Is Bi-Sexual - Considered Gay? Please Help!!!!?

Question

Let me ask this question. My brother says he's Bi.. but swears he's not gay. I explained to him that if he's having sexual thoughts about a man and wants to sleep with one, or is attracted, that he's gay. He says he's not Gay or homosexual, he's BI.
So what is it? Is he gay, if he's bi?

He said he's also attracted to women, and he's an encounter with a Male.
But swears he's not full fledged gay. I think he's gay. but that's just me, what do you think?

He also mentions he's for Gay Marriage.. I think he's Gay and parading to be BI because he doesn't want to admit he's completely attracted to Men.

I understand that BI means you like both genders, what I'm saying is, if he's having ANY THOUGHT to having sex or any kind of interacting with a male, that is gay..homosexual...

Answer 1

He's Bi if he says he is Bi and thats where it should end for you and anyone else. You don't get to decide for him, nor does anyone here.

Answer 2

Thoughts don't make you a homosexual. Having sex with someone of the same gender doesn't make you homosexual. Your brother can have sex with a hundred men and never be a homosexual. Being a homosexual isn't something you do - it is something you are (or aren't.) I may be on a passenger jet when the cockpit crew all pass out, and I may sit in the pilot's seat and land the plane with guidance from air traffic control, but that doesn't make me a pilot. I may wash and dry my kid's wounds, dress and bandage them, but that doesn't make me a Doctor either. You can't define homosexuality by something someone does. If your brother is attracted to both genders, he is bisexual. He's not gay, and he's not heterosexual. The problem with most of heterodom is that the only thing they see about gay people is in the bed under the sheets. They believe that one encounter, one stray thought automatically means that someone is gay. Sexuality is not static - it is ever changing, ever evolving for each of us. What is comfortable to some repulses others. But that's how it is meant to be.

Answer 3

If a person is really bi-sexual, I suppose they are lucky (although for the life of me....sex with a woman? ick).
But personally I think that "bi" is a cop out for a lot of guys. I think they do the "bi" thing because they see it as less stigmatizing than being gay. I know some guys who actually enjoy women, but they sure like getting head from a guy. Anyway, who cares? It is a label. If you enjoy dick or any other parts on a guy, there is omething homo about you. Praise the Lord!

Answer 4

If he tells you he is bisexual, then that is what he is, period. If he were gay, he would say so and not try to confuse you at all. He, more than anyone else, knows what his sexual orientation is. Just because he hasn't had sexual encounters with women does not make him gay. It's not up to you to label your brother as any sexual orientation; it's up to him -- and he has done so, so accept it.

A bisexual man usually does not like to be called "gay" because that is not what he is. Likewise, a gay man does not like to be called bisexual, because that is not what he is. You are angering your brother, not supporting him. Where are you getting this very false information that any man who is sexually interested in other men is gay? Even straight guys sometimes have sexual encounters with men.

A bisexual man goes through a stage where he questions if he is gay. Then he realizes he is not -- he still is attracted to women sexually and he knows he does not fit into the gay lifestyle and is not always fully accepted by the gay community. He knows he is something DIFFERENT, from both straight guys and gay guys.

Brother, you have to educate yourself on sexual orientation in men. Get on the internet and use key terms like "sexual orientation" and "men" or "bisexuality" and "men."

If you walked down the street and started to label men a sexual orientation that you think is true, just by guessing or observation, you would insult every guy you came across. Stop doing this to your brother. Validate your brother by accepting his orientation and don't make one up for him.

Answer 5

Some people consider bisexuality to be a mixture of homosexuality and heterosexuality, and others consider it to be a completely different sexual orientation in its own right.

The definition of gay (or homosexual) is a sexual and romantic attraction EXCLUSIVELY to members of the same sex as the individual. If your brother is attracted in any way to females, then his attraction to males is NON-EXCLUSIVE and hence he isn't gay/homosexual.

I assume you're heterosexual. Anyone who is heterosexual or homosexual cannot understand an individual who is attracted to both genders. Because society (and most people) identify as gay or straight, bisexuals tend to be misunderstood and "left out".

If your brother is bisexual, then it's no help whatsoever you trying to label him gay. A lot of bisexuals feel like outsiders in both the gay and straight communities. They have no community of their own, and can struggle to realise their own reality. In the absence of a community, role models, and general help - bisexuals usually have to invent their own ways of coming to terms with things. Your brother may feel he has a "gay and straight side" or a "bi side" (where he says that gender doesn't matter when choosing a partner).

A lot of bisexuals hate the ideas of having labels imposed on them. Your best bet would be to refrain from labelling your brother and leave it up to him.

Answer 6

There is hardly any man in this world who does not have a suppressed sexual thing for other men. The more open a society becomes about accepting it, the more men own up this part of them. In completely open societies, sexual need for men tends to score over sexual need for women, for in nature bonds only happen between the same.

The western style of 'accepting' same-sex desires as 'homosexual' is no acceptance at all. It is negative acceptance, a sophisticated form of discouraging it. For the homosexual space actually belongs to the traditional 'half-man, half-woman' character.

For the society to say that you can only like men by being gay, in effect means that you have to leave your manhood (the most treasured thing for men), and be known by the 'half-man/ half-woman' identity. When this is the only choice men have, most end up fighting and hating their same-sex needs.

(a) Women don't understand any of this, as they don't understand manhood and its importance for men. Neither do half-men, half-women males.

(b) Of course women, half-men/half women males who like men and some men tend to gain social power through this mechanism that denies straight men a space to like each other. Thus these people form what is known as the "vested interest group" in enforcing the 'gay' identity.

The vested interest group hold the entire social space today, while the real men are voiceless in these matters. Unfortunately, they prefer to keep quiet.

Thus a woman would conveninetly assume that since her brother (or any man for that matter) likes men he has to be 'gay'. Even bisexuality dents the artificial socio-sexual power that they wield over men. So they are the most ardent in enforcing the gay identity on men.

It is really not about liking men partially or exclusively. If you're not a half-man, half-woman you're not gay.

It is true that in order to avoid the 'gay' label men do pretend to be bisexual, although it is not necessary.

And in reality more than 90% of half-man, half-woman males are heterosexual. But the vested interest group will rather not talk about it. For it makes heterosexuals the real 'gay'.

Answer 7

Homosexual, by definition, means being attracted to the same gender as one's self.

Heterosexual, by definition, means being attracted to the opposite gender as one's self.

Bi-sexuals are attracted to both genders, in varying degrees. Therefore, technically, from a semantic point of view, bi-sexuals are both heterosexual AND homosexual.

Hope this helps.

Answer 8

To be generally gay you only go with men and not women he does both so fully agree with him that hes Bi

Answer 9

If he says he's also attracted to women, yes he's an "open minded" person. He wouldn't be a gay, he would be a bi. He can swing both ways and it's nice to know that he's honest with himself. It's hard to find people who can accept who they are! I admire that.

Answer 10

Semantics, does it really matter? Look it up in the dictionary if you want to know what they say.
I say "a rose by any other name tould smell as sweet"
See all the Shakespeare reveals a lot, in time.
I am straight and think it does not matter except for the STD which will week out many who can;t figure out that lethal means you will die.

Answer 11

Sounds to me more like he's really confused. I'm no expert but maybe a search on 'Same Sex Attraction' might help. It seems to be a category that covers things like this, or at least which psychologists find helpful in classifying the symptoms.