what should i do? my 11 month old keeps hitting me whenever i scold her gently.?

Question

my baby girl is 11 months old and is usually pretty good. but lately whenever i scold her about something or take her hand away from something she cant have she slaps me, usually in the face. i scold her again and she just slaps me again. i dont want to slap her back because she doesnt understand the consequences yet . also, if she gets in trouble for hitting me and then i turn around and do the same thing to her that will confuse her. ive also tried distracting her with toys but she crawls back over to me and hits my leg. she also slaps her 14 yr old sister in the face whenever she (the sister) tries to give her a kiss. my older daughter gets so upset and the baby just laughs. HELP!!!!

Answer 1

Actually, I'm starting to think that hitting back would work wonders. I mean, kids her age bite because they don't realize it hurts and when they are bit back they stop. In all seriousness, slap her hands when she hits you. One or two times of that will make her realize that hitting hurts and if she doesn't want to be hit herself--then she shouldn't hit you.

Answer 2

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RE:
what should i do? my 11 month old keeps hitting me whenever i scold her gently.?
my baby girl is 11 months old and is usually pretty good. but lately whenever i scold her about something or take her hand away from something she cant have she slaps me, usually in the face. i scold her again and she just slaps me again. i dont want to slap her back because she doesnt understand...

Answer 3

My daughter, who just turned one, exhibits the same sort of behavior. Well, she doesnt exactly slap, she more like pushes sharply. I tell her that sort of behaviour is unacceptable, and that's pretty much all you can do at this age I think. The fact that they have a smile on their face and are laughing about it means they think it is a game. Sorta like when they drop things on the floor and watch to see if you'll pick it up, and cry if you dont - you give it back, only for them to throw it on the floor again. My daughter doesnt push me away when I try to kiss her, but she does with her adorable cousins who try to hug and kiss her. She's not laughing with them though, she seriously wants her space! Babies dont know how to handle their emotions, which are apparently all over the place, but you are right to think hitting her back wont accomplish anything except scaring her perhaps into a crying fit. With time I'm sure she will come to accept that hitting isnt proper, and will stop.

And, uh, no... my girl has never seen someone be slapped before. This is normal baby behaviour, I think!

Answer 4

When she slaps you take her hand and say "No hitting" in a very firm very no nonsense voice do not scream but make sure your voice is very firm very definate... Then immediately place her in a time out situation... Watch her carefully if she trys to leave the time out spot immediately put her back and say "No you have time out because you hit"... Make the time out short 1-2 minutes... But make sure she knows why she is there...

Be vigilant and make sure that everyone in the family knows the pla is a very firm "No hitting", gently taking hand so she can not hit again and an immediate time out (same spot every time)...

Your youngest dughter has learned somewhere along the way that hitting gains her immediate attention you have to change her view so she knows hitting will only gain her time out and a stern "NO"... Try to keep an eye out because at some point your daughter is going to raise her hand to hit and will then pause... Jump on it... Tell her "Very good you didn't hit" Praise the change in behavior as quickly as you recognize it.. Praise the good behavior, Time out the poor behavior... Your daughter will quickly modify her behavior to gain the praise..

Consistancy, Vigilance, and Team Work... Make your older child your helper make sure she knows the exact plan of action...

At 11 months your daught does understand that slapping is an action and her action is illiciting a response... Cause/effect... Wait no longer to change the effect so you can stop the cause... Don't fool yourself into thinking she is too young to understand consequences.. She understands already her actions illicit a reaction the effect is a consequence of the cause...

Answer 5

Welcome to toddlerhood! I have a 15 month old that thinks that No means Yes. She, too, slaps and is now starting to bite when she doesn't get her way. Other than that, she's a really layed back little girl.

What I have been doing is taking her hand and gently tapping it saying in a firm voice "No...no hitting!" Or I will gently tap her mouth (not enough to make her cry, but to startle her) and tell her "No, no biting....that hurts!" Sometimes it works. You just need to be CONSISTANT in whatever that you try. Otherwise, your child won't know that you mean business.

Answer 6

And some say children learn violence... My daughter, now 2, went through that phase. I would take her hand in a firm, but painless grip, and tell her no hitting in a very sharp voice. It only took a few times for this to work. Children learn quickly the difference between right and wrong, just as they learn the difference between acceptable behavior and discipline. My daughter knows that hitting is wrong, but she also knows what a spanking is. They are two distinctly different words. The older daughter should do the same thing, conveying that hitting, particularly in the face, is unacceptable behavior. The phase shouldn't last too long. Good luck.

Answer 7

I am trying to deal with the slapping thing with my 9 month old. I have begun to realize this, I think that he thinks my reaction to the slap (and hair pulling) is funny. So lately I just put his arms to the side and tell him gently no slapping, that hurts. I don't make a huge deal of it or sound real upset or make any face (unless it really hurts and I can't help it) and since he hasn't been getting a big reaction he seems to be loosing interest. Good Luck

Answer 8

You're going to have to do more than just gently scold her, for her to get the point. B/c obviously she's not getting it that way. While it's true that she doesn't cognitively understand a consequence for her actions, she can understand response to stimuli, like Pavlov's dogs. If even a dog can be conditioned to respond to a certain stimulus, then certainly a human baby can. If you promptly tell her "No! That hurts!" firmly and then pop her hand, and do this EVERY time, she will eventually get the point--"if I slap Mommy or my sister, it hurts!" Of course you're not going to hurt her severely enough to leave a mark or anything like that. You're going to hardly hurt her at all. What you're doing is providing negative reinforcement for her actions. She will understand that she is going to experience discomfort (a pop on the hand) when she does that action (slapping you or her sister). If you pop her hand and tell her "No! We do not hit. That hurts!"...and she immediately does it a second time, remove her from the situation and put her in her bed. She will howl. Not because you are hurting her in any way, but because she is not getting her way--she's not being allowed to go around hitting. While she's throwing her fit, you tell her gently but firmly: "When you are quiet, I will come get you. No fits." And walk away. You will have to repeat these two steps a few times. She will not get it the first time. Or the second or third. lol But if you are CONSISTENT with this routine, she will eventually learn that throwing that fit will not get her out of her bed/crib any faster. Now once she is quiet in her crib, and you can tell it's not just a small break between howls, immediately go to her and say "Good girl!! You're being quiet! You're not throwing any fits. Good job!" And lift her out and give her a big hug. This is positive reinforcement. In the future when you see her about to hit, say her name in that motherly warning voice you know you have LOL, and say "No hitting!" If she stops, you praise her and maybe give her a hug. But if she keeps right on going, follow the above procedures. Good luck.

Hope all this has helped a little. I've worked with children for years, and have a daughter of my own. She's five months old, and is beginning to understand "no fits!" LOL

Answer 9

When my daughter went through this phase, I would swat her butt and tell her in a loud voice, "YOU DON'T HIT PEOPLE!" and if necessary, I would smack her hands. At 11 months old, she has some inkling that hitting like she is, is wrong since she doesn't see her family hitting each other. You just have to get your point across. The sooner you get the point across, the sooner this phase will pass. My doctor said that this is a normal rite of passage.

Answer 10

If she hits you slap her gently on the hand she used. This isn't child abuse. You are just showing her what it feels like. Say "No" when you do this, "That hurts me, see what it feels like." You might only have to do this a few times. My little sister had a horrible biting problem she would draw blood!!! After over a year of this and many attacks even to none family members (very embarrassing), my Dad finally hit the roof and took her out to the shed grabbed his wrench and threatened to pull every last one of her teeth out unless whe promised never to bite anyone again. Guess what she never did again! I think my Dad went a little over the top, he was born in 1927.

Studies argue corporal punishment both ways. But remember your just smacking the hand she used to hit you.

If you want the Christian approach, you could turn the other cheek and let her smack that until she realizes its futile, But I would think a child would think that was a sort of Peek-a-boo game.

Best of Luck,

And remember no matter what you do when she becomes a teenager it was wrong and all her problems are your fault.
hehehehe

Answer 11

My son started doing that a few months ago. Slapping his hands only made him do it more. So when he started to hit (or did hit), I would hold his hand and say firmly "No hitting". Then I would show him how he could touch me. I would help him pat my cheek and stroke my arm while telling him "Gentle touches". It has worked quite well.

Last weekend, we took him to visit some family who had a small dog. When he started to get a bit rough with her, we would remind him "Gentle touches" and he would pat her tummy.

She doesn't know what she's doing hurts, but she also doesn't know what TO do. I think it's better to show her how to be gentle than reinforce the hitting.