I love my family. There is my Grandmother who raised me and cared for me, and who loves my wife. There is my brother who was the person I was closest to growing up, the first person who I came out to, he always told gay jokes with me to let me know he supported me when no one else knew. They were not mean or bashing, but they were pretty dirty!
Then there are my in-laws, and I love them too! They are big Bible Beaters, but have adopted a “Judge not lest ye be judged” attitude to our marriage and have come to treat me like the girly daughter that they never had. We try to not be overly affectionate in front of them, not rub it in their faces – so they see us just as “Sandy & ____” and we all have a silent agreement to just leave it in the back round. We are perfectly happy with this arrangement (after all, I wouldn’t make out in front of my in-laws even if I was straight!)
All is great right? Wrong!
Everyone is coming to my house for Thanksgiving! It would normally be fine, everyone we love and that loves us – here is the problem: My Brother’s Jokes.
My Bro has a few mental issues that kind of inhibit his ability to know a time and a place for everything. He swears like a sailor and tells really perverted gay jokes constantly. He no longer whispers them either – I’ve been out for a while. He thinks he’s hilarious. My in-laws have already met him once (for 10 minutes) and know what to expect…but at the same time I don’t want Thanksgiving to be unhappy or uncomfortable for anyone. My Mother-in-Law has suggested I keep the Duct Tape handy to take care of his mouth, so she is trying to be funny about things. My bro does not respond to pleading, discussion, or reason...and he sneers whenever someone says “watch your mouth”. Grampie is dead, there is no father figure anymore, and he is in his 20’s so he should no better.
What do I do to keep a happy holiday? We have a very small Apartment!
2006-11-10 07:30:35 · 2 answers · asked by Alexis 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
YOUR HOUSE. YOUR RULES.
Request your brother to refrain from telling jokes in front of your in-laws. He must be able to do this at other events (like at church, weddings, funerals) and at work (if not he must be a sexual harassment lawyers dream come true).
If he feels he is unable to comply with YOUR HOUSE YOUR RULES then please either do not attend or show up after your in-laws have left, where he can open the trap up.
There will be no pleading, discussion or reasoning. I do not tolerate fowl language during working hours from co-workers and if they do not like it they know they can get a job somewhere else.
Also inform him the the punishment could be you showing everyone pictures of him as a baby (naked on the bearskin rug or wearing your dresses), all of which either he will deny you have or be scared you really will. If you don't tell him paint shop pro works wonders on the old family pictures.
Good luck
2006-11-14 06:47:21 · answer #1 · answered by dillon Y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if your brother truely has some mental problems then I would continue to reiterate to your in-laws that this is something that he can not always control and does not really comprehend. I would remind your brother that if his jokes get out of hand you will ask him to leave the table and eat elsewhere and follow through with it if it gets out of hand. This may sound harsh but I think that there are some times when you really do have to think about others and what is going to be offensive to them. Good luck, girl!
2006-11-10 16:00:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋