From when I was a very young child (I don't even remember when) my grandfather sexually abused me, until I was 12 ish and told someone. It went to court but he was never punished due to the jury being undecided. It's really affected me as I know he's still out there and that so many people think he's safe. None of that side of the family talk to me either and I really miss my nan =( I'm 16 now, but rly feel that if I'd just put up with it things would be a whole lot better as thigs don't seem better but far worse. How do I deal with this? I've already been through councling after I took an overdose two years ago, it hasn't helped. I miss my family and old life.
2006-11-10 05:29:19 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
sweet heart i no how you feel i was sexually abused by my grandfather too.
you never get over this but you do learn to live with it.
dont let the fact that your grandad side of the family dont talk to you i no its hard and you miss your nan but its really for the best they arent worth the worry hunny if they cant be there to support you.
by not talking to you it means that they dont have to admit what as happened to you and they can turn a blind eye which is wrong.
they are trying to make you feel like its your fault but its not your fault in any way. it never was and never will be.
what your grandad did was wrong. dont ever say you should have just put up with cos if you had it would have destroyed your life even more as it is you can still save it but it will take time.
i no things seem really bad right now but i promise you things will get easier and you really dont want your old life back no one no matter how much you love them is worth that amount of pain.
i no you probably feel that you are alone right now and that your whole world is caving in but your not alone and you need to be strong and think positive be a survivor hunny not a victim dont let him destroy you anymore.
maybe you could find a support group its a good way of talking about whats happened to you with people that have been through the same thing and can support and help you through this its also a good way to make some new friends which in turn will push your life forward for the better.
im so sorry you had to go through this and i wish you all the luck in the world.
2006-11-10 06:16:56 · answer #1 · answered by rosierotweiller 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, if you'll listen, this is my story. My mom was (and still is) an alcoholic... her "friends" used to come over all the time. My dad worked all the time, I hardly saw him. I was 9 when one of my mothers friends decided to start coming to my room when my mother passed out. he molested me until I was 12. on the day before my 13th bday he raped me. My mother didn't believe me, she responed with a "no one would ever want to touch you" (She was abusive as well and having an affair with the man who raped me) and I had no one else to tell. So I didn't tell anyone. I don't know where that man is now. But I'm 19 and I decided its time to let go. I found that through poetry, drawing, painting everything was okay. I went to counselling once or twice but everytime my mother would refuse to bring me again. She claimed there was "nothing wrong with me" and I couldn't speak at the sessions anyways so it didn't matter. Try this, draw the memories you want to get rid of on paper, as many as youd like. Then take the papers, and tell yourself your letting them go, you're taking them out of you. Rip them up and throw them away. Tell yourself they're gone, in the past. Live your life now, while you can. Don't let that person take all of you, he's already taken a valuable piece of you. Don't let him have the whole thing. Contact your family. Tell them they're forgiven for covering up his lewd act. forgiveness is the most difficult thing you'll have to do now. Everything will be okay. Contact me if you need someone. I'm really good at listening.
2006-11-10 13:38:03 · answer #2 · answered by Ophelia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't blame yourself for what your grandfather did to you. You know what happened and if your family doesn't want to support you, it's not because they don't care, they just don't know how to help. It's really hard for people outside of a situation like that to know how to handle it, and unfortunately alot of the time it is just easier to avoid. You should continue with counselling. Take all the support that is being offered and keep reminding yourself that it was not your fault. Would you really rather have that life back? I
2006-11-10 13:39:54 · answer #3 · answered by CuteChic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try a different counselor. Some people are far better at counseling then others. With what you have been through-you should have had years of therapy. Get some more help, sounds like you need it.
2006-11-10 13:38:12 · answer #4 · answered by blonde_bitch_norris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Plz.. dont look back..unless you want to hurt..then cry..but plz stop!!..meet somone nice to talk 2..for friendship..im mookieswissnutures ..plz stop thinking " your bad"...
Look Ahead ..Keep Looking Up!!
Stay Away from anyone who is negative..
I will be praying 4 u..most of all Hindsight isnt the best..look forward and pray..even if Three Words ..God Help Me..
2006-11-10 13:39:04 · answer #5 · answered by dreamy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋