We are facing some serious allegations from his ex- about the children and it is putting a BIG strain in our marriage. He constantly accuses me of cheating and Im commited to this marriage. I don't know what else I can do to prove my love or commitment to him. I know he is damaged from his ex for her cheating on him but he can't keep using this. Its been seven years and I don't know if I can make it another 7. his kids are 20-18-12-10. When is it time to say Im DONE...? I do love him and his children but should I act on his request this time? I feel if I go then he'll stop me like he has before after telling me this. This is a very serious matter and Im unable to tolerate his behavior. Please help.. encourage me to hang in there or to pack up and go! Im confused...
2006-11-10 08:03:12 · 11 answers · asked by anabanana 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Follow your gut instincts. It will guide you to making the right decision. Re-evaluate your whole life together. Has there been more good than bad or vise versa. Are you happy and content everyday? Do you constantly have to think about your future with him? 7 years is a long time. But sometimes it isn't healthy to just stay in the relationship because of the kids and especially if you did not bore them. People can be very hard-headed and have a one track mind. If you are constantly having to argue with him and tell him how committed you are to him and the marriage and it doesn't get through to him then you, as a woman, have to figure that one out. It is a no brainer. Some people are just really damaged by their past. If talking one on one to each other for 7 years doesn't help and counseling failed, then sometimes you just need to do what you have to do. Life will go on and it will not be the end of the world. Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side. Re-evalute and think about it. Follow your gut instincts.
2006-11-12 04:50:38 · answer #1 · answered by Jen S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you can't keep on living the way things are going now (which is not true since you have done it for 7 years you can do it for 70 more) The real question is ... can you live without him? I mean totally without him, never see him again, never get jealous if you here he is with another woman. If you can do these things then you should walk away. If your heart feels like it is sinking when you think about these things then you should stay. You knew he had 4 kids, you knew that he had an ex. These are not excuses to leave. And besides if you leave, his ex will think she won and will be dancing around doing the happy dance because she screwed up your husbands life again.
2006-11-10 16:23:44 · answer #2 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I"m not going to encourage you to stay another seven when you've been through hell the first seven. Get the heck out of this marriage now.
Tell the kids your sorry, they probably already know what;'s going on and can't figure why your still there.
2006-11-10 16:10:52 · answer #3 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you two need to seek counseling if you are really committed to this relationship. He has no right to accuse you of cheating, and that is the behavior of a controlling man. If he won't get help, you have every right to leave and find a healthy relationship.
2006-11-10 16:36:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the main problem is his jealousy and/or insecurity. I suggest you both start counseling, and if he won't go, go on your own. It will at least help you get yourself straight and decide what to do.
If he is not willing to own 50% of the marriage, it's already over and you should leave. He needs to be as committed to the relationship as you are.
2006-11-10 16:33:48 · answer #5 · answered by Countess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would of left a long time ago. Seven yrs of not trusting you. The kids aren't yours but still them them that you can't stay there any longer. It will hurt but time DOES heal. Get out and make a nice quiet life for yourself as life is too short to live it with someone that doesn't trust you.
2006-11-10 16:31:56 · answer #6 · answered by marlene g 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know sometimes if men are looking for a big trouble without any reason or just making reason to have something to fight it means there is another party.But if you can prove that you are not cheating and he still insist that you are cheating then calm down and let him calm down and discuss quietly.Ask him if he is still interested to work out your marriage.
2006-11-10 16:36:58 · answer #7 · answered by I_hate_Debtfreedomcanada 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 7 years he still hasn't figured out that he married a faithful woman but would rather treat her badly. Leave, he's not cherishing what he has.
2006-11-10 16:17:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many people in your shoes would be jealous, if none of those children are yours. The answer is simple/easy/quick; just leave. Why stay if the door is open? you can just walk out. I'd be gone.
2006-11-10 16:10:29 · answer #9 · answered by Ann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a delicate situation, the best advice I can give to you is follow your heart it will not steer you wrong and regardless if you love someone, sometimes thats not enough to stay in there
2006-11-10 16:18:08 · answer #10 · answered by mrclas 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋