My brother is in a relationship with a girl who is always threatening to kill herself. She has tried several times over the past few years that they have been dating. He has tried to break up with her a few times but she always calls him crying saying shes going to try doing this or try doing that and he winds up going back to her. This isn't love anymore, its more like a hostage situation really. How do you get out of this without having the other person take their life? They are in their early 20s and have dated for about 3 years off and on I think. Any advice, serious only please, would be appreciated.
2006-11-10 08:24:26 · 9 answers · asked by cream 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He could try a slow process of separating. He could say he can't go out or come over because he's busy with work, school, a new class, hobbies, plans already ect... He could also encourage her to join a group or class that she would like ie: pottery...the list is endless. By her getting out and learning a new skill and meeting new people, it might rise her self esteem and make the break up easier.
Unless she's ready to accept the fact she has a problem she won't go to help groups so it's pointless for him to suggest that. And it doesn't sound that he's willing to go with her. Some people can over come this illness just by getting out there and finding something they enjoy.
2006-11-10 08:31:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure there are a lot of people who would disagree with me, but there is nothing that the "sane" person can do. You can't be responsible for another person's mental problems. You need to step back and realize that it's not your fault and you are not to blame for what might happen. He can't stay with her out of pity or concern that she might kill herself. It is more likely that she won't, but that she is simply manipulating him.
I would encourage him to back away gently, but to have no further contact with her. He should be easy on her as he tells her that her mental state and emotions are too frightening for him to endure and that he must break off communication. Perhaps he could have the names of a good counselor or program to give her out of concern for her well-being, but he must look out for himself.
It goes without saying that he needs to be careful during the break-up stage and thereafter for awhile because if she is really having a hard time, it is possible that she could want to harm him or to harm herself in front of him. These things happen - you read about them and hear about them on the news.
God Bless!
2006-11-10 08:34:27 · answer #2 · answered by Dovie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I recently lost a relative to suicide (3 mo ago) and trust me, when they say they will do it, they will. My advice to you is to tell your bro to get her help and STAT. He needs to stop staying with her out of pity, but more importantly, he needs to tell her family about her suicide attempts. Because one day, when you look up, she's going to do it. It's a really hard situation. He is not responsible for her actions. My relative was going through a rough time with his girlfriend and told her he was going to do it for about a week. She never told anyone. Came home and found he'd shot himself. Hardest thing I've ever dealt with. GET HER HELP and FAST. TELL HER FAMILY NOW.
2006-11-10 08:33:52 · answer #3 · answered by Mimi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave this girl the keys to a car/vehicle and 25 feet of garden hose. Tell her to get it over with so that you can get on with your lives. You may need to instruct her on the proper methodology of carbon monoxide induced death. Please explain to this girl that this is the easiest and cleanest way too off themself. They'll just go to sleep.
Now, if your brother is quick enough, he can still knock off a piece right after she dies. Ooh yes, necrophilia. Just tell him to be sure to turn the car off or he too would die.
2006-11-10 08:40:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
if shes so damn stupid as to want to kill herself try and get her some perfesionel help if that dont work make sure the gun in her hand is loaded,
2006-11-10 10:04:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she really wanted to die, she would be dead by now. She's using this tactic to keep your brother in line. And why not? It's working. He needs to walk away and not look back.
2006-11-10 09:29:32 · answer #6 · answered by sheeny 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She is manipulating him with attempting suicides. He is being held hostage. Just leave, if she dies, so be it. She is the stupid one. No one will blame him.
2006-11-12 03:17:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
im no psychiatrist.. but if she also threatens to kill herself, let her do it.. i bet most of gfs say that and they end up not doin it.. even if they do , they just cut themselves slighly.. so i guess if he doesnt love her and he can live without her,, in case she dies.. then yeah let him break up..
2006-11-10 08:39:22 · answer #8 · answered by boredtodeath 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
shes tring to get attention leave her whatever happens is inevitable
2006-11-10 09:10:01 · answer #9 · answered by sticbaby03 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋