My wife and I have been married for about a year now. At first everything was great, but now it's getting really crappy. First, she puts her friends before always. Then, she acts as if whatever she is doing is justified and that I'm just jealous that she has friends. She is on the phone with her friends for like 4 hours at a time and then wonders why I don't talk to her much. She goes behind my back often. Whenever I tell her something, she will run and tell her friends. Then she has this gay friend that is flamboyant. I don't really agree with the lifestyle, and she gets pissed because I don't want to hang out with the guy. Everything seems to have to be catered to her no matter what. I have to drop whatever to do things with her, but it's not mutual. Having sex has pretty much been repetitive for about 5 months. We only can do it in one position. Which really sucks, so it seems like a chore almost. I love her and I don't want to leave, but I don't know what to do. I'm so lost......
2006-11-10 11:25:44 · 11 answers · asked by Mike 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have multiple problems that cannot be addressed in this forum. You have a power struggle going on and for some reason it sounds like your wife is trying to assert her individuality...I sense that her friends are influencing her negatively in response to something she has told them about you. Your marriage is going down hill fast and it's time to sit down with your wife and have a come to Jesus meeting. The two of you need to go to a marriage therapist that has strong values and believes in the institution of marriage. The problems you are facing today are a result of something that went wrong months ago...it's like the game dominos. Get some help and get it ASAP. Tell your wife how much you love her and ask her to go with you, if she won't go, you can still go alone until you decide what you are going to do. Don't make any decisions today because you are emotionally charged and upset. You can't think clearly and so your judgement is clouded. Get a therapist and get a more complete perspective.....
2006-11-10 11:54:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are several things that can be wrong. She could just be immature. Or maybe it is a lack of respect. Maybe she sees you has a bit of a door mat because you let her do what she wants and even though she treats you bad you still stay. She is your wife and not you child so you can't tell her what to do. But you can sit her down and discuss things with her. If she doesn't care enough about your relationship to do at least that much then maybe you should leave. Or at least have a trial separation. A marriage should be an adventure a journey the two of you take together. And you two have to find your way together. And if she doesn't want to go along for the ride then the hell with her. Life is way to short.
2006-11-10 11:46:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Date a man who particularly knows you and is inclined to paintings with you by way of your lack of confidence. Patient men who REALLY such as you for you regardless of what's going to stick with you despite the fact that you're insecure. Sometimes you are going to move by way of a few relationships earlier than the correct one comes alongside. Look for any one who is discreet, however too cocky. Someone who knows, however does not act like a jerk, intent jerks like something, fast love then heartbreak. Don't difference your insecurities simply so relationships would possibly not finish, do not difference and permit the correct man uncover you. Good good fortune.
2016-09-01 10:34:18 · answer #3 · answered by miyasato 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to remind your wife that a marriage consist of two people and each person is supposed to have input as to how things should go in the marriage. You need to make her aware that she is disrespecting you by ignoring your request to make more time for the two of you. As for her gay friend. Although you do not approve of his lifestyle your wife has a right to chose her own friends. As for her running an telling her friends everything you tell her, that needs to stop. Everything is not meant to be shared so she needs to develop some confidentiality for your relationship. If she wants the marriage to work she will work on the things that are bothering you but you have to work on the things that bothers her as well.
2006-11-10 11:34:13 · answer #4 · answered by d b 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well sounds like to me your having your newly marital issues. it will get worse before it get better the first 2-3 years of marriage are the worse you just have to be tough enough to stick it out. second you really need to stress to her how you feel or she will never take you serious have a sit down and make her listen to you don't scream at her talk in civil tones and explain how you feel. she might not know how much this is truly bothering you. if you never make it clear to her then how can she help fix it? let me know what happens.
2006-11-10 11:36:49 · answer #5 · answered by kate86 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are right to be mad, I have been in your shoes. And if you do decied to leave her, don't feel bad. When she put her friends before you and made sex a chore, she made her choice.I think you need to take so time away from her and think about whats best for you. Maybe getting married wasn't right for her. Whatever you decied to do good luck and don't hesitate to contact me, I have been through a divorce over the same thing.
2006-11-10 11:34:30 · answer #6 · answered by Pistol 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like she has the control in this relationship.
What ever you are doing is putting you in this situation.
Something needs to change
If you want some ideas on send me an email.
2006-11-10 11:43:16 · answer #7 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you need to put you foot down about the friends. she is way to carried away with her friends. the 4 hr. phone calls...my hubby would of yaked that damn cord out of the wall. so you are pretty easy going. some counseling too wouldn't hurt.
2006-11-10 11:30:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like a spoiled brat. Marriage is a union between 2 people, it is not a union where you should have to constantly worship her and her needs....i would give her the option to grow up or i would be moving to greener pastures
2006-11-10 11:31:26 · answer #9 · answered by classy&sassy 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
she is just walking all over you in them high heels , ain't she? there is a time for friends an a time for her husband. i would feel totally disrespected if i were there an my husband spent hours on in , on the phone!
2006-11-10 11:35:35 · answer #10 · answered by kierstead 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋