Could you help this 15 yo boy make a decision?

Question

A year I joined a bad crowd and did wrong stuff. I got drunk and joined some guys who broke some windows and made some grafitti. I didn't but I was there. I got a harsh punishment from my parents, for 3 months was grounded from everything, had to clean walls an do heavy chores to pay my parentsfor those damages. I also joined some social activites, which was great. I made up for all my mistakes, Im free now, but got into a deep depression. I couldn't tal to my parents any more, because of resentment (they went overboard), shame and cause they reminded me of what I went through. I lost weight, got sick, my excelent grades fell and I had suicide thoughts. Acoording to my grandma who loves me, I stared a nwe life with her, a new school, far from everything that could remind me of that stuff. Now my parents and my lil sister want me back, but thos will be devastating. I can't live w/ them any more, though now they are proud of me, my grades, of what I am. I wanna live w/ who loves me

I was punished enough, don't deserve to be punished again. Living with my family and have everything back in my memory will be a kinda unfair and devastating punishment, I cant bear this. My parensta nd my sister want me back, said that thing is over, they love me, but it's alive in my brain. Now I have a new school, new friends and I love my grandma who never condmned me, but did her best to bring back my real "me" and taught me how to live again and get back my self-esteem. My parents should forget about me, I made up for all my mistakes. I had been mean to myb lil sister, but I then was so good to her that she misses me. I love her but getting back home will be my ruin..

Answer 1

Good on you for turning your life around; that was brave and tough, and you sound like a great kid.

It sounds to me like you are happy and doing well with your grandmother, and settled into a new school away from the bad crowd.

I would stay with her until you finish your schooling. She is your family too, and I bet you love and help her just as much as she does you.

Your mother, father and sister are still part of your life, and you can stay with them on weekends and holidays.

Answer 2

This is a really hard question. My best advice would be to live with your grandma until high school is over and then consider moving back. Your 15 like me so that would mean your in grade 10 as well? So that's only 3 years with your grandma. To sum this up, If you really think you are better off with your grandmother, it won't mess things up with your parents any more, and you'll be able to stay with her, do it. I think your parents should have been more supportive and that is just what your Grandma can do for you right now. I am sorry for what you had to go through and I congratulate you on succeeding! Good Luck!xo :)

Answer 3

You have already made your decision,You said that the one person that brought you back from your depression was your grand mother and she did not make you feel like you did not make mends for what you did. What I think is you still need to keep the comunications open with your parents and your sister, They do love you and they wish that you all could be a happy family again. Let them know the way you are feeling and that you are happy right where you are and that you wish to remain there. I think they would rather see you happy and getting good grades rather than see you depressed and miserable. I am not a consilor or anything but when someone as young as your self has felt depressed to the point of thinking about suicide then I would think that you should speak to a perfessional with your parents and grandmother by your side. You sound really grounded now and very happy, your past is edsactly what it is your past, as long as you have learned from it then you have achieved alot. You said that you want to live with who loves you, do you think that your parents are only proud of you because of your good grades and how you changed your life? Try to forgive them because as parents we want our children to grow up happy healthy and always feeling loved by use, talk to them and try to see where they are coming from, and if you don't want to speak to them then talk to your grandmother she will listen and give you her opinion, because you trust her . I wish you all the best in life and god bless you.

Answer 4

Talk to your grandmother and tell her what your feeling. You shouldn't write your parents off so easily. I suggest staying where you are for this school year and then maybe spending a couple of weeks with your parents next summer. But just for a vacation - once there you can judge if things would be a little better or not and since it's only for a 'vacation' you can return to your grand-mothers and think about where you want to go from there.
Everybody makes mistakes - even parents.

To err is human, but to forgive is divine!

In the end your lucky to have these choices but the final choice is still yours.
Good Luck

Answer 5

You are at an age where you can have this discussion with your family. Whether you relive your behavior is up to you. I've been in your shoes, and people (loved ones included) only do what you allow them to do to you. If you truly feel forgiven, nothing anyone does or says to you will make you feel guilt or upset you. Maybe you don't like to be reminded of how you used to be because it makes you feel bad.

The fact is, our behavior has consequences even when we do everything to make it right. Unfortunately, one of the longer lasting consequences is changing the way people view us. It may take years for people to stop seeing you in light of what you did. I can tell you this, the longer you take to go back and show everyone more of the new you, the longer it will take for them to forget the old you.

If you truly feel you aren't ready to face that and being with Grandma is better and not just an avoidance mechanism, then stay with Grandma. Just think about the fact that your family probably feels like they are being unjustly punished because they did what they needed to do when you weren't behaving and they don't get to experience the benefits now that you are.

Answer 6

You, your parents, your sister and your grandmother need a counselor.
Of course you think they were too harsh, you're a teenager.
Of course they think they know what's best, they're parents.
You are scared about reverting to your old life and every bad thing in it. That is normal to feel that way.
What ever you do, do not push your family away. Any of them. It may take a long time to see it, but eventually this will be water under the bridge. You'll all get over it. This will be that one thing in your life, that changed your life, that you will be able to pass on to your own children.
You want your parents to forgive you; you have to be willing to forgive. You also don't get to blame them for your actions. Own up to it. Get over it. Move on.
Perhaps you could start by spending a weekend with them and have some good quality family time. See how things go. Continue to do well with your new school and friends. You only have a couple of years left of school, but you have a lifetime with your family. I can't imagine Grandma approving of you cutting off your family. A woman who loves you and supports you the way she has would never tell you to do something that would destroy your life. If you trust her, talk to her and trust her words. She won't steer you wrong. She did raise one of your parents right? She knows what she is doing.
It may work out that you spend more time with your family and still get to stay with Grandm, for a while. Maybe you could talk to them about finishing the school year before making your decision. Respect them and they will respect you. Believe it or not they love you and want what is best for you. If staying where you are is what is best for you, then they will see that. You need to prove yourself in your words and in your actions. Show them that report card. Show them how you have matured. Let them meet these great new friends. Your previous lack of good judgement makes it hard for them to trust your judgement now. Prove it to them and prove it to yourself.
You guys can work this out if you work together.
Talk to them. I know that will be hard. You might be more comfortable doing it in a letter. Then you could meet afterwards to talk about it. Then you will be sure you get your side of things out without any interruptions. Tell them that you don't feel like you will ever be able to gain their trust and approval again. Tell them that you are afraid of leaving where you are because things are going so well and you don't want to mess that up. Tell them that you are finally back to being the guy you want to be, that they have always known you were deep inside, the guy they raised you to be. God Bless you honey...please don't loose this chance to make everything o.k. (not perfect, just o.k.)!

Answer 7

They are your family. They are the ONLY ones who care about your best interests and well-being 100%, 24/7, 365 days a year. Nobody else on this planet has your back like that. You need to forgive and forget although I'm not sure what you need to forgive - maybe forgive yourself. Teenagers make mistakes and learn from them - it's in your programming. Don't make another mistake. It wouldn't hurt for you to get some counseling to move forward which is what you need to do, move forward.

Answer 8

you be conscious of anybody makes errors at some factors of their life. you probably did make a mistake and study from it. this is a great element which you would be able to start up your new life, acquaintances and faculty, yet bear in mind one element, your parents ought to additionally be on your life. You and your acquaintances have been by way of a tough time, and that i've got faith the rationalization they have punished you turn into on your man or woman stable. See, how for you have come. in case you experience which you nonetheless choose for greater time to regulate and get your self jointly, tell them so. clarify to them that as quickly as each little thing has exceeded, you will return. tell them which you're satisfied at the place you're precise now and has your grandma who helps you. even regardless of the undeniable fact that, enable them to be conscious of which you nonetheless love them and that they are nonetheless an excellent area on your life. one element this is nice to be conscious is that--they're nonetheless your parents. of direction, they'll choose for you back to stay with them, and so you could be happy for it. The previous is the previous, yet what you have found out from it only counts. What you have finished is only a historic previous, yet you may enable some to be a factor of who you have turn into. there is not any longer something incorrect on it. stable success.

Answer 9

Definitely do what you think is best for you, which sounds like living with your grandmother. If your parents truly love you (which of course they do), then they will understand that you are doing what you feel is best for you. Just tell them that now that you are living with your grandmother, you really love your new school and have started a better life for yourself; they will be very pleased to hear that and understand that you don't want to start all over AGAIN. Good luck, and you should be EXTREMELY proud of yourself because it must be difficult to start anew.

Answer 10

Stay with your grandmother. It seems that she saved you from a horrible end, and going back to where it all began wouldn't be a safe or smart thing to do. You love your family, and it seems that they love you too, but staying away might be best for now. Maybe in the future, you'll feel ready to go back. Talk to your granmother and your parents, and you can all make up a solution to this problem.