Got involved 2.5 yrs ago (used to work together, she has since left job). Shortly after sex began, she fell bigtime and proclaims to this day that I am the 1 true love of her life. At the time, I was in a serious (albeit troubled) relationship myself, and altho I was cheating on my GF (almost fiancee), and we were on way out, I did not to allow myself to become emotionally involved with my married lover (Ladies; this IS possible). This did not sit well with my lover, who went a bit nuts trying to convince me that we should leave our respective situations and be together. After like 6 mos of that, my relationship at home finally fell apart, and 6 months after that, I opened up; eventually SHE became the 1 true love of MY life. At this point she has admitted: her marriage was a hugemistake; she wasted 10 yrs of her life; she never wanted kids w anyone but me. I will marry her 2morrow, and get her preggers the next day, yet she is AFRAID to leave! PS They haven't had sex in 9 MOS!!!
2006-11-10 09:01:30 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
why can't she leave? for the same reason men don't leave either: they don't want to. staying with their partner is like their comfort zone; if they get out, where will they go- better yet, who will they go to? we all need and want stability and staying in the relationship provides this.
if you were her tru love as she proclaimed, then she would have left her partner even if you didn't but she chose to stay because she had no one to go to. Her fear could be because her partner has given her ultimatums and he has since gained "control" over her- meaning that he could be abusive (mentally) and she is just not strong enough to leave.
their sex life may or may not exist; she says that she made a huge mistake but until she has the strength and courage to leave her partner, she won't. Is she worth waiting around for? maybe but only you can answer that. Good luck!
2006-11-10 09:28:24 · answer #1 · answered by angel eyes 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you're stupid, sorry... How many guys do you think she had told the same thing before you came along? "You're my one true love" OH PHLEEEESE. I bet she said the same thing to her husband before things went sour. Some people are like that, they're always after "the next best thing", and deem everything else that has come before "a mistake". I can guarantee that you will be her next "mistake". "Oh, I should have never gotten involved with so and so, this was such a mistake! WAAAH!"
In the free country of the US of A (I assume this is where you live), do you think it's REALLY possible for someone to keep right on marrying a man, living with him and having kids with him if the whole time they TRULY didn't want to do it? C'mon! People THEMSELSVES make their choices, and denouncing one's own choices later on, when it's convenient to do so, is the most pathetic and cowardly thing to do.
2006-11-10 17:28:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So she says. I would be very careful. Sometimes you never know the true story till it is too late. Humans do lie, and lie very well. I am so sorry for you, you have a long hard and painful road ahead. I would find someone that you can talk through the situation with. A councilor on relationships or something.
2006-11-10 17:07:04 · answer #3 · answered by smwah345 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My guess is that both of you need to be involved with someone who is ultimately unavailable.
This is a pattern that allows people to avoid real intimacy because their is always someone ore something there to keep you apart.
From your description of your relationship history it doesn't sound like either of you have been terribly successful at creating stable relationships.
My advice is to move on, as painful as that would be, and find a way to learn the skills necessary for establishing lasting love.
2006-11-10 17:19:52 · answer #4 · answered by Dean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I dont believe for one second that she isn't sexing her husband. Second: THIS is what you get for getting involved with a married woman. If she wanted to leave this so called failed marriage she would have been gone. She is playing you for the fool and you are being a fool. Get a grip and move on.
2006-11-10 17:12:23 · answer #5 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but, both of you seem to be in a downfall of your lives. Maybe you both should take a break and see a marriage counselor separately.
You both have commitments right now and other relationships to take care of before you start a new one.
2006-11-10 17:08:36 · answer #6 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are stupid. Why did you let yourself get involved in a hopeless relationship with a woman who's not really available to be with you? You should ask yourself this question hard.
2006-11-10 17:37:19 · answer #7 · answered by Smith Smith 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guess what? She's MARRIED! She might not want to leave. And if she did leave today, marry you tomorrow, get pregnant the next day, would you worry about who she's sexing on the side?
2006-11-10 17:07:16 · answer #8 · answered by patricia s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There has to be a reason she won't leave--is it MONEY??
If her hubby is loaded, she'll probably never leave.
Break it off. It's an impossible situation----and a LOT of people can get hurt here!
2006-11-10 17:07:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"They haven't had sex in 9 months". Yeah, that's what she TELLS you!
She's married and if she has not left her husband by now, she's not ever going to leave.
2006-11-10 17:07:01 · answer #10 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋