got involved with a marriaged man for 2 years. he promised to work it out and tell his wife when the time is right. and then a year passed by he said his motherinlaw is dying he cannot leave. and then half a year later his daughter is going to take an important test and he cannot leave and now he just cannot leave and left me. i feel absolutely fooled and also because this is his 3 third affair. and he is more then 10 years older than me, supposedly more experienced. i just feel furious and am planning to revenge. my body suffers a lot and i am ill all the time during these two years too, which makes me even more furious and revengeful. but people keep telllming to just forgive. i simmple cannot.
could people who were once unfortunately in similar situation advice? i don't want to hurt innocent people but he is hurting them again and again and i just cannot forgive him like nothing has happened. he needs to be punished!
2006-11-10 09:29:02 · 16 answers · asked by noodles 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i learned his other affairs after we were together. and he said in both cases those women dumped him in the end while he wanted to leave his wife. he knew from the beginning i was serious and he promised to work it out. admitting i was not 100% right, i still think he is knowingly hurting me and his family, again and again, which is what makes me so angry. he should be deserted and die lonely.
2006-11-10 09:55:53 · update #1
Noodles lets be honest here. If you were so concerned about the wife being hurt again and again you wouldn't have had an affair with her husband. You only want revenge to get back at him not to make sure he never hurts his wife again. In the unfortunate relationship I was in, I was told he was never going back to his estranged wife. After paying all of his bills, buying Christmas presents and birthday presents for his child, paying his doctor bills and paying for his family's plane trips from Europe to fly here to celebrate his birthday and Christmas what did he do to me? He left me with a broken heart to move back to Europe with his wife. I wanted so much revenge that it probably aged me 10 years. I know the anger yo are feeling. You have to let it go. You do have a choice in this matter to keep some dignity. If you did what you are thinking of doing what could it possibly do for you other than maybe 5 minutes of satisfaction or until you realized the horrible mistake you made by destroying other innocent people's lives. Please do not do anything you will regret. You made a decision to be involved with a married man. You are now paying the consequences. Be an adult and move on. Learn from this mistake. Make the best out of very bad decision on your part.
2006-11-10 09:51:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, he doesn't need to be punished at all. You should have known going into the situation that you're not supposed to mess with a married man.
You were both wrong for having the affair. He lied to you, and you believed him. You, meanwhile, made a fool out of his wife by helping him cheat on her. If you really want to be with a married person, wait until their relationship is over to even approach the situation or don't do it at all.
I sympathize with you, but it takes two to tango. You both knew what you were doing was wrong. You're angry and hurt, but you were just as wrong as he was. Suck it up and move on. Stop worrying about how to make his life miserable, and start living your own. Living well is the best revenge you can inflict upon anyone.
Go out and find your happiness. Leave him alone.
2006-11-10 17:34:51 · answer #2 · answered by Big G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What part of the words "married man" don't you get? How can you say that you were fooled? You KNEW he was married! If you truly believed that this man was going to leave his wife for you and/or wasn't screwing around with other women, then you're just pathetic. Yes, he deserves to be punished, but his wife and children do not! BTW, you also deserve to be punished because you knowingly had an affair with another woman's husband - so, I personally see this as you getting your just desserts and I don't feel any sympathy for you at all. Just get over it, learn the lesson about messin' with the husbands of other women, and move on to find a SINGLE man.
2006-11-11 16:55:24 · answer #3 · answered by Tammy B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a scumball and you should be glad to be rid of him!! He has hurt his family and you. But you also were a part of that. Why would you even consider being with someone who confessed to past affairs. Wasn't that a clue to you?! See a therapist if needed. But you must also take responsibility for your actions. Move on and chalk it up to a very big mistake and never put yourself in that position again. Older men taking advantage of younger women. There is a message here.
2006-11-10 19:49:12 · answer #4 · answered by Debcee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You knew he was married when you began the affair with him, so you obviously knew that the relationship was a dead-end.
You even said this was his 3rd affair, so why do you feel like you've been fooled? He never left his wife during the other affairs, did he?
Revenge is useless and wasted energy and will end up backfiring on you. It is not up to you to determine his fate.
Focus on yourself and move forward--away from this situation.
2006-11-10 17:37:21 · answer #5 · answered by txgirl_2_98 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wait just a minute here, honey. You knew he was married. Married men rarely leave their wives. You went in with your eyes opened. You have no one but yourself to blame for being used. Just walk away from the situation and move on. Revenge is not going to do anyone any good. Why hurt his family? They didn't do anything to you. Stop being selfish.
2006-11-10 17:36:47 · answer #6 · answered by sheeny 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You don't need to do anything crazy here. He will get his all own his own sooner or later dear. I was dumped be a married lady I was seeing just like you, so it can happen to us all.
She was all sweet and hot in bed. Then later on she was like...do I know you? What a bit**. But I have decided not to let her make me crazy. Just go on with your life. The best revenge is to have a good life.
2006-11-10 17:34:28 · answer #7 · answered by Ricky 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT. THAT IS THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO FOR U ITS NOT WORTH IT, IN TIME THE HEART HEALS, KEEP YOURSELF BUSY AND AVOIID HIM AT ALL COSTS, IF HE WAS SERIOUS HE WOULD HAVE LEFT BUT HE HAS HAD OTHER AFFAIRS AND WHILE WITH U AS WELL BE SMART AND END IT, UR R ONLY HURTING YOURSELF AND IN TIME FORGIVE HIM AND LET IT GO ITS NOT WORTH THE HURT AND ANGUISH. NOT LETTING GO OF THE PAIN ONLY GIVES HIM THE POWER AND DONT DO THAT. ONLY U CAN MAKE U HAPPY U LIVE WITH U 24/7. NOTHING GOOD WILL COME OF THIS THATS FOR SURE.GO BACK TO CHURCH AND TURN IT TO GOD HE WILL HELP U THRU THIS ONLY HE CAN. LOL 2 YA. MY PRAYERS R WITH U.....
2006-11-10 20:28:25 · answer #8 · answered by smiley283 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you as crazy as you sound or what? Why are you so angry? You got just what you wanted. Someone else's husband, and you're angry that he went back to his wife. DUH!!!!! Now you want to sound like you were his victim. PLEASE!! Give us all a break. The only victim's in this situation are his wife and kids. Those are the lives the two fo you are ruining with your extremely selfish behavior. You will get no sympathy from me. You had just better pray that you never know what it's like to be his wife. Then and only then will you know true pain, right now all you know is that STUPID IS, WHAT STUPID DOES.....
2006-11-10 17:46:57 · answer #9 · answered by sleepingbeauty123 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just think how his wife and children must feel. it kinda of is like this what you give is what you get you knew he was married form the beginging what made you think he was gonna leave his wife after 2 yrs if he didn't leave her after 1 month of being with you? obviously he's just a cheating dog and you are almost the same for contiueing the relationship for sa long after you knew he was married.
2006-11-10 18:13:28 · answer #10 · answered by juicy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋