I have been with my partner for 6 years and we have a little boy. I have suspected for about a year that my partner was cheating on me due to changes in his behaviour (moodiness/blaming me for anything when it goes wrong/constant arguments). My suspicions grew so I started checking things like his phone/email/wallet etc. I found sexually explicit texts from his best friend on his phone and when I confronted him he said his friend had a crush on him. I foolishly gave him the benefit of the doubt but have since found his details on a gay dating website and outgoing texts on his phone calling his friend "sexy eyes" and "you're more sexy than me". So I was right and now I know he lied. The main problem is I love him and want to stay a family, but how can I trust him? I know that he loves me and still finds me sexually attractive but I'm female and if he wants sex with men how can I compete? Please any opinions will help me make my mind up, has anyone has been through anything similar?
2006-11-10 06:48:52 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I've been asked if I always suspected and no I didn't. I would like to thank everyone so far for your help, I still haven't come to any conclusions because there is a lot at stake and I don't need to rush this right now because now I've got over the shock I can think more clearly. Has anyone been through this?? How do I tell him "I know" without him turning things on me for snooping in his stuff?
2006-11-11 04:33:55 · update #1
the issue is NOT the sexual behavior- it is the deceit and lying. Bisexuals are not exempt from telling the truth or expressing honesty in a relationship.
You have been violated in a number of ways- all of them need to be addressed -the sooner the better!
2006-11-10 06:53:08 · answer #1 · answered by hiding1959 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cheating no matter who it is with is still cheating. But unfortunately if he is cheating with a man you may way to confront him about it (sensitively) and it could be that he didn't know about his bisexual/gay tendancies untill now.
It is a touchy subject, but be ferm and tell him about the proof you have found.
If it isn't a new thing and he has been bisexual from day one, then you deserve better. He is just plain cheating on you at that point and he doesnt deserve the tip toeing around the subject.
You need to confront him, find out what is going on and if it is the case that he has fallen for/become attracted to his male best friend more then he was with you then you need to end it and move on. Holding a loveless, hurtful, lie of a relationship together because of a child, will just hurt the child in the long run.
2006-11-10 06:57:03 · answer #2 · answered by xxkittenluvxx143 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have zero confidence in yourself and your relationship. Look inside yourself as it may just be you. If all of a sudden your partner has realized that he in not totally gay, then, it is up to the two of you to work it out. You must realize that people, even lovers, lie and hide their utmost secrets.You may lose him to the bi-world or he may just go straight. It happens all the time. Straight couples go through the same thing and even though one or the other is not bi, a lot of them stray with the same gender. Love is complicated between adults, and doesn't work out but about 45% of the time. Just look at the divorce stats.
2016-05-22 03:15:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to me...been there. He isn't Bi...he's gay.
As far as I am concerned there is no such thing as Bi. Why? He wants it both ways because you are a means to an end. In other words, he's hiding in a marriage while testing the waters and is stays because he is "comfortable" for the time being. He will eventually leave anyway. A Priest told me something and NEVER forget it. "Don't believe a word he says." That is the best advice I can give you. Heed it or not...you are in for a long string of misery with this guy. By professing his love he is protecting himself. The arguments and what not are used to as a means to escape for the day to meet his friends. He'll hook up with others like himself and they'll give him a workbook of "how to." Him and them are against you and don't forget that. It's an exclusive club and you are not welcome. He'll drive you up the wall. Mine had priests and Christian Brothers supporting him and I could not understand that...a Monsignor also who later was put out of the church for molesting altarboys. Even the courts are afraid of this gay rights thing. Trust no one but yourself. Start making plans and don't look back. Good luck.
2006-11-10 07:03:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry, this would break my heart...cheating is cheating no matter what you call it or who you do it with. if he's having sex with men and really into them...he's GAY. the best thing to do is confront hI'm and explain that you will not judge him if he is ready to come out. And if he is its time for you to walk away. you can stay a family without pretending to be a couple, im sure you love and respect each other but do you really want to be with a man your whole life that would be thinking of someone else.
2006-11-10 07:55:31 · answer #5 · answered by samantha w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, If he's cheating on you thats the first "Uh OH", you should get rid of him for that. Your child doesn't need to be around that and you deserve better. I don't think I could personally just let something go like that. Knowing that he goes and sticks his wee wee in another mans bum and comes back to you is disturbing and dangerous. More diseases come from homosexual activity. 6 years is a long time and it would sure suck to let him go, but I know i couldnt live with the facts that are presented. Good luck, sorry this happened to you.
2006-11-10 07:11:59 · answer #6 · answered by spiritfilled_daughterofzion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can love someone and not be able to live with them. If your partner is going to cheat he may bring home something that you do not know about and could possibly destroy your life. You have a son to take care of, he should come first. If your partner is cheating now he will forever cheat. It does not make any difference if his rendezvous is with a man, it is still cheating. How could your relationship grow when he is gallivanting about? If he does not take your relationship seriously then you need to tell him to hit the road.
2006-11-10 07:00:09 · answer #7 · answered by ecp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All the love in the world in the world could not keep me in a relationship like that. If he is Bi He will always be BI. i advise you to get out of it as soon as you can like now. In the future he'll still be cheating on you. You might end up with a STD that you can't get rid of.We would not want that would we?He is all ready lying to you.
2006-11-10 06:56:35 · answer #8 · answered by Sugar 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
his sexuality has nothing to do with this, there are plenty of bisexual people about who get married have kids etc etc its the person they love not the gender, the case here is not which gender he prefers it's his cheating if he chose to be with you then he shouldnt be cheating its no excuse saying hes bisexual for cheating, even if you were a man would he go to a woman then?
basically hes a cheat with a man or woman its still cheating dont put up with it just because its another man would you let him sleep with another woman?
i hope you get this sorted, tell him you love him but if he wants to keep you then he has to be faithfull women or men.
2006-11-10 06:55:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think that I'd want a partner who was bi sexual I don't want to have to compete with two genders, I think that one is enough. If you want to leave him I think that you should, you deserve to be happy and so does your little boy.
2006-11-10 07:11:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋