My mom handled everything wrong?

Question

My mom had me traumatized by breaking my favorite toys, not listening to me when my father molested me, and slapping me when I said I didn't like the clothes she bought me. I tried to be nice about everything. She would come in my room and tramble over everything and tell me to clean it up. I think my mom hated me while I was living in her house. My mom is a total backstabber, I don't need her and neither do my children. She sucked as a mom and now as a grandparent. She even took back my birthday gift when I was leaving the house and said she bought it for the family even though I have pictures that prove it was for my birthday. My husband says I should move on and forget about them. My mother is always negative and a gossiper.She says she is going to die soon and that I don't care. I buy a gift even though I hardly had any money at the time from the dollar store with a picture of the three of us and she pointed it out to me. I don't nag her when she shops at a.j. wright for presents

I told her I wasn't going to a recent wedding and she flipped out on me saying I am a coward and I don't want to spend money. She is acting very immature. What should I do?

Answer 1

u r a good person and dont let ur vindictive mother tell u any diffrent cut all ties with her then she will realise what a good daughter that she has lost, sometimes i buy gifts from cheaper shops because i cant afford the more expencive stuff but my family and friends know about my financial situation and they like me believe that if someone buys u a gift then it comes from the heart i say stick with ur husband as it seems to me that he has ur best intrests at heart and loves u very much good luck xx

Answer 2

Hi, Yes, you are right, your mother has not shown that she is a nurturing mother at all and I know how much that hurts you. I spent years trying to get my mother's approval and love and was let down each and every time. There came a time when I had had enough and the last time she hurt me was the straw that broke the camels back. I divorced her and never spoke to her again. I no longer sent cards or gifts, nor did I phone her(she had moved across the country). Everyone told me that I should make the effort to break the estrangement, because I would feel terribly guilty when she died. I never made that effort and I didn't feel guilty after she died. Sounds very cold, I know, but after so many, many years of hurt and disappointment I finally decided I didn't need that hurt in my life. Only you will know if that is an option for you, but please know that you don't deserve to be abused or hurt and taking care of yourself should be priority. Good Luck and Be Happy!

Answer 3

Alright. I know it's hard, but try to act with understanding...Evn though she didn't do very well as a mum to judge by your words, Try to comprehend that a lot of people fail in their life for many reasons, and also suffer for that... but make suffer others with their failure. This is your mum's case... but you need to get rid of your hard feelings to her, despite is one of the most difficult things to do. If someone is not skilled for being a mum she fails, but still, don't let you die or abandoned... think that she maybe spent the greatest part of her life raising her kids (And maybe didn't do it the best way possible) but she has decided to put her life inbto that. If someone fails, people shouldn't judge... they should comprehend why and then forgive.
That way you'll close this chapter and move on to the next one, with peace of mind. And try to find the possitive side... now, after what you've been trough... you'll give a precious value to a nice family, and now that you're a mother I'm sure you don't want to make the same mistakes and you'll give your son/daughter a better chilshood.
Good luck and try some readding about... it always helps.

Answer 4

Like me I have left my mother behind, for the good of my family. I want them to know what a normal life is about with no crazyness. With her in it thats all there is, Im pregnant with my 2nd and my mother hasnt met any of her grandkids (mine or my sisters) She is in prison right now,(5 yrs in) and gets out next year. I will not see her or spend another minute with her in my life.

You will need to come to a decision that best suites you and that you can live with. I can live with mine because of my kids (and my sanity) Can you?


Good Luck, Take Care!

Answer 5

lay down the law and then seperate yourself from her. tell her either she stops treating you like that or else your going to stop contacting her, let her be miserable alone and away from her grand children. eventually when she gets tired of being such a over bearing *****, she will try to get back in touch with you. if not, you have nothing to lose because of all the grief she gives you.

Answer 6

my advice is that you shouldnt be around cynic people like that. im 14 and i aint goin to take that even from my mom. u should talk to her and tell her how u feel .tell her that she makes u feel like crap and that u cant stand that from her and that your sopposed to be there for u not against everything u do.a gift is a gift no matter how much it costs what matters is that it came from the heart.

Answer 7

i think you should keep her at a distance you don't want your children to be influence by this women and you don't need to be hurt by her any more don't follow her example and i'm sure your be fine

Answer 8

HOW COULD YOU STILL EVEN TALK TO YOUR MOTHER I WOULD HAVE ENDED THAT RELATIONSHIP AS SOON AS I LEFT HOME.