i need help with some guy advice?

Question

well i have been with my boyfriend for 6 years and we have 2 beatuifull children and everything was very good at first tell about 3 years ago he stared cheating on me well then he is drinking alot more he is really mean to me cussing at me saying the meanest things well he started getting really bad about the house we have a 5 year old and a 2 year old and he wants the house to be spotless he works full time but he yells at me if stuff is not done and he sets in front of the coumpter or big screen tv and ignores me and his kids and yell makes us go out of the living room on mondays so he can watch his wrestling and football does anyone have any advice for me or what would you call someone that thinks everything should be neat and clean and spotless please help

Answer 1

if you are not happy either are your children! how much more abuse are willing to take? think about a separation period to see if he can change his ways. if it's meant to be than it will be.

Answer 2

To me it sounds like your husband may have OCD obsessive compulsive disorder but other than that he sounds like a prick who also has a drinking problem. Stop and ask yourself when the last time you were happy together, really truly happy and if that answer is anything other than earlier today or yesterday... such as maybe three years ago, than you need to start thinking about leaving him. I know that it's going to be hard because of the kids and I'm not going to act like one of those people who think that you can just up and leave, I understand that when there are kids are on board, you try to avoid rocking the boat too much. If I were you, I would stay with him for now, but start putting aside money, get your kids onto day care waiting lists, get custody of them which will be really easy since you're not married, and then when you feel emotionally and financially prepared to set out on your own, then you can have the talk with him and either way that it goes, you'll know that you and your kids will be okay. If you're going to stay together than his attitude really needs to change because the emotional abuse that he's inflicting on you and the children is going to cause a lot of psychological damage in the long run. I would also suggest that if you are going to stay together, for one thing, he'd have to quit drinking and begin participating in AA, take parenting classes or workshops regarding behavior theory in children so that he understands the effect that his negative attitude is having on the kids, and also doing some relationship counseling, preferrably with an MD so that if he does have OCD, he can get on some lamictal or zyprexa.

Answer 3

You are expressing a lot of HIS unhappiness. Do you want this to work? If keeping the house clean and leaving him to enjoy his Monday night football is all he's asking for, just give him that (especially if you're normally at home). It doesn't sound like he's asking for more than a normal guy, he's just yelling for it. How did it come to that? Is he stressed? Ask him if he feels ok when he gets upset -- course he'll probably go off on a tirade of everything wrong. Let him vent. Bring him an asprin and a beer. Tell him you know he's upset. Make him a meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Rub his feet. If you don't want to do this ... you don't want a husband. You don't want to be a wife. And that's what he's feeling unhappy about ...

Answer 4

This is another one of those 'I got married/I had children before 25' things. Stats show that 85% of marriages or relationships with children that were formed before the age of 25, FAIL. The time period between 18 and 25 are the 'flirt-tease-taste-test' period and unless you are 100% sure that he/she is mister right, then you should NOT plan anything long-term. Wait till you're older and more responsible!

In your current situation, I'd say go for some councilling if you have the energy left to try and save this. If you don't put effort into trying to save this, then think about how traumitized your children will be, living under a divorce. One will probably turn out gay, and the other one a drug-addict or a suicide-case. So work at this and try to save it. For the kids.

Answer 5

your settling for much less than u deserve in life, because u fear abandonment, he is also a controlling person who feels entitled to whatever, with no regard to u. personally i would try and find a way to move on, abuse just escalates and gets worse as time goes on. he treats u like this because he is unhappy with himself. try and find a way out of this, even if u have to start new, are u really happy with your life, if not make some changes, even if it means u have to leave.

Answer 6

I think you've gotten plenty of respectable commentary here, but I agree - this is a bad situation for you, and you need to take action.

Answer 7

It's obvious that that dumba** (with all due respect) isn't treating you like a man should, you need a real man that can love you not boss you and your little ones around.

Answer 8

I don't understand why you would have kids with a guy who couldn't even marry you, and who cheated on you.

Get away from him - you deserve better.

Answer 9

Do you not see how you are supposed to get married when you have children?

Answer 10

Oh, this is an easy one. Do you have to even ask? Leave is jerk a**!