I told my close female friend how I felt about her, she said we'd never be together-not what I wanted to hear.We have a very close+intense friendship,spend a lot of time with each other,constant touch,trust,care bout etc She can't imagine me not being in her life/a part of it.
I'm finding this hard to accept as i believed we would get together 1 day. I've not spoken to her for 5 days now(feeling guilty,as she has txt asking why I've gone quiet)I'm not sure what to do?
I seem to be questioning the friendship as the reasons for us not going further was that:we are complete opposites,different views on sex\relationships,I keep winding her up,we give each other headaches,it wouldn't work out,wouldn't feel right for her,its just me-meaning?
Why are we friends then?How cud we have got so close and not go further?
Solutions, ideas?What should I do?
We did contemplate sleeping together(1 night stand)but she said it wouldn't feel right,it'll be wrong-so we r atrracted to each other
2006-11-10 11:27:08 · 23 answers · asked by roadtripman90 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
1)She still gets jealous when I mention other girls I’m interested in.WHY?
2)She believes I'm dating someone but she did NOT ask me about her at any point--seeing that we're friends.WHY NOT?
1 night stand was talked about us BOTH, not just my idea!
2006-11-10 11:27:31 · update #1
So just something that might help...this sounds like a bit of my past. I was best-friends with a guy for 7 months...we saw each other every day. He told me many of the same things your gf says. He wanted a girl friend...just not me! It hurt but I knew I would rather have him in my life as a "friend" than not at all. Then one day, we were watching a movie together and things changed. We cuddled way closer than we ever had before! He backed out after that, said, "we were drunk" but then a week later after I wouldn't let it go, we were dating. We're going on 3 years now. Other than the fact I give him crap for me "forcing" him into the relationship, he just needed to see me in a different light.
The "staying away" thing does work. Lay off for a few days, don't call her, make her realize she is missing you. I definitely sucked at that but it works. Good luck.
2006-11-10 11:32:35 · answer #1 · answered by eremitt 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you feel the need to make the relationship that you do have go any further? Think of her as one of your male friends just that she is indeed a female. I would call her up and ask her to hang out. Be how you used to be around her. I can understand that the touching and close trust that you have with her can be "sexually" frustrating and thus making you attracted to her, but you just need to accept that she only wants to be in fact friends. I don't however know what you mean by winding her up. Take it one day at a time like you used to. Do ever think this way with your male friends? probably not (you might but I'm assuming).
2006-11-10 11:35:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sound like you both have feelings for each other but as sister, brother or tight friendship. If you go further it can ruin the friendship you currently have. Are you ready to take that risk? Just continue to be her friend and see what happens in the future. Sometimes, it takes a few bad relationships to see a great relationship right in front of you. Be patient sweetie and respect her feelings, we always change our minds you know. Just a thought
2006-11-10 11:31:46 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy Shut Your Mouth 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IF you really value her as a friend then your gonna take her decision and live with it afterall you want HER to be happy in whatever she does ....right???
If she doesnt like you as her boyfriend but also values you as a friend then she should know to keep her distance....I understand your heartbroken you need time seperated (on your own time) and if you dont see how this could work : you and her only being friends then tell her!!!
Another thing that might be happening is that she likes you but is still confused as to what her true feelings are for you ....give her time maybe these five days you guys have been apart will help her understand that you are the one for her.....
HOPE I HELPED!!!!
THE PRODIGY<3
2006-11-10 11:34:37 · answer #4 · answered by WISSEN IST ENERGIE!!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's been having her cake and eating it - having a close intimate relationship but still playing it safe by not getting TOO close. She probably is jealous about you being with other girls - it's human nature - just because we don't want something doesn't mean we want other people to have it! (every heard the fable about the dog in the manger...?)
When people are in love they don't mess around, they get on with it. So sorry, but she doesn't love you; don't waste any more of your precious time on her. Draw a line under this and find someone who reciprocates your love - hope it works out for you.
2006-11-10 11:35:17 · answer #5 · answered by charleymac 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may feel she will lose her best friend.. you would be moving into a whole another type of relationship if you were to hook up.. What you have now with her and what she has with you, may be more important . you do not want to lose each other... sometimes friends who pursue a more intimate relationship regret it if it doesnt work out........ then the REAL friendship may die just as your intimate one.... talk together and discuss that option. I'd prefer keeping my very best friend... I wish you both the best of luck!
2006-11-10 11:35:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she likes you , but not ready to have sex mabe. I think she get 's jealous of you and other girls. If you to get so intense with each other just kiss her see what happens. If she freaks then say your so sorry. If she brings up the opposite thing tell her that normal people marry there opposite every flipin day. Good Luck!!
2006-11-10 11:34:17 · answer #7 · answered by julia l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This one bites hard , and I understand your hurting. You need to talk to her , tell her how you feel and ask her what is going on in her mind. Be honest and don't hold back anything . It is the only way you will find out . Take what ever she says in perspective and go with it. If it hurts you will get over it . If she is real and wants it to be more then what it is now then be thankful..
2006-11-10 11:32:45 · answer #8 · answered by StarShine G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she is afraid that she will get hurt if she gets to close...Has she seen you hurt any other girl before? If not maybe she doesn't want to hurt you..or maybe she loves having you as a friend and the thought of if you did get togetherand it didn't work out, that it will end you friendship .....I feel you need to talk to her because it will work out in the end if it is meant to be...Because if your as close as you say than maybe that works for her with out you going out I hope the best for you both but talk to her...
2006-11-10 11:37:08 · answer #9 · answered by parentsofbadmeandt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Complicated .I guess you could give her some space and let her miss you. Meanwhile put her out of your head for awhile and see if there are any other fish in the sea.The unfortunate thing is that you cannot control other people only yourself.You cannot make her agree to being with you.You may have to learn to live without her as your woman .
2006-11-10 11:31:08 · answer #10 · answered by Style Girl 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋