to go or not to go?

Question

ive been married for 30 years my husband never takes me out we have talked about this and he always says things will change but still i feel very much alone do you think i should go to the pictures on my own just to show him how desprate i am . im quite a shy person so this would be a big step for me but i feel life is just passing me by hes very much into his music and goes away on promoting his bands this is a hobbie not his work please help as im at my wits end thanks sue

Answer 1

omg!!!! you have been sitting at home for the last 30 years, how did you do it, I take my hat of to you,how have you manged to stay sane........so now is the time for you to change, and get out there and do things, find a club, a women's club, look up a old friend, go to the movies, get your confidence back, get your life going again, i am sure you can do it, bet you have been the best wife ever, so know its your time. I think that your husband has been a bit mean, so you need to show him, that you are not going to put up with this any longer, and if he do sent start spending time with you, then you are going to make your own life, life is to short, and its a beautiful world out there, we just need to get out and find it. There is nothing worse than feeling alone, even when you are married, its sad..........so sweetie get out there and do things, start of by going to the movies.........good luck and god bless.

Answer 2

Yes - go for it.

Why not join a club or class and make some friends. Even if it's just the WI or an am-dram society (they always need helpers backstage) and then you'll have a pick of people to go to the cinema with or even out for lunch/dinner.

Maybe, once he's realised what a vivacious and exciting person he's married to, your hubby will book his ideas up too!

Answer 3

My wife had the same problem with me I'm sorry to admit,what we do was talk about it come to a decision of how to make life for her better,in the end she goes to bingo with her friends a few times a mouth,i take her out for a meal more now as her happiness is important,she could re-bell and find other avenues of fun not to her other half's likening

Answer 4

Hi Sue.

Congratulations on 30 years of marriage! That's fabulous.

I suggest that you go out to the pictures with a good friend of yours - or even somewhere else that takes your fancy. He has a hobbie so why don't you have one too. Don't stress about it - JUST DO IT!

Good Luck. xx

Answer 5

It's hard to go out by yourself and very easy to become isolated. If you are lucky enough to have a friend, then you could go out together. Do you have a hobby ? because it can be easier to do that alone eg join a gym or line dancing. Good luck.

Answer 6

well,maybe a reminder you dont have to go alone? there must be someone you could go with,,female or male,,,you are being taken for granted and after 30 years,,(congrats by the way) he is right to be a little smug at having the same loving wife he has always had,BUT,,he is a little complacent thinking you will just accept whatever bit of affection he throws your way and not complain. if it were me i would go,,but not alone,,take someone but dont forget to make a real big deal about how it was nice to get some male attention from someone who asked if you were seeing anyone,,tell your hubby you were really flattered and keep the chatting going until his ears prick up,,,,i dont mean threatening divorce,, i mean a little jealousy wont go amiss here,and that extra spark may get him at least once,to take you out.

Answer 7

First I would try to get involved in his hobby see if he'll let you go with him to promote bands and stuff. If that doesn't work then maybe grab a friend and go the pictures. If that doesn't work then I would give it up..

Answer 8

Pick yourself up and make a life for yourself. Time goes by quickly and before you know it you are old and have nothing but misery. Join a church or some clubs. You are headed for a serious depression unless you take care of your own social needs.

Answer 9

My husband is often not home. I don't go out alone or with friends to prove a point, I do it because I can. You don't need permission from him to go out, and don't expect he's going to be too impressed because you are going out alone. He might be relieved. The first few times going out alone are kind of weird, but it really is enjoyable. you'll be surprised to find out how many people are out there alone. You might make some new friends.

Answer 10

Absolutely, if he doesnt want to accompany you then you go with a friend or go alone. It might just give him the push he needs to recognize the fact that you are tired of sitting at home. Life is too short to sit and wait on anyone..........you go girl :)