Something terrible happened to me in Mexico, should I tell anyone about it?

Question

It actually happened 3 years ago while I was in Cancun and traveling by myself. I was 30 at the time and was just going through alot and wanted to vacation to get my mind off of things and kind of "relive" my college years! I have a bf who didn't go because of work so I decided to go myself. I met alot of college kids and hung out with them . Anyways, we all went out together to some clubs and I got very wasted. We got separated so I was walking back to our resort bus when a group of young Mexican guys started harassing me and making me very uncomfortable. I was really too drunk to defend myself and a policeman noticed. He offered me a ride back to my hotel and I accepted. On the way, he pulled off on a sideroad and told me to get out of the car and raped me. I never told my bf. It's been bothering me lately and I don't want it to happen to anyone else. I didn't report it there because I was too scared. I know it was stupid to get that drunk and not stay with a group. HELP

Answer 1

At 30 years old you should have known better. If you wallow with the pigs you have to expect to get dirty. After three years you now feel you have to expose your soul - grow up, give us a break!

Answer 2

I agree with the well-wishers here, and especially about finding counseling - nothing wrong with having help to work through this.

If possible, you should report the incident to the Cancun police. I don't know the best way to do this - perhaps RAINN or other counseling group can advise. The reason I think it's important for you to come forward - even if you BF ends up knowing - is that you were a victim (not asking for it) and you need to take control of it. Reporting it is a long-shot, I know, but what if this same cop has a pattern of this? What if your report tips the matter so that justice - directly or indirectly - is somehow served?

Whatever you choose to do, do NOT let shame color your decision. You did nothing wrong, certainly nothing that justifies your experience.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Well, I don't know if you will be able to get it reported to Mexican police so that they can do anything about the perpetrator. It has been a few years, and the policemen on his team are probably his friends.. and just like in many other places, there is alot of corruption in the Mexican police force.

But, you have learned a lesson, (no, it wasn't your fault) but you can do the best to keep yourself from being in such a precarious position again in the future... You can also report what happened to a Rape Crisis center... one thing they may be able to do is to add your story to the serious stories hoping that other women will listen and either be more aware of the fact that this type of situation happens, or they will be more able to report something like this sooner and hopefully get similar cops out of uniform.

About whether to tell your boyfriend or not, I would tell him that you have something from your past that you want to speak to a counsellor about - ask him to be supportive in you seeing a counsellor, then ask the counsellor whether or not you should tell him and how you should go about telling him.

Anyway, best of luck, it is sometimes a rough road to get over things that happened in your past, but try to remember that it was your past, that man hurt you once, but he isn't hurting you now - it is just a memory that you need to deal with in order to put it behind you - where it belongs...

Answer 4

Yes u should tell, but the bad thing is that is Mexico (Im mexican) and it is really hard that ur case proced, cause its been like 3 years and actually is really hard that in mexico somebody make justice with something like that, its a shame and believe im not really proud about the law and justice in my country, but what u can do is to have some therapy, cause is not about putting this guy in jail (wich it would be PERFECT but an ilusion at least in Mexico) is about you being ok with urself and let that out going to therapy, learning that it was not ur fault... good luck!!

Answer 5

You should talk to someone about it. Go see a therapist. Chances, are - after so much time has passed - it won't do much good to report it, but if it will give you peace of mind, then go for it. But definitely talk about it. You have to. Getting drunk and separated from your group might not have been the safest thing to do, but it doesn't mean you deserved or "asked for" what happened.

Answer 6

Honey, we all do stupid things at times. Whatever you think of this situation, remember it wasn't your fault.

I don't know if anything can be done LEGALLY after 3 years, but definitely go to see a rape counselor. If there is nothing you can do to ever find this person again, at least you can work through this in your head.

Good Luck!

Answer 7

Definitely. I agree with the previous advices. You should go and see a therapist and talk and talk and talk asa much as you can about it, otherwise it will go on eating you forever.
It was not clever to leave your friends and walk alone but what the policeman did to you was not your fault. Good luck and all the best.

Answer 8

Sorry u had to go thru this, but bad things happens to good people. Take this as one of life's lessons learned. U should tell the people you love about this because it will help you deal with it. Pray and ask God to forgive the cop, and ask God to help u cope with this. I also go travel by myself at times, but i am extra careful.

Answer 9

Yes you can have him arrested even if this was some time ago. Just like in any court of law, show evidence of that, if you got some evidence and maybe there is a witness he can be arrested if thats what you want, justice.

Answer 10

listen, it's not your fault. He is a policeman, he knows the rules. He is there to protect you not assault you. You need to tell because it can affect your sexuality. if you don't tell, the policeman can do it to another girl. TRUST ME! ONCE A OFFENDER IS A OFFENDER FOR LIFE!!