another side of the sex before marriage question?

Question

if a couple have had sex numerous times before marriage and then the woman decides that the relationship should be based on love and not sex, is it fair then to the man for her not to give anything more than a duty screw. if you think its fair why, if u think its not fair why. please honest answers and nothing vulgar. also this is a mature couple no kids, no job problems of any sort

Answer 1

What...Let me see if I understand this? If I am getting it on with some gal, and then we decide to marry - she decides to cool things off? I am not going to walk away, I am going to run away from her. I can see where this is all headed.

Now she wants to cool it off, and then a few weeks after marriage she "suddenly decides" that she doesn't like sex at all. Whoooa - be careful, be very careful.

And what is a "duty screw"? Is that when the wife screws the man as he gives her the paycheck. Isn't that a form of prostitution?

Answer 2

Actually, no the Bible doesn't say that. In most of the Bible it says that if you have sex, or are raped, that's equivalent to "marriage", the man just has to pay off the girl's father. Women were property, and their wombs were their most important quality. Girls weren't supposed to have sex because then they wouldn't be worth as much, because their prospective "husbands" didn't want to be cuckholded. In Song of Solomon, however, presents a relationship that is much more like modern times. The woman is presented as an equal partner to the man, not property, not a walking womb. And the two lovers have sex before they are married, and their intimacy is celebrated, not condemned. Nowadays, women are recognized as equal to men, and sex doesn't "ruin" anyone. It doesn't make people worth less or more. Yes, it's nice to have sex with someone you love, but that's not required. If that's how you decide for yourself, then that's a-ok. Just don't look down on people who don't put the same requirement on themselves. Not having sex until marriage is really quite bizarre in modern times, where the marriage partners are equal and we know that people are more than just their genitals.

Answer 3

If that couple had sex numerous times before marriage, why all of a sudden did it stop being so many times? This does not make sense! Why did they have sex in the first place? why not wait until after they were married to have sex? Love and sex go together, a woman cannot have sex numerous times before marriage and then expect the man to be cut off to just once in awhile, after marriage, that isn't right!

Answer 4

In this scenario, there are more problems than just the sex.

If the couple is not married, sex is more than likely a factor that will introduce greater instability into an already shaky situation.

In the end, the woman should not give even a "duty screw" if she feels it violates her conscience or her will.

The number of times she may have agreed to sexual activity in the past is irrelevant to what she does now or in the future.

If you are pressuring her to continue the sexual contact when it is clear she has misgivings about it, then your insensitivity is a huge part of the problem.

Answer 5

Well both of the ppl have to agree, and it is true that relationship IS based on love, so i don't see anything wrong with the guy doesnt' disagree, if they do that probably means he needs sex more then her love. Which is like using her, and thats f-ed up :p. And if the girl know how to keep the man, she should have sex with the guy at least once in 3 months or something, cuz mostly if u dont the guy will get bored of the girl and cheat.

Answer 6

If she's only give him duty sex then she doesn't really love him that way. It depends on if they guy doesn't mind that his woman isn't in love with him.

I would have sex with my husband if I wasn't in the mood because I love him and I want him to be satisified, but it's a lot more often that it's a mutual thing, we both want to have sex (actually I can't think of a time where I wasn't brought into the mood by my husband).

Answer 7

I think if she wants to have a relationship based on love not sex. You should add the romance in and not necessarily shut off the bed life. Not ever night has to end in the bedroom and she was probably feeling pressure that it had to. Made tone it down but add actual dates with no expectations attached. They need to about it though and come to a mutual understanding

Answer 8

To me, this sudden epiphany that the woman had sounds more like an excuse not to have to have sex.

And yes, a relationship should be based on love and not sex, but they go hand in hand.

Answer 9

well sex is healthy
and creates a special bond between two people men and woman

now if she decide to not give it to you no more
then that sucks, a relationship is based on everything INCLUDING SEX, no if ans or butts, u dont take care of ur man or woman they will look for it somewhere else
and u know what sorry to say it will everntually happen

Answer 10

If the guy agrees then fine; but I dont think she should think its fair to cut off the booty because she wants to EXPERIMENT. Unless she really really feels he does not love her - I would have a problem with being told.."hon until we get married I am only gon give up the goodies once a week" I woud have MAJOR probs with it.