i lost my virginity at 12 because of my step-dad who raped and tried to kill me. he's in prison 4 life now but it hurts to have sex, but I want to have kids and I'm 22 right now, and im scared that If i do get pregant, the fact that I might have to have a c-section...what should I do??
2006-11-10 04:27:05 · 33 answers · asked by dancerskickbutt 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Ok go talk to a therapist. Then a c-section is not going to kill you or be the end of the world. If your husband really loves you he'll continue to no matter if you have a scar across your stomach or not. Third you can't expect to have sex every day and get knocked up. I'd tell your husband you were raped if you haven't already not a bunch of strangers on Yahoo. He deserves to know.
2006-11-10 05:20:15 · answer #1 · answered by baddrose268 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all let me say that I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. Did you get counseling for it? Does your husband know what you went through? Is your husband the only man you've been with other than that sick bastard who raped you? If he is the only one since your step-dad then it could be that you haven't had a lot of experience in sex and with time it could hurt less. It could also be that your husband is of a large size and that's why it hurts. My husband is well endowed and it hurts to have sex at times but it's a good pain (not always but most of the time). Tell your husband to take it slow until you get used to it.
About the c-section, just because you're tiny down there doesn't mean that you'll have a c-section. The vagina opening will expand so that the baby will come out and if anything, you might need some stitches for your labia. A lot of women get extremely aroused when they're pregnant and just have a lot of sex and you'll be fine! Good luck!
2006-11-10 04:36:22 · answer #2 · answered by acehernandez2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your question is a little vauge....are you physically having painful sex or is painful because it brings back unwanted and horrible memories? If the sex is physically painful go talk to your doctor you maybe having painful sex for wide range of reasons. Unless you have difficulties or there is difficulties now there should be no reason why you have to have C-section just because you went through something awful. Once again talk with your doctor on your concerns. Most of all keep your husband in the loop, tell him how your feeling and what you are going to do help each other. You can't always do everything on your own, you need plenty of support and understanding. Good luck to you and I hope this helps!
2006-11-10 04:33:13 · answer #3 · answered by be happier own a pitbull 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A person does not have a c-section because they have been raped, it is for other reasons,one has nothing to do with the other.I really do think that you should get some counseling to help you with the rape and the trauma that you feel inside. They will help you get through the pain. You may want to talk to your husband about counseling too, you two can work through it together and it may help your husband to understand what has happened to you. There are also many great books on the subject that can be quite helpful.
2006-11-10 04:33:49 · answer #4 · answered by Urchin 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow... I'm so sorry to hear that this happened to you. Have you talked to your doctor about why it hurts? Is it a physical pain or an emotional pain -- or both? If you really WANT kids, having a C-section is not the worst thing in the world. I don't have kids but I am 30 and had a tumor removed via c-section and I am perfectly well. I recovered completely -- and don't let a fear of c-section stop you if you want kids. ;-)
2006-11-10 04:31:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk with your family physician AND ob-gyn. They could do a pelvimitry on you and determine your ability to deliver vaginally or by c-section. If you choose you may be anethesized during delivery completely (although you probably would prefer to be awake to see your baby born).
As far as painful sex, that could be due to stress or previous injury due to the rape. There are MANY ways to help you medically. Your physicians can advise you on this. You should be enjoying sex not avoiding it. Get your concerns addressed. You'll be glad you did.
2006-11-10 12:35:09 · answer #6 · answered by snddupree 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YOU NEED COUNSELING!!!!!!! I am very very serious! My mom has been through the same exact situation and even though she ignored it enough to have children, it never left her; and she has never had to have a c-section. I believe it is Psychological or maybe Physical and that possibly it gets worse over time, in any case you should get it figured out or else it will continue to ruin your life. My dad and her have had constant fights for over 20 years now because she would not sleep with him and even though he sorta knew the reason it never helped the situation. She also claims that it is painful. He had thought and talked about cheating on her or finding another woman who would sleep with him. This has caused alot of other major problems for me, with my dad (who is my stepdad) that I care not to mention. You are so young still, and you have a chance to fix it. Please do for the sake of the rest of your life! I am sorry that you have been through so much pain.
2006-11-10 04:51:17 · answer #7 · answered by JustCurous 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, if it makes any difference, I was raped at 8, and my pregnancy went fine. It went smooth as silk, was only in labor 2 1/2 to 3 hours. Why would you think you would have to have a c-section? Have you talked to your doctor about any of this? He/she would be able to tell you if there is anything to be worried about. Good luck, I know how you feel.
2006-11-10 04:30:12 · answer #8 · answered by Jenny 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Didn't your family put you into any kind of counseling? You really need to work through your issues, or you and your husband could wind up divorced.
As for the c-section fear, I am pregnant with my third child, and I have been afraid every time that I will have to have a c-section. Most women are. The best thing for that is to read up on it, the more knowledge that you have on something, the less scary that it is.
But please for the sake of your marriage, and any future relationship, get help for what happened when you were young!!
Good luck with everything!!!!!
2006-11-10 04:34:48 · answer #9 · answered by tnmomof2as 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You have real serious issues (not like most posters here that have high-school issues that can be solved if they grew up and developed common sense). You need help from a professional not the avg joe poster here. Go see a psych or a counsler who has education in this.
BTW, talking to your husband can also help. Try to let him know what happened (if he doesn't know) and suggest going to a therapist for help on this.
2006-11-10 04:32:33 · answer #10 · answered by The First 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋