My boyfriend of 2 and a half years use to tell me all the time he wanted to have a family with me, But the past 6 months he mostly wants to go out to the bars. On wed night I understand cause he has pool league, but he wants to be there on Thursday night, sometimes Friday nights, and Saturday nights, I'm 24 soon to be 25 and I'm sick of the bar already. Also he always wants to play his xbox, or online poker, we never do anything much anymore. If I ask him to go somewhere he always says he's busy, but yet he'll go places with his friends. I'm affraid that if I were to get preg, then he wouldn't change at all and I would be stuck doing everything..
2006-11-10 04:16:54 · 22 answers · asked by Jen 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Men mature at a slower rate than women. He's still living his childhood. He may have said those things before in the dating mode...to hook you he'd say what you wanted to hear. If he's not ready, then neither of you are ready. It's much easier to raise a child with a participating mate. If you've outgrown him, perhaps it is time to move on?
2006-11-10 04:19:52 · answer #1 · answered by ladyw900ldriver 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ditch this loser right away! You won't be able to change him by having a baby--you will end up getting stuck doing everything!
He's already got one foot out the door by going to the bar so often and not being 'there' by playing video games. It won't get better. Remember the good times and move on, work on a career, travel, and when you meet a new man, look at him from the point of view of what he would be like as a father. Is he kind, loving, aware, clean living (no drugs or alcohol abuse) does he have values like honesty, compassion, punctuality--does he have a respectable well paying job? Children do cost a lot in upkeep over the basic food, clothing and shelter. There will be hockey, soccer, dance, gymnastics, braces, the list goes on and on.
Good luck and don't do anything desparate, talk to your mom or an older friend/relative that you trust and really listen, I wish I did...
2006-11-10 12:33:07 · answer #2 · answered by prairiegurrl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do NOT i repeat DO NOT have a baby right now, it is not the right time and you are stil young make sure you are in astable relationship before planning on having children they are alot of responsibilitie, and even more responsibilitie whe you have to do it on your own, and i speak from experience!! If your b/f wants to have children tell him its time straighten up and fly right otherwise you are not going to have any children with him, even if u want his babies, you tell him other wise its called tough love and if he loves you he will change for you and the family he wants some day, however from what you have described, he seems to still be immature and still living out his "fun" years let him get it out of him now, before u are married and have children, not only will your relationship thank you so will your children... take your time and dont rush in to anything, maybe you are not even right for each other..time will tell. Just be patient!! Hope i helped.
~CHEERS!!~
2006-11-10 12:30:37 · answer #3 · answered by Romy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but it sounds like he's not ready. Don't do it because if he's out there wanting to go to the bars all the time, you'll still be left at home, but with a baby. Make sure that you're both really ready. It sounds like his priorities are elsewhere.
2006-11-10 13:01:03 · answer #4 · answered by JoesWifee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds immature to me. If you are so far over all the interests he has, it sounds to me like you shouldn't stick around. He may never grow up, or he may take a long time. In the mean time, you'll just be sitting around hoping for change. Remember, people don't change. Go find yourself a man who will want to be by your side every chance he gets. One who will want nothing more than to come home to his pregnant wife.
2006-11-10 13:07:05 · answer #5 · answered by angelgirlSC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not get pregnant right now. You should know that most people don't change (at least not for the better). That's not to say that your guy won't but unfortuately he doesn't sound mature enough to handle the responsiblity of a child, as he is still a child himself. I hope all works out for you.
2006-11-10 12:25:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don' t have one with this guy for now-if ever. You are only 24 and you have plenty of time. Your boyfriend still sounds like a child himself so he would not be a good Dad right now. I really think you should reconsider this relationship,I don't think he will change
2006-11-10 12:26:03 · answer #7 · answered by Urchin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are right. You will probably end up being a single mother if you do get pregnant. Have a serious discussion with him and either marry him or move on. You do not need to bring a child into a shaky relationship.
2006-11-10 12:24:20 · answer #8 · answered by kstfas 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go with your feeling. The guys that grow up just because they have a baby are not common (it's slightly more common for girls to grow up just because they have a baby). I'd wait and see if a family is what he really wants right now. If you guys do break up it will be a lot harder if there is a baby involved.
2006-11-10 12:21:12 · answer #9 · answered by zara01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it time for you to move out, find your own place, and find a guy that is wanting the same things you do. Please don't stay with a guy just cause its familiar. Please live your life instead of holding back because of some guy. He's not at the same place you are. There are lots of guys out there that want marriage and kids. But its hard to find one if you are still with the old guy.
2006-11-10 12:26:34 · answer #10 · answered by Velken 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋