I just found out that my four kids biologically belong to my wife's pastor. After nine years of marriage, the doctor said I am impotent and have been for sixteen years, yet i have four kids in nine years.
2006-11-10 03:45:51 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
WOW, That's a hard one. First of all, Don't do anything stupid. You may need to get away for a while and just think about your next step. I have read some of the answers written and I agree with most of them. If you are not positive, find out for sure that you are not the father. If you want a divorce get yourself a good lawyer because you may end up paying child support on kids that aren't yours. Again, if they are not yours, you may never be able to see them again if you don't pay. My mind is kind of going like this........Find out who the father or fathers are, demand child support including back child support. Set this up in accounts for the kids so they will have their schooling or whatever paid for. Then deal with the wife. We are suppose to love our wife as Christ loves the church but we are no where close to what he is. Remember that these kids know you as dad. Don't let this ruin their lives or your relationship with them. Right now they probably need you more than they need anything else. Time to do some heavy thinking man. Email me if you need someone to talk to. There will be life after this and you will make it through.
2006-11-10 04:13:34 · answer #1 · answered by kstfas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, get a second opinion, you don't want to over react if your doctor was wrong. Then if you find out that the kids aren't yours, you have to remember that it's not the kids fault and I think that you should confront the pastor. He overstepped his boundaries and should not be preaching the word of God. I think that you should leave your wife (who hasn't been faithful for a long time) and start a new life. Just keep the children in your life. They don't need to know the details, just that you and your wife don't love each other anymore.
2006-11-10 03:52:12 · answer #2 · answered by Jer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can your doctor know how long you have been impotent? I must assume you have had DNA tests ran to confirm parentage, if not it is probable that she had sex with other men also. Hit the pastor in the spot they worship, his wallet! You will probably always be the kids 'dad' but shouldn't have to carry the financial burden for that. Get an out of town lawyer if you live in a small town.
2006-11-10 05:26:01 · answer #3 · answered by dano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a second opinion from another doctor, and then get a paternity test. Four kids belong to the pastor?? Wow, that's somewhat unbelievable. Good luck if you're serious
2006-11-10 03:59:44 · answer #4 · answered by odessa2469 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you are not impotent...that means you cannot get an erection. You may be infertile, but apparently not since you have four kids. Get a paternity test. If you have been having sex with your wife, your kids are probably yours. What makes you think they belong to your wife's pastor?
2006-11-10 03:52:38 · answer #5 · answered by Bev 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damn. If you've made CERTAIN that the children do not belong to you through DNA testing then you can confront her about it. This is a really ****** up situation because it involves kids who have known no one but you as their father all their lives. This is about the worst thing that can happen to any guy. Find out the facts first then I'd suggest taking some time to think. Sit down and think things out for a week...or two...maybe a month. Don't rush it and make an overly emotional decision. Take your time and think things out clearly. Good luck.
2006-11-10 03:54:07 · answer #6 · answered by Dark 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, so where does that place your relationship and feelings about your wife?
Regardless of the way that you feel about her now...these children still think you are their father and they will always think that way. Do you feel different about them?
Do what you need to do with your wife, but do not take it out on these innocent children.
Why did you not know that you were impotent for 16 years? I find that rather hard to believe, but I guess anything is possible.
But, you need to decide if you can forgive your wife for these indiscretions and move on, or do you want to divorce her and remain a part of your children's lives.
I do not envy you the choice you will have to make.
Good Luck.
2006-11-10 05:18:15 · answer #7 · answered by lildragonlexi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're up **** creek. I'd tell you to just leave but if you are a decent human being then you've already formed a relationship with the kids.
I read someplace that there is never a reason to hit a woman. I would like to add an addendum to that, because if this proven to be a fact then i would physically and painfully drag her and his kids over his house and drop them off on his doorstep. One big happy family.
If he has a wife it will be even more fun.
2006-11-10 03:58:27 · answer #8 · answered by Big Marc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is awful. I would get paternity tests first, it is possible the DR. is wrong. Second, these are still your kids in my oinion. Even if they ARE shown to not be yours biologically, you are still the only Dad they have ever known. As for your wife....wow...I don't even know what to say about people like that. I don't know how she could ever expect you to trust her again. I guess only you can decide that. My hearfelt prayers go out to you. What a difficult situation!
2006-11-10 03:53:09 · answer #9 · answered by PennyPickles17 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How could a doctor tell you you have been impotent for 16 years?Did this doctor retain some sperm for 16 years? I think you are full of S***.
2006-11-10 03:53:10 · answer #10 · answered by Mr Know it All 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋