Here’s the situation: Recently a lot of my cousins have been announcing they are pregnant. One is 22 and unmarried, one is 15, one is 18 and unmarried and another is 19 and newly engaged. I’m 20 and have been married since I was 19. My husband and I want a baby so bad, we just found out we are finally expecting, but with everything going on lately I don’t want anybody to know. My family looks down on my cousins who are pregnant. I’m not saying I look down on them, even though I do feel marriage before kids, if planned. Sometimes it just happens though. I can’t bring myself to tell my mom, I guess I’m afraid she will also think I am too young. I will be almost 21 when the baby is born. We own our own home and are mature for our age. How would you react if you were a relative of mine? How would you feel and deal with this situation?
2006-11-10 10:51:45 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Don't feel guilty, please. You are married, have your own home, and are on the right track. If the time is right for you, then it's right and nobody has any right to tell you otherwise. Is there anyone in your family that you are close to, that you can have a heart to heart with? A lot of times when people know you've been trying for awhile, they are more sensitive towards you.
It's not about age, it's about emotional readiness, and ultimately it's about what you and your husband want. Be happy, and try not to let anyone step on your bliss. You'll be a great mom, and if anyone looks down on that, it's their loss. Plus, I imagine that those feelings will fade when your family sees your little one for the first time! Best of luck.
2006-11-10 10:56:36 · answer #1 · answered by kath_08012 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok so your family probably looks down because look how young they are 15..18?? and the others are not even married yet,so no wonder..i would be too. U are a little older and married with goals so im almost positive your mother will be excited and happy for you..this is a time when u need your mother, during your pregnancy is a blessing and you should tell her as soon as u know, she is going to be a grandmother, how exciting for the both of you. what do u have to lose? U and your husband should announce the good news during dinner or somewhere nice...Good luck and go for it!!
2006-11-10 18:58:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell them and if they shrug you then tell them that if they disapprove they don't need to be part of the babies life. That should set them straight. I know because that is what I had to do and now I am still the only one in my family that had a kid after I was married I had my first when I just turned 23. Now my family is glad because I have the only girl!! Be proud of your baby and who cares if your family thinks you are too young. You are married, own a home, and I'm guessing have a loving husband.
GOOD LUCK!!!!
2006-11-10 19:26:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be very happy for you.You are married and have a house of your own.The only thing would be are you financially stable?A baby costs alot of money and tons of time-but it is so worth it.Your cousins are not married-because you are I am sure your mom-and whatever other relative will see you in a different and better light!I think you should tell them-but my advice is to wait until at least 12 weeks because then the risk of miscarriage goes way down!
2006-11-10 19:00:13 · answer #4 · answered by mama of 2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It just may be that you are experiencing some anxiety. Go with your first feelings and be happy that you are pregnant! You have done all of the right steps to start a family. I am 27 and just beginning to have a family. Who says that I am smarter to wait? Maybe you want to live long enough to be a great grandmother? Just remember, the longer you wait, the less you see of your family tree. Be strong when you tell them so they have no doubts about you being ready to be parents (although you will always doubt yourself). Good luck and do something special to tell them!
2006-11-10 19:02:25 · answer #5 · answered by Andrea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congrats!
Don't feel guilty, but also don't feel compelled to share your news right away. It's okay to wait until you're ready to spread your good news.
I'm a young mom as well - my husband and I got married when I was 21 and we had our first baby a month & a half before I turned 23. It's perfectly fine to be a young mom if you're going to provide your child with a stable environment.
2006-11-10 19:01:59 · answer #6 · answered by Peter & Lora E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i were a relative of yours, i would be happy for you! i' am sorry that you feel the way you do, because becoming pregnant after you've been trying must feel like a great... joy for lack of another, better word to use! you are going to have to tell them, sooner or later, preferably sooner. if you wait until you show to tell them , they might be upset and hurt that you didn't tell them before. and not to sound mean or rude towards your family, you ARE the only one who is actually married, and living in your own house. it sounds like you are the most ready for the experience. your family may be expecting you to have children. good luck to you!! i hope they take it well!
2006-11-10 19:20:56 · answer #7 · answered by Duelen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think this is great for you two. you made the correct moves in your life and you shouldn't feel afraid to let people know that your expecting and that you planned it. I think they will be happy for concidering your nothing like your other relatives. It might be wise to wait a little before you say anything if your relatives news is still recent. Good luck.
2006-11-10 19:06:10 · answer #8 · answered by kate86 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What ever your family thinks of the others being pregnant and unwed is their thing, but dont let their problems keep you from your happiness. Go ahead and shout it out that your preg. Its wonderful news. Youve got a hudsband who supports you, your not asking anyone for anything. Surely your family wouldnt be surprised to find out your pregnant since you are married. Go ahead and be happy and let everyone know your happy. Congrats!!!!
2006-11-10 23:13:16 · answer #9 · answered by Baby boy blue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awe!~!!!! Im postive theyll be exciting its going to be there first GRANDBABY!!!! I think you should do it a really cute way like tell your parents you have a gift for them and let them unwrap it and have little booties in it..or something cute of that idea a diaper whatever!!! You're married you live on your own...you have your own life....those other people you mentioned are younger then you and proably dont have there own things...and theyre your cuzins so i wouldnt worry about it be HAPPY!!! Congratulations!!!!
2006-11-10 18:55:37 · answer #10 · answered by cutenwild1769 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋