What do you think?

Question

To Whom It May Concern..

Don't know if I can make the grade,
It's been so long since the fade.
Writing poems was my pastime,
Now I wonder in my blurred mind,
If I could even make a rhyme.
The one I love has disappeared,
He doesn't want to even be near,
Or close enough to talk in prose,
So I have decided just to close,
The heart that was so full of him.
It was overflowing to the brim.
Now I cry day and night,
So much for love it took a flight,
Into the blue up above,
Flying free like a dove,
Pure and white and so carefree,
Evidently done and over with me......
He looks at me then looks away,
His walk is now slower with a sway.
The warrior I knew is no longer there,
He seems down trodden and unaware,
Of love that hovers still for thee,
To last throughout eternity.......

Written on 11/09/06 by tinkerbelleswish

Does it work or not???

Hey Mark, is that what you think of me? Perhaps you're right. Not because of what I wrote, but because of what I am. A fool..... but if so, then so are the rest of the crowd that was involved in this journey to destroy it all..That's why my tears are real and so is this effin poem.....

Answer 1

I like it. There are a couple of problems with the pentamiter, but its a good poem.

the only things i would change would be the lines:

He doesn't want to even be near,

to

He doesn't even want to be near,

and

It was overflowing to the brim.

to

Overflowing to the brim.

It reads easier. The number of beats is very important in poetic literature. I would also suggest changing the word "warrior" to something like "Hero" with 2 beats.

But it is a Wonderful poem.

Answer 2

OF COURSE IT IS ITS THE BEST POEM I HAVE EVER READ

AWESOME JOB

Answer 3

you are a kn dumb asss