!!! whether your married or bf/gf, If you love the other than you love ONLY the other. If people use the excuse that its healthy, well, I know alot about health, and ive never seen anything that confirms swinging is healthy (and if there was, doesnt mean its right!!!) the best advice i can give is......... DONT SWING!!!!

Answer 7

I only do it to appreciate what I have at home. My wife makes sure that she doesn't do that special swirly thing with the other guy, so I'm okay with her. I take pictures so that when we have arguments, I can show her what it would be like if she were to leave me. I always make sure I get the guys in goofy poses.

Answer 8

They are sick people. I would hurt someone over my husband when I said I do. It was meant just to him swingers aint happy with each other I guess. Then why get married right. They are sick and sooooooooo wrong

Answer 9

That is a very odd and usually unsuccessful lifestyle...
I would never share my woman with any man..
I do however...
Participate in 3somes with 2 women..
Always let your wife select & control the other woman...
The other woman is not yours to invite to the 3some...

Answer 10

part of me wants to say that it takes away the monotony of being with the same person night after night. married couples get into routines in their lives. and this includes their sex lives....sadly. i guess for some couples it alleviates that..if it makes them happier then woohoo for them.

Answer 11

It is downright immoral and wrong, player.