My son keeps on getting picked on by the popular kids, they made him cry today, what should he do?

Question

Please help us!

Answer 1

You need to booster his confidence from home. You cant take the bullies away, but you can help him learn new ways to deal with them.

He doesnt have to be effected by their cruelity on an emotional level. He needs to know that he can seek protection from not only the school staff, but the police if he feels his person is in danger.

I got the crap kicked out of me all the time in school. Was made to sit alone at my own table at lunch while everyone else threw food and things at me, had used toilet paper stuck to me all the time, gum put in my hair, my stuff thrown out the windows.... EVERY DAY.

He can either learn to be the victem, or learn to not be effected by it.

If all else fails, take him out of school, home school him, get him more confidence in himself and his abilities, and put him back in school, or even in a different school.

Either way he has to learn how to deal with it without hate or pitty.

Its the only way to survive it. Trust me, I know what iam talking about.

Answer 2

As a kid in school I used to get picked on too. By the time I was in my sophmore year in HS I was one of the most popular girls in the school. And I went to school in Eugene, OR. My parents always encouraged me that I was a great kid and that if other people made fun or picked on me that it was just because they were jealous. If your kid isn't in any type of extra curricular activity maybe you could try to interest him in a sport or band or something that he could make some good friends at. But most of all listen to what your son is telling you. Maybe you could even talk to some of the teachers. But don't do this if it would be detremental to his image in the eyes of other students. Just let him feel like he is worth something and be sure to tell him you love him. You probably already do but a little more can never hurt. You seem like a good parent if you are worried enough to ask people for advice. Hope that this gets worked out.

Answer 3

Your son must be having a terrible time I am sorry. I know that when it comes to bullying most people mistake the 'conflict' for the bullying itself. It sounds like your son has not experienced conflict as yet, but merely verbal bullying?
Bullying is an abuse of power. The question is to determine what power they THINK they have, or what power your son is ALLOWING them to have. They are obviously targeting him for a reason and he needs to challenge their 'power'.
THE USE OF CONFLICT WILL ABSOLUTELY NOT WORK.

It is important that these children all be called together through a mediator at the school. Getting parents involved is a bad idea as they want to fight their children's battles and it becomes about them and not about the kids anymore.

The bullies must be confronted by your son, no matter how scared he is. He must regain his power. He must, in the presence of a mediator, tell them that they are hurting him. He cannot tell them that what they are doing is wrong, as this is argueable. What is wrong to you may be right to me.
But noone can argue with how you feel, noone can feel your pain or tell you that you feel otherwise. By telling the bullies how he is hurting and how they make him feel they have got to own what they have done. They have to take accountability for someone's feelings. The mediator can ask how they [the bullies] feel and ask what they are going to do to help your son not feel this way.

Believe it or not, bullies often see the physical consequences of what they do but do not realise what they are doing emotionally. They are oblivious. They find it funny and honestly believe that they are not injuring that person's feelings. They feel that scars will heal. It is when they have to take responsibility for emotion and both parties are brought to a level playing field that we eradicate bullying. If your son gets the upper hand and these boys are in trouble, your son could turn into the potential bully as he could abuse power over them. Even teachers are bullies as they have emense power which they abuse and use to manipulate children.

I really hope that this has made sense to you and that it will help you. I am an eduactor and this method has solved a number of bullying cases that we have had.

Answer 4

whatever you do, don't talk with the principal or his teachers unless you REALLY need to. if these popular kids find out that the teachers are keeping an eye on them, they will start teasing your son about how he can't fight for himself. tell him to just 'ignore' them, he'll say that he can't (or something along those lines), but tell him to try his hardest. it might take a few days (or even a week or two) for the popular kids to leave him alone, but it should work. when he just ignores them, they're not getting what they ultimately want, which is for your son to be upset. when they don't get that, they'll just move on and start picking on the next shy or defenseless kid. don't tell your son to 'stand up for himself' in the form of verbally fighting back, or making fun of them. if these kids are bullies, they usually have issues with their home life or insecurities, and if your son starts picking on them, they'll hate him even more. don't give them something to hold against him. whatever you do, don't talk to the school. he'll never live that down. good luck! =)

Answer 5

You should go see the head teacher at the school and discuss whats been happening. Schools now a days have a no tolerence view to bullying and so they should. If that fails then the board of education should be informed.

Bullies are cowards as we all know teach him to fight back, enrol him in karate or such, this will not only build his confidence but will learn him how to defend himself.


Hope everything works out well for him xx

Answer 6

So sorry to hear about your boy. Poor little sod. I hate bullies more than anything. The way to deal with bullies is to make an example of them by targetting the ring leader.
If your son goes to the teachers he could land up making things worse for himself.
He should fight back by hitting the ringleader hard in the nose with a palm strike. The pain of this is unbearable. If he does this hard enough it will knock the b*stard for 6! He may get into trouble for this but its worth it mate believe me . I dont condone violence but sometimes this is the only language these little p*icks understand .

Answer 7

I think it probably depends on how old he is, and if the kids are using violence. If they are using words, simply laughing with the insults works many times (make sure that he knows not to take their insults seriously - they just like to watch people suffer), and a lot of the times when the kid laughs, they will either laugh or just not pick on him as often because their insults don't make him angry anymore. He shouldn't laught AT them, though, as this might anger him; it has to be more an "I can handle your insults as a joke" laugh. If it is violent, though, he really needs to report it to the principal/other officials because that could be dangerous. Trying to fight back physically might only cause problems (of course tell him to defend himself, but never start the physical fighting).

Answer 8

Let him know that "popularity" is a very fleeting, temporary thing. This might not seem to help right now, but it is true. School age times may seem one way as far as "popularity" and "success", but typically those who were not as popular in school age, become more successful later in life. Jealousy over that sometimes initiates the attacks.

Your son is likely a special and sensitive boy. Let him know that these kids hurting him are more scared inside than he is.

Answer 9

hi have you tried to talk to the teacher at his chool or the head of the school my son suffered the same stuff at school a few weeks ago and the teacher did alot to help,it is the school duty to protect you son while he in there care,and no child should have to suffer from the hands of bully,also ask you son to show you the kids that are picking on him,see if a word in the kids mum and dad ears may help to as they should be upset of the fact there child is bulling,

Answer 10

Well, a lot of people go through this, maybe he should stick up for himself like take boxing or something, or just try to ignore it one day it will be over (school) and the popular kids will then probably be pumping his gas, but you could do things with him to build his self-esteem or do special things with him to make him feel better when he's down

Answer 11

As an adult strongly support him in these circumstances and deal with the issue of the popular kids making him cry and put a stop to the bullying straightaway